Maldonado, W. Hoops to take on Lehi
The evil hatred does
Sports, back paga
at SOCiety.
Sunny, with increasing cloudiness and possible showers in the evening Hi 46 LoSS
Mike Liskey says hate is a destructive force eating away
Tomorrow: P n I . sunny, windy and cold. Hi 46 Lo 33
Opinion, pag* 6
QIlii* Hatly iferaiayktmrioit Eclilonal 89R6585 Busmau 8986581
The Independent Student Newspaper of the University of Pennsylvania • Founded 1885
Thursday, December 5,1996
Volume CXII. Number 121
Drexel: A stone's throw from campus, but far from connected While administrators say the two schools will work together on security issues, they have little academic interaction. By Mark Fiore The Daily Pennsylvania!!
Penn and Drexel University — the two largest businesses in West Philadelphia — have long experienced a shaky relationship While several administrators called the interaction between the two University City schools strong and mutually beneficial, others expressed some concern about the rela tionship — especially in the wake of last month's rappelling incident, when a Drexel student fell 13 stories outside of Graduate Tower B. Drexel and Penn mostly work together
through informal and individual based in teraction. according to University President Judith Rodin "There is a great collaboration between professors," said Rodin, referring to several joint research initiatives. "There are always those kinds of projects — but they don't come from the top down." A current joint effort between Drexel and Penn physics professors seeks to improve computer technology in the city, said Philip Terranova, Drexel's vice president for uni versity relations. Terranova explained that Penn Physics
Professor Robert Hollebeek and Drexel Physics Professor Da Hsuan Pheng have Tomorrow: A closer look at Penn's worked with the state government and the interaction with other regional schools. corporate community "to bring an immense supercomputing center here to Philadelphia " then will be continuing projects thai real]) re it's a great example of Penn and Drexel late to our shared communities that we will collaboraUng in the name of the greater com work together on." she said munity." said Terranova, who added that the Despite future plans to interact on com relationship between the two schools is "very munity-wide projects, the University has no good." intent to develop more concrete academic Penn administrators said the relationship ties with Dream, said Ken! Peterman, the between Penn and Drexel will develop further College's assistant dean for Academic A! as they deal with several non-academic issues fairs. facing University City. "We would be open to thinking about more According to Provost Stanley Chodorow, interaction if it were proposed, but the Collegl I the two universities are considering cooper has no current plans to pursue a formal re ating on security issues. And Rodin said fu lationship at this time," Peterman said. ture projects will require working with Drexel He added that the College's Mibsianii.il re "As we talk about a special services disi rid sources may DOl warrant more formal joint
,in- between the CoUen and Drexel since Penn Btudents already have man) re search and academic opportunities there things that thej could gel al Drexel thai they cant gel here?" Peterman said And are they 01 the same quality" These arc the kmds ui questions thai would have i»be addressed in the past, interaction between Penn and has been i >«»t > i benefit lal and damag in« Thetwnunivcisiii. ire facilities not only for academic reasons but also for students A pilot program this fall permitted 20 Drexel students to live In Grad Tower R When one ol those students fell 13 stories while rappelling down the outside of the See DREXEL, p
U. takes over leasing for 3401 Walnut Administrators will work with a consulting firm to redevelop retail in the complex and across campus. An intrepid but small group of crossword enthusiasts hopes the Penn Scrabble Club will find its way to the top of the Scrabble world someday.
By Marisa Katz
By Liz Goldhirsh The Dally IVniwyivanian
Most Penn students are able to satisfy their crossword cravings with the puzzle in The Daily Pennsylvanian But some seek the greater challenge only the Scrabble board can provide. Now those who fall into the latter category need no longer feel alone. Just head to the second Door of the Van Pelt Library on a Wednesday or Sunday night, and enter the world of the Scrabble Club. Hunched over tile-covered boards, members flip through die
tionaries and trade humorous glances or wary expressions of con centration — depending on how competitive the game is — while figuring out their next move. Usually, the players break up into groups of two or as many as four. Competitive Scrabble mandates a two-player game, so the one-on-one duels adhere strictly to the rules. The larger games play a more relaxed version — which is exactly the variety Tony Bufort, a second-year Philosophy graduate student, was hoping for when he started the club this fall.
i wanted a place where I could come to play some good Scrabble, both casual and competitive," he explains, "where both novices and experts can both play comfort ably." Indeed, while first-timers hone new-found skills, others are at work "trying to produce state champi ons." jokes the unofficial co-President, Education student David Jelenick. Actually, it may not be such a joke: Bufort has big plans for the club. Soon he hopes to be trading See SCRABBLE, page 3
College freshman Sarah Trachtenberg goes head-to-head in a Scrabble match with 1996 Rutgers graduate Frank Duffy. The Scrabble Club meets twice a week to hone its vocabulary skills. Mran Ylu The Daily Penn-..
In signing a contract Tuesday night, the University acquired full leasing responsibilities for the 3401 Wal nut shoppmi.complex .allowing it to control the vendors in the Fund Court and the slim- fronts at 34th and Wal nut streets Working with the consulting firm William Jackson Ewing, officials plan to redevelop the complex as part of a complete overhaul of local retail Although the University owns the shopping complex. KraVCO a Philadelphia based leasing company which built the King ol Prussia Mall had previous ly managed the space When the shopping complex was built about 10 years ago. University administrators asked Kr.uco to handle leasing responsibilities because of the company s sue COBS in King of Prussia. But University i»resident Judith Rodin said the frequent vacancies in the complex left administrators "outraged.'' The most prominent hole has been the Italian Bistro space, empty for two and a hall yean Other short lived ventures at 3401 Walnut included The Lodge. Quantum Books and Perfect Pretzel Now that the University is no longer at the mercy of Kravco's leasing decisions. Executive Vice President John Fry said his first priority will be to fill the Bistro space In a survey last spring by the University s Heal Es tate Department, students ranked the shops at 3401 Walnut Street as the most popular stores near campus. Of the survey's respondents 67 percent said they frequent the building's food court About 20 percent asked for a "nice" Italian restaurant near campus, which may influence the search for new
vendors Picking up leasing responsibilities for 3401 also fits into the University's ongoing efforts to improve retail on and near campus. The University will work with consultants from the firm who specialize in urban develc ipment and retail — to analyze the Walnut complex and examine the current 'mixed bag ol tenants. Pry said See WALNUT, page 4
Health System moves to cover entire region
U. Council discusses study abroad, charity Only one community member speaks at the annual public forum. By Andrea Ahles The Daily Pwuwytvanian
Although extensively advertised as an open forum for public comments and questions, yesterday's Universi ty Council meeting only heard from one non-member. Council held the annual forum dur ing the second half of its two hour meeting to allow students, faculty and staff to present issues to the body for consideration and discussion. During the first hour of the meet ing in the Quadrangle's McClelland HaU, Provost Stanley Chodorow presented his State of the University ad-
dress, discussing research, graduate education and the University's expanded international programming. School of Social Work adminis trative assistant Paul Lukasiak brought several issues to Council for discussion during the open forum. The University, Lukasiak argued, should not be using central real estate for retail when there are academic departments that need new space. Lukasiak also discussed outsourcing and requested more communitywide involvement in the issue. "The decision to outsource academic services shouldn't be up to just the administration." Lukasiak said. Council Moderator Will Harris, a Political Science professor, said the body's steering committee would deal appropriately with each of Lukasi-
Its recent expansion is part of a plan to be 'big enough to be the best.' Charlie Mo&kowtu T''.' Da ■. Pennsytvanian
Provost Stanley Chodorow, University President Judith Rodin and University Council Moderator Will Harris took part in Council's annual open forum yesterday.
ak's concerns and determine what committees should address the issues raised. When it was apparent no other stu dents, faculty or staff wanted to speak, several Council members brought up concerns of their own. Microbiology Professor Helen Davies commented on the lack of staff consultation by the administration when turning Penn's Way — the University's annual charitable donation campaign — over to United Way.
Harris recommended tabling that discussion until next September But Executive Vice lYesident John Fry said he would like to discuss the Penn's Way issue once the numbers are complied from this year's fundraising effort. For a place of this size. $300,000 to $400,000 is probably not what it should be." Fry said about the decreasing contributions to Penn's Way See U. COUNCIL page 2
By Suzanne Aiders The D.iilv l'i*iuis>K.inian
From the Medical School to the Hospital of the University of Penn sylvania to doctors in southern New Jersey, the University of Pennsyiva nia Health System now affects health care throughout the Philadelphia region and bevond. Formed in 1993. the Health Sys tern has already established ties with many area physicians and several hospitals. The system is currently in the process of acquiring two more area hospitals, and Chief Executive Officer William Kelly said officials are plan
ning further expansion into other ar eas of health care Those efforts have made the Medical Center winch eneompa the School ol Medicine and HUP — just one part of a much larger stnic lure And now. the system is looking to expand into other areas, such BS nursing homes, rehabilitation facili ties and home health care organiza tlonB, Kelly said The system currently owns two long term care facilities and two home health care organizations Hospitals an not just where it ends, lie said, adding that the system is working toward a "continuum of care" The original development of the Health System In 1993 came in re spouse to greater national trends in See UPHS, page 3
I
New bagel company to fire up its ovens in Houston Hall mall By next month, the new store will open in the space Bagel Builders vacated in October. By Marisa Katz The Out) IViuurylvanuui
The bagels are back. An independent bagel company plans to open shop in the basement of Houston Hall by January 13. fill ing the hole left when Bagel Builders vacated the spot in Octo ber Under the preliminary name of University Bagel, the store will serve fare along the same lines as Bagel Builders — which closed its Houston Hall location due to financial difficulties within its franchise group, according to Associate Director of Student Life and Facilities Tom Hauber. The new company's owner and president. Ashok Patel. said bagels, sandwiches and drinks will dominate the daytime menu, while cof fee and dessert will be served in the evening.
Thursday. December 5.1996
CAMPUS
Pay 2 The Daily Pennsylvanian
Patel said he will eliminate the baked potatoes Bagel Builders offered but added that he is open to suggestions about further changes to the menu. In addition to the space in Houston Hall. Patel manages three 24 hour Dunkin' 1 )nrmts operations Although he has never worked with bagels before, he said he will buy his dough from a well-respected Southern New Jersey wholesale company Independent retail advisor John Darnall. who is working with Patel, said the company will serve "good, wholesome food." "The presentation will be different from your typical fast food chains." Darnall said. He added that the store will offer higher quality food, for lower prices than Bagel Builders. Hauber said the company aims to revive the level of business the Hall of Flags had when Skolnick's first occupied the space 13 years ago. "Back in the '80s. there was a tremendous level of response from students and staff," Hauber said. "Mr. Patel is trying to get some of that back."
Hauber added that working with an independent company should allow for more quality control than a chain would But the new bagel shop may not stay in Houston Hall for long. In May of 1998, the building will close its doors for a two year renovation as part of the Perelman Quadrangle project. The last blueprints Hauber saw indicated only four retail spaces, in comparison to the current 20, he said. "We have not yet had the opportu nity to discuss how these space will be set up — with single or multiple operators," he said. He added that many of the current Houston Hall merchants are con cerned about their future. Darnall said he and Patel have discussed the issue at length. "We hope the bagel operation will have been well-enough received, so that we could open a second location in the campus area and move to that space when the renovation begins." Darnall said. He added that he will work with University City Associates and the University's rental agency to identify additional space opportunities.
CAMPUS CRIME REPORT cars on the 3900 block of Pine Street and a third car on the 4000 block of Pine Street were broken between 11 a.m. December 1 and 12:15 p.m. December 2.
Recovered Auto December 2 — University Police recovered a 1985 Chevy Blazer with Pennsylvania tags on the 3700 block of Chestnut Street at 3:55 p.m The car's owner is not affiliated with the University. The car was stolen in New York on October 19. Theft Auto December 2 — A University employee reported his 1989 Honda stolen from the 3900 block of Pine Street at 3:25 a.m. Police spotted the car as the employee was reporting the theft and pursued it until they lost sight of it at 60th and Walnut streets. Criminal Mischief/Auto December 2 — The windows of two
CONSULTANTS TO THE TRADE custom Quality Framing wood-NH'iai Mouldings (Over l,(XX)Framesivlrsi Museum MailxKird etc.
This year's Penn's Way drive will end Friday. City and Regional Planning Chairperson Anthony Tomazinas told Council the University should closely examine the potentially growing drug problem on campus. He added that Penn should consider publicly declaring its campus
IF
Join us for the debut event in a series of book discussions and siblings by I'enn authors
Member of Professional Picture Frames Association
Thursday, December 5, 1996 12:15-1:30 PM English House Class of 1938 Lounge
volume and individual orders Framedl • i \w-ck Service • Rush Service Available
I I Tfell IS 0 L-
Presented In Perspectives in Humanities and
t? fe I I I
THE KINGS COURT / ENGLISH HOUSE * FORUM FOR PENN AUTHORS *
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All your framing needs on premises!
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FREE to faculty, staff and students • Refreshments will be served
Open Monday - Friday 8:30-5:00 Saturdays 9:00-2:00
All information was obtained from University Police. — Ben Hammer
Harris said Council would take the idea under consideration, adding that the body could assign a committee to report on drug use on cam pus. Before the discussion ensued, Chodorow presented his State of the University address, which was postponed from last month's meeting. He talked in detail about taking steps to make the University community more globally aware. The provost's office recently received a report on the foreign language cur riculum that included the idea of teaching social science courses in foreign languages. The University's study-aboard programs are also going to be reviewed and some programs may be cut,
The Politics of Motherhood by Dr. Toni Bowers
382-3900
December 3 — University Police investigators are looking for a former
Aggressive Panhandling December 3 — Police arrested Matthew Jackson on 38th Street between Chestnut and Walnut streets at 4:15 p.m. and issued him a citation for aggressive panhan dling.
drug-free.
U. COUNCIL from page 1
lhi- University Community is cordially invited to celebrate the publication of
AMERICAN PICTURE FRAMING
December 3 — A student who lives in the Quadrangle reported at 3:20 p.m. that someone charged $630 to his credit card.
December 2 — A female student who lives in the Quadrangle re ported that someone charged $385 between November 18 and No vember 26 to a credit card she never received.
U. Council tackles a variety of issues
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4246 Market St., Philadelphia, PA
Fraud December 3 — A student who lives in Mayer Hall reported that someone had used his credit card, which was stolen November 20, to order a refrigerator for a North Philadel phia residence.
Penn employee who cashed a check made out to a student last month.
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Skiny.s CoUft/EngUttl House- is located M s 169 sansum strict, near Mitt] Street I For more- information, pk-asi- tall Michelle at ll~ ~1(>I or Kruno at tenji^-is-iu-iyAs-i^esa^
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CAMPUS BRIEFS
Psych Department delays decision on split The Psychology Department has not yet come to a decision on a departmental split, according to Chair person Robert Seyfarth. After two meetings, the depart ment decided to continue its discus sion in sub-groups that will report back to Seyfarth by December 15. The department wants to get more information before it makes any decision." he said. The meetings, held last week, were spurred by a nationwide discussion about the future of psychology and its two divergent branches — cogni tive science and neuroscience. —Ali Feen
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Chodorow said. He added that the number of international students and visiting he ulty from abroad at the University needs to increase. "The presence of foreign students and faculty and research personnel is one of the ways in which we can internationalize the campus," Chodor tm said. Currently, there are roughly 2,650 foreign students at Penn — approx imately 850 undergraduates and 1.800 in graduate and professional schools. Chodorow also discussed research funding and sources during his speech. The US Department of Health and Human Services gave $186,538,693 in research money to the University in 1996, making it the single largest source of funding. The Medical Cen ter receives the most research fund ing — $171,500,848 — of any school at Penn. Chodorow also discussed the re suits from the provost's first survey of doctoral students upon their gradu ation from Penn. The survey asked graduate students to evaluate their dissertation advisor, research op portunities and the quality of their time at Penn. And Harris announced yesterday he would step down from his posi tion on Council effective next semester, since he will be on sabbatical in the spring. Rodin said she has asked some one to serve as moderator but would not release the name, since she hasn't yet received a definite answer. Harris served as moderator for four-and-a-half years, and previously held Council's parliamentarian position for three years.
Attention New Yorkers:
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Isratlbrtak iscacc again pioudine W0* RCC iimnd-lup plane tickets t«« students who pnticipMB in one ,>i ova 40 accredited brad
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r.iipblt candidates art Jewish undergraduate rullrgr students: 1. V» bo hint nescr before been In Israel 2. Whost hometown is in one aj New inrk t its \ The boroughs. Long Island nr WcslcbcNltr. Smipls Bnttd VHI puk ilie progran you tike, and ssc will p.i> loi sow ticket io goto Israel For an application ami I bslieg d ■GCiedtod 1 at IIK* Israel Department ai Hilk-I.it New York 2li*MMIJ4X i> scad us we mul at Israeli hi I.I nusin.nnli.coni Ask abuut our i «ttk IlilM of S.\. \N mti r Ism I Imir VWii including Israel Break i.
The Israel Department at Hillel of New York 301 Park Avenue South • No 613 • NYC • 10016 'svaljhikntstaMn I -Kvs|lwl>4lr*ie.in-Jh.. iv-UN« Iw-jrtv nvlrl lllr ii^ol HJki ■< SrW V«t iisl
What kind do you want? The world's religions and philosophies offer many different "(IOCIS' to choose from. How does a person go about finding the one that's right for him/her? For the free article HOW TO PICK YOUR OWN GOD, call 1-800-236-9238.
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Maureen Tkarik Diem Trail Jenny Axl Meng Wang Wong Rachel U'wis Kalnan DeArmas Kathryn Delias. .
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addrwa below 'uilul'i'iiM-si/lliimiiii is published U through PHday in Philadelphia. Pennsylvania dunng the fall and spring semesters and week l> during summer sessions except during e» animation and vacation perind/'eiin.s-ulciiMuiM is available free of charge, our copy per leader at distribution sites OH the I niM'isily of Pennsylvania campus. No part thereof may lie reproduced in am 'fen I in whole or in part, without the written »I of the executive editor OfTUe & Mailing \ddic.s mi., Wainui Street Philadelphia. PA 19104 Business Advertising: (218) 898 6581 News Iditorial ' 21 a i 898 6585 I .is I ni.nl: Idlers " dp upenn.edu advertising " dp.upenn.edu Display and Classified Advertising ■•> be placed ai theabova addraaa Office hours: Monday Friday. 9 a.m. 5 p.m Nubst iiptions in P:, /luilu PeHnsulixtniun may he ordered lor $200 peracadomu scat Suhs, ripliim, in < ynnsufixiniu'i may be ordered for S35 per academic yeai D lt»6 ThrD.nlv Peiinsslvaiiiaii. lm.
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Thursday. December 5.19%
CAMPUS
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Health System grows throughout region UI'HS from page 1 health care, especially toward man aged care Kelley. who also serves as dean of the Medical School, explained that the original acquisitions began with a physician oriented strategy. This involved the formation of a primary care physician network, multi-specialty satellite facilities and a management service organization to support physicians who are not directly in the system. Kelley said. But the Health System then began to look toward more institutional relationships — those with other regional hospitals. The system has continued its connection with its core affiliates, in eluding the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and the Veterans Af (airs Medical Center — relationships that began long before 1993. But to fulfill its goal of being a
"model health care delivery system." Kelley explained that "we have to have relationships with community hospitals The system must be "identified the healthiest hospitals with the best reputations." Kelley added. The Health System is now contractually affiliated with five community hospitals, with a sixth expected to join that list soon. This contractual relationship al lows the institutions to "collaborate on other specific clinical and edu cational endeavors," according to a statement from the Health System. In 1995, the system took on full ownership of Presbyterian Hospital. And in the last two months, the system signed letters of intent to buy both Phoenixville Hospital and Pennsylvania Hospital. After the system signed its letter reagrding Phoenixville Hospital.
spokesperson Lori Doyle said the relationships Penn was developing will help to create "an integrativc health care delivery system " That delivery system would allow all the patients in managed care programs within the Health System to be treated and hospitalized in their own communities. Doyle explained. With thoughts of further expansion. Kelley explained that "everything we do has more risk, but the biggest risk is to not do anything." Five years ago. the Medical Center chose to move forward, instead of Staying with the status quo. That derision has led to record patient admissions within the system, BCCOrding tO Kelley But he added that the system doesn't plan to continue its expansion just to become the biggest system of its type Kelley said he wants the system to be "just big enough to be the best
1 word: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious SCRABBLE from page 1 triple-word scores and seven-letter tongue twisters with local professionals at a Scrabble Club in Exton. Pa. And looking even further ahead he sees visions of the big league: the New York City Scrabble Club, where cash prizes await. If he ever gets there. Bufort might land a prize himself. While he was more involved in other activities as an undergraduate at Rutgers Universi ty — like the bowling club and College Democrats — he spent plenty of time getting to know his Scrabble board while "drifting" for two years after graduation. But he remains modest about his skills, explaining he "hasn't really had time to develop them." And while he can recite the number of acceptable two-letter words — about 96 — and three-letter of words — 997 — off the top of his head, he feels he MM, mifflS,.1111',IJ.ill I.1JITT7T
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could "study more with the tools." such as word lists and rule books dis tributed by the National Scrabble Association. Nonetheless, he has high hopes for his members, like Jelenick. who he says has "a feverish talent." He also hails his less polished players "with good strategy and good vo cab. but who haven't really stud ied, learned all the two letter words ' Once they put in the effort, he said. they can become really hot. They can really mop the floor with people " In fact, Bufort is confident such po tential Scrabble wizzes abound at Penn. "A lot of students here are really good with words." he said, citing, for example, "the bio people." "They know weird bio words." Buford added. "It's kind of cool." It's exactly these would-be players who Bufort hopes to cultivate to ensure a future for the club at Penn
Campus Events NOTICE
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
CAMPUS EVENTS ire listed daily as a paid public service to the University of Pennsylvania, and are administered tor the University by The Daily Pennsylvanian There is no charge to University-affiliated groups for listings of FREE events
HANUKKAH PARTY lor everyone in the Greek sysiom Free latkes. donuts. and holiday drinks' Join us on Thursday at 5 30PM al 3938 Delancey Street
HANNUKAH PARTV tor Jew.sh ' il. Gay and Lesbian stu.ind their friends Center City locatKXi 7 30 PM E semannOsas upenn edu www sas upenn edu (bgl htm lot date .
FREE ACOUSTIC Concert and Coffee Office of Student Life Acpresents Christine Kane Saturn . -pm Houston Room
Listings may be mailed to. or placed m person at. The Daily Pennsylvanian 4015 Walnut St 9am to 5 p m . Monday - Friday Listings may be submitted electronically from the 'Feedback" section of the DP Online Web site (http www dp upenn edu) Listings are not accepted by phone 25 word limit, maximum of 2 days per event Submission deadline is 3pm 2 business days in advance The Daily Pennsylvanian reserves the right to edit listings according to space limitations
THURSDAY A PRAYER for Th-t Smmor Discussion spot' aarian Universalists on Campus 7p m 3rd Floor Chapel. Christian Association. 3601 Locust Walk Refreshments AH are welcome
once he graduates in May. "We need young blood, freshmen, to keep the club alive." he
COME TO Amnesty International's final event of the semester Tonight at 8 p m in room 2315 in High Rise East
Only then can the club achieve the future he forsees for it. a "great BO cial hangout that will spill over into other colleges Bufort envisions Scrabble clubs starting and rivalries being created at other Ivy League schools. "I live for the day the club I founded will kick some Harvard Scrabble ass." he said. Therefore, he encourages all stu dents to seek that greater challenge and join the Scrabble Club. And since the group suffers frequent board shortages, he adds "bring one. if you have one. "We have a BYOB policy — Bring Your Own Board." he noted. The Scrabble Club meets in Van Pelt's Woody Room at 7 p.m. on Sundays and 8:30 p.m. on Wednesdays.
■EARLY MORNING prayers" at the Christian Association. Thursday 8 00am - 8 55am Conversational prayer and personal sharing Previous prayer experience not required 3601 Locust Walk 3861530
said
SUMMER INTERNSHIPS' Gerry Isom of CIGNA Corporation discuses positions available & speaks of Economic Financial & Strategies December 5 7p m 8p m 209 SH-DH
LEARN KARATE1 Penn Sholokan Karate Club trams Tuesdays & Thursdays 7 30-9pm English House Class of 38 Lounge No experience necessary For more information, call Zena 417-8538 "SISTER CIRCLE " An experience of ritual, meditation, and discussion lor thinking women o* spirit Thursday, noon at The Christian Association. 3601 Locust Walk 386-1530 SITAR AND Tabla Class Concert Thursday. December 5th Houston Hall Auditorium 5 30p m -7 30p m Refreshments THE PENN Singers will be performing Bngadoon December 5th. 6th and 7th at 8 00pm in the Annenberg School Theater Come see men wear short skirts THE POLITICS of Motherhood Discussion and Book Signing by Dr Torn Bowers Everyone is cordially invited. 12 0596 12 151 30p m Class ol 1938 Lounge Kings Court/Enghsn House ReIreshments served Information 417-7264898-2530
FRIDAY BUDDHIST MEDITATION 1-2pm Every Friday Baomnars encouraged to attend AH laims welcome' Christian Association Chapel 3601 Locust Walk Chairs and Zen benches provided
ICE SKATING' Free admission with PennCard lor Midnight - 2a m at the Class of 1923 Ice Rmk Skate Rental $1 50 PennBus transport after PENN ICE Skating 2 OOp m -3 30p m at Class ol 23 nnk. downstairs entrance Call Joel at 387-5261 for information -RISE AND shine clean, mind' A book study of "women chuich' at The Christian Association Friday 7 45am - 8 45am 3601 Locust W,i NSE classes are hek) Fridays 6 00-7 30pm Hutchinson Gymnasium basement mat area AH interested in |Oining in. do Club are encouraged lo attend SPEC CONCERTS Presents Morphine with the Disco Biscuits Irvine Auditorium i34th & Spruce) Doors open at 7 30p m Admission Free with Penn ID VFRICAN Studies Center Presents A Discussion with Ron Kassimir Africa Program SSRC on "The SSRC and Area-Based Research" 12 00 Noon 421 Wil"alt THE UN '.oral Society and Wind Ensemble perform Cariijrana plus music by Stra-. and Gabneh. 12 6 8 00pm Church of the Savior. 38th and Chestnut Free 898-6244 TURKISH STUDENTS Association invites you to their Coffee Hour in Houston Hall White Bishop, between 5 00 and 7 30pm Come soo.i
JEWISH GRADS' Come celebrate Chanukah- the Festival .' at the Boat House Row B tenhouse Hotel No cover and yeciais 9 30pm Questions call 898-6451 PENN GOSPEL Choir .nvrtes aH to our free Winter Concert Saturday Oecember 7 at the Tabernacle Umtod Church 3700 Chestnut 7 30PM Praise the Lord'
SUNDAY BREW YOUR Own Bei" - Home Sweet Homebrew aid Alpha Phi Delta s beer brewing seminar" Sample batch brewed 2pm-4pm Smith Peniman Room Houston hall HANDEL S MESSIAH SingAlong Join mombers of the University Choral society on Sunday 12 8.96 8 00pm at Cathedral Church ol the Savior. 38th and Chestnut Free 898 6244 MAKE AND break bread with us at the Christian Association s ecumenical worship service Sunday 12 8 5 00pm 3601 Locust Walk SKATING PARTY 10 30pm - 1am Free admission Music, games, refreshments prizes Free rental for first 100 19. • e from Quad Sponsored by SPEC
OFFICIAL WORKSHOP TO address coping with an alcohoii; parent during the holidays Open to ail students CAPS- 2nd floor Mellon Bank Bldg Tuesday. December 10 5630pm
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Thursday. December 5, 1996
CAMPUS
P«g» 4 The Daily Pennsylvania*!
Grant helps link U. to community
DOUBLE SENIOR SCREAMER Friday, December 6th Part I:
FIRST FRIDAY IN OLDE CITY (between 2nd 8c 4th, Race & Market) Art Galleries are open and they're FREE) 5:00 - 9:00 pm
By Stephanie Cooperman The Dally Pennsytvanian
A grant from the W.K. Kellogg Foundation has allowed the University to boost its involvement in city and community activities this semester. The grant — which will total $500,000 in the next three years — will link intellectual resources with community needs in three areas: culture and community studies, environment and nutrition and health. Knglish Professor Peter Conn, Center for Environmental Studies Director Robert Giegengack, a Geology professor, and Anthropology Professor Francis Johnston are the faculty leaders of the three programs. "This Igrantl is important because it enables undergraduates and faculty members to undertake signifi cant academic work and help make contributions to the community." said Ira Harkavy. director of the Center for Community Partnerships, which supervises programs the grant will fund. The Kellogg Foundation had noti fied colleges and universities that it would be willing to support efforts to involve students with their surrounding communities. In response.
Harkavy and College of Arts and Sci ences Dean Robert Rescorla applied for the grant. So far, the Kellogg award has gone to purchase research tools, support education in neighboring schools, enable the development of new courses that involve the community and award fellowships to undergraduate and graduate students. "This is a really exciting opportunity to promote undergraduate research and make improvements in the community," said Penny Gordon-Larsen. a University administrator who oversees the day to day activities the grant hu.s sponsored. Currently, nine students work un der fellowships provided by the grant. College junior Karalyn Stanley has used the funds allotted to her to continue an environmental education program she began last semester at West Philadelphia's Shaw Middle School. "The grant has given me a great opportunity." Stanley said. "I am al lowed to put a lot more time into the program to make it beneficial... It has given me a lot of freedom that 1 can run with." As program director. Stanley supervises eight classes for Shaw stu-
dents that promote environmental awareness. ()i her programs the grant has supported range from the development of school-based community newspapers and magazines to nutrition work at Turner Middle School that will even tually improve the school lunch pro gram. (iordon I.arsen hopes to share in formation generated by grant programs through a national conference so "people from around the country can see what we have accomplished' Harkavy emphasized that grant funded work doesn't mark the be ginning of the University's community outreach, but rather a continuation. He said Penn has already been recognized as a national leader of urban school involvement, pointing to the West Philadelphia Improvement Corps, which ties Penn students and faculty with neighborhood centers of learning, as an example of why Kel logg gave the grant to the University"The grant helps to reconfirm Penn's work as significant and important." Harkavy said. "It shows do ing good and doing well can be joined together."
Teacher convicted on drug charges
Part II:
JAKE & OLIVER'S
The Associated
("THS*
PHILADELPHIA — A physics teacher convicted of smoking crack cocaine in his classroom has been sentenced to a year's probation and will lose his job Caleb Jackson. 41. who has been suspended by the school district without pay. was found guilty Tuesday of drug possession and related charges stemming from his smoking break May :t at Benjamin Franklin High School. School district spokesperson William Epstein said the district will
22nd South 3rd Street (between Market and Chestnut) 9:30 pm NO COVER & DRINK SPECIALS!!
move to dismiss Jackson as a result of his conviction. The idea of a teacher using crack while in school was "disturbing and very disgusting." Judge Ronald Mer riweather said during the sentencing. "We tell our young people to look up to role models, such as teachers, and you were in there, smoking poison that's wiping out the community," Merriweather said. He threatened to send Jackson to jail but ordered an on-the-spot drug test.
A court probation officer was summoned to bring a drug-test kit and court was adjourned while Jackson took the test, which he passed. Merriweather said he saw little good in sending the teacher to jail and gave him probation instead, or dering him to spend 120 hours counseling others addicted to drugs and to undergo further drug testing "I have a problem, and I dealt with the problem," Jackson said. "I want ed to get help.... As far as the people I affected. I'm deeply sorry."
U. will handle leasing for 3401 Walnut WALNUT from page 1
Last Screamer of the semester!!
The same team will be responsible for planning retail reprogram ming across campus. This reprogramming will encompass retail within Houston Hall. 40th Street and the Sansom Commons — the upscale retail district to be centered around the new Barnes & No-
ble bookstore. "We want a holistic approach to our retail programming." Rodin said. While University administrators want to create retail with a single "look and feel." the Walnut Street re tail will aim to "rehumanize" the area — in conjunction with a plan to enhance, renovate and improve the north end of campus. Fry said.
But shops in the 40th Street mall — which the University acquired from Smokey Joe's owner Paul Ryan in 1990 — will be more service-ori ented, in accordance with a program to revitalize the west end of cam pus "There will be different gears of retail, but they will all relate to each other." Fry said.
The Public Policy and Management Department and the Gross Public Management Fellowship Program Public Policy Forum Series Presents
Arlen Specter U.S. Senator u
Disintegration of the American Political Center"
Thursday, December 5, 1996 4:30-6:00 P.M. 350 Steinberg Hall-Dietrich Hall Reception to follow at the Stock Exchange located on the ground floor of Steinberg Hall-Dietrich Hall
Thursday, December 5,1996
CAMPUS
The D,i
p
Little formal interaction links Drexel, U. DREXEL from page 1 building in mid November, Penn officials began to reconsider the program At that time, VPUL Valarie Swain Cade McCoullum said the administration was being neigh borly by allowing Drexel students to stay in the building. She expressed outrage over the students' actions. Since the incident, administra tors have decided not to expel any Drexel students from the building, causing tension between some stu dents. College sophomore Christina Varughese called the relationship •not good" and added that the administration should do more to encourage interaction. "I personally feel a lot of hostility towards Drexel students — and I don't know why," Varughese said. "I'm surprised we don't do a lot to gether considering we're only a block apart." And College sophomore Amanda Reyes said she never sees her old high school friends who attend Drexel. She added that Penn's proximity to Drexel should increase cooperation between the two schools. Yet Reyes said many Penn students have no desire to interact with Drexel students. "I know a lot of people here tend to look down on Drexel," she said I don't know if that's just an Ivy League thing." Varughese noted that her hostility toward Drexel students stems from what she perceives as a lack of ap-
preciation on Drexel's behalf. She said she believes Drexel stu dents and officials should have been more appreciative toward Penn for il.s efforts in arranging President Clin ton's on-campus rally in early November. But Rodin said the Clinton event was a good example of how well the schools can work together "We worked very hard to include Drexel and make them feel that it was their event too," she said Drexel's Terranova also said the voter registration drive — as well as the Clinton rally — was an ex cellent example of the cooperation that can occur between the two schools. "There again you had a show of solidarity with the two schools' presidents together on the stage and students from both Penn and Drexel speaking," Terranova said. "There was a large number of Drexel students there and it was a great opportunity to share resources." Another political function involv ing the two universities was MTV's "Choose or Lose" campaign in University City in September As preparations for the event were underway, many Penn administra tors said arrangements were diffi cult to coordinate because of scheduling and communication prob lems between the two schools. And funding the event also caused tension Rodin decided the university should not fund the event and thai funding should be left up to Perm ~ Social Planning and Events Com mittee. "I think we pick and choose the
events that require involvement." Rodin said. "We were asked at a rather late hour for financial assi-, tance. I hope that we provided moral support." Rodin added that although she decided not to support the event financially, she did get involved by getting students to register on Lo cust Walk SPEC Treasurer (iil Beverly, a Wharton senior, said he has had pos itive experiences working with Drexel students — especially in organizing the Choose or Lose event "Contrary to popular belief — apparently we have a pretty good relationship with Drexel." Bevcr ly said. "SPEC really enjoyed work ing with Drexel's Campus Activities Board and we left that event promising to work together again." Beverly added that SPEC and Drexel's Campus Activities Board will probably co sponsor an event tied in to the Drexel vs. Penn basketball game next semester. They have also talked about joint ly coordinating a concert, Beverly said
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EDITORIAL A OPINION
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Page 6
An impressive pilot program The light-up effort that began with the 4100 block of Pine Street should be broadened. The pilot street-lighting program that debuted Tuesday on the 4100 block of Pine Street represents the best of what can happen when private sector funding meets public sector initiative. The Philadelphia Electric Company paid for the improvements on Pine. But city and other officials are so enthusiastic about the positive effects of sidewalk lighting that the University and four local landlords have committed a total of $25,000 to the project. In the coming months, these funds will be used to reimburse 50 percent of the costs incurred by area residents who want to upgrade the lighting on their blocks Cost per light per year of electricity should be about Si a month, hardly a steep price to pay for peace of mind. While the street-lighting program is just a pilot, it is one way the landlords who serve many students in University City can demonstrate their real and continuing con-
cern for their tenants and for West Philadelphia's future vitality. Expanding the pilot program would also undoubtedly hearten the Greeks living on Walnut Street between 38th and 41st streets, who have been clamoring for more and better lighting for two years. And it would demonstrate the depth of the University "s commitment to the livability of the area west of 40th Street. To reduce costs, blocks are being asked to work together on light installation. Encouraging such cooperation pushes students to meet their neighbors and generates mutual attachment to and pride in the neighborhood, all of which help to deter crime and improve quality of life. Still, the onus is on neigh borhood landlords to begin putting their money into property improvements from which all community members can benefit, like these new sidewalk lights.
Be a DP columnist! We re oorung lor dOou* "ten* Jerri, waa-iooken. opraonated. mereatJn| peo oK to M*je We BHxMMy columns or rrte page ne
136 tor more •tformation Or pet, oi.crt.or at 'imp www dp.upenn erx Op ooiumnapps apprcatton htmlDeaohne January 7.199
LETTERS
Hate's assault on reason A plague on both your houses!" were Mercutio's dying words in the film version of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Hatred between two families resulted in his mortal wounding, and before he died Mercutio cursed both families for causing so much suffering The two families happened to be the Montagues and the Capulets. but the hate they generated could have come from any two families, groups or individuals History is filled with hate between "houses." Countries, races and people have historically hated each other since the beginning of time. World wars have occurred because of hate. Civil wars are created by hate Billions of people have died because of hate. Mike War crimes tribunals have reLiskey taliated with hate. And God is The Road said to be on the side of those Less Traveled who hate most efficiently ^^^^^^^^^™ Anger is so easily justified as a necessity, hate is often rationalized as justice But isn't hate, regardless of how it's euphemized. still hate'' Can degrees of hate be measured0 Would suffering caused by the Ku Klux Wan or the Black Student League differ'' Do the crucified and the lynched feel a difference? Hate is an evil, negative energy that empowerindividuals to feel superior, not equal. Destruction, not harmony, is its end result. Hate is like the "dark side of the force" in the Star Wars movies — and in ways similar to Luke Skywalker, the young.
Preserving one's own culture To the Editor 1 am writing in response to the predominately negative vievra that have appeared in the DP regarding racial -ed campus housing, specifically W E B DuBois College House The letters and columns like MDD "The negative) pantttm" uOP. 11/21/96) overlook the many pi i ltive opportunities that housing for different cultural groups can provide I know the benefits of being able to spend time with people who share your cult i. .illy during our first :i Australia, my family and 1 often got the company of other Amen •-i i discuss things we missed about home and to share our thoughts about the .i '. istralian culture that to us. By associating with other Amen- w wen not rejecting Australians or their culture These gatherings just helped us to come to terms with it Being part of a group of Americans also us the opportunity to celebrate our own culture, whether we wen sharing Thanksgiving dinner or throwing Super How! poiltoi If it not possible that the presence of DuBois offers .African Americans similar opporturu to strengthen their own culture while exploring others" There an? many differences between my experiences as an expatriate and thuM .if African Americans at Perm 4 living in a society dominated by a culture differ ent from mine Knowing the impor lance of associating with people who shared my culture while living in Aus traha. 1 understand why many African An.. el this need Spending time with people of j i ur ownculti. --ential part of discovering what that culture consututes — of what makes it different from, as
well as similar to. other cultures I was not looked down upon for choosing to spend time with other .Americans while in Australia The same should apply to African Americans and all groups of different backgrounds who choose to associate together at Perm If certain people choose to live, eat play, sleep or watch the Super Bowl together, that is their business. Rather than wasting time contemplating ways to "dilute the presence of racial groups on campus, we should be focusing our efforts on improving their opportunities to thrive in Penn's community If that means providing specialized housing, so be it Katrin Fraser College 00
Living together To the Editor White people! Where are you0 I can't see you Why must you sepa rate yourselves'' I need to see more white faces in the East .Asia House and the Latin American LivingLearning program in High Rise East .And heaven knows I can't find you in W E B Du Bois College House Isn't it evident that by isolating yourselves in the Quad and in Hill you are not taking full advantage of the diversity we have on campus1 Expand your horizons You've been emersed in European culture all your life How about a new experience-' Come live with us We won't bite Mayhaps we'd all get along and everything would be happy, happy, joy. joy' Imagine' Don't be afraid Come on Mingle Cornelius Adetiba Engineering '99
POLICY ON SUBMISSIONS The CM*, Pennsver>an .wornes a«i»ner«5 rrom me jra»«rvt» ' «Rers 10 me eoaor Uneeywd erjt, «» -ecesft the cow o* The Den* Pannayfcajnejrv 41 other coejrrwia. leners and erfvrorv rapeesent tne oerans of thee authors and ere comcMKr independent. o»trw •I 4J «Oer» euomrneo tor pufcanrx muet rouoe me author > name prior* M^» end a aetenptor o» Un*a«s*> afflhaDon Letter* enouKI De hoed and snorter men 300 nor* The Oar, Permed—fen reeanae she nght lo erjt tetters and columns
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Countries, races and people have historically hated each other since the beginning of time. slinky looking hero in Star Wars, I continually feel the pull of the "dark side." The wind blowing through campus seems to call out, in that deep, Darth Vader-esque, gasping-for-air type of voice, Mike, come to the dark side." I resist but still feel the strength of the "dark side of the force" here. Like the smog in Los Angeles, it seems to close in around me — suffocating, choking, blackening my insides with the pollution of hate. It tightens my neck, pains my back and clenches my jaw. It divides my attention and drains energy away from my body. I try to escape by car, but no freeway goes far enough. Hate is usually produced in those large polluted factories known as government and political Institutions. They control our lives by assembling and releasing their product of hate upon the world It trickles down the social classes until, like a cartoonish snowball, it becomes overwhelmingly large and destructive. Governments and administrations perpetuate hate by withholding limited resources and making the people who would receive them believe they are nothing without these resources. Like starving dogs fighting for a bone, people hate to secure their share of these limited resources, generously thrown out by their master, the "haves." These "haves" create the illusion that the only
resources are these limited resources that are thrown among the people to divide A new level of "haves" and "have nots" is created within the dis 11 lusii ini-d world of the "have nots." At this contnu-'l level, hate runs rampant as people are reduced to animals, fighting for what the hate factor ■ they must have. Without these "necessities." peo pie are made to feel naked and vulnerable And when the human spirit feels vulnerable, it must put on the strongest armor available — that made of hate. So strong is this material that it pro tects and shields from the deadly weapons of fair ness, logic and critical thinking. These three weapons allow individuals to exist beyond their personal comfort zones; without them, the self can't exist in the broader world. As Buffalo Springfield sang, "There's battle linebeing drawn. Nobody's right, if everybody's wrong." Our society creates nothing but hateful battle lines; unfortunately, everybody believes these artificial lines are right and must be observed, maintained and enforced Turn to your left and you will see a Montague, turn to your right and you will see a Ca pulet. Everywhere, there is a different "house" and we are all divided, each "house" loving to hate and hating to love. I must risk giving away the ending to Romeo and Juliet by saying that most people won't un derstand how widespread hate is until their own hate has killed their capacity to love I join with Mercutio and echo his parting words. "A plague on both your houses'" Mike Uskey is a first year student in the Graduate School of Education from Los Angeles. Calif. The Road Less Traveled appeared alternate Thursdays.
The challenge of new traditions The fall semester is coming to a close; I can hardly believe my senior year is half finished Chanukah is here and the other winter celebra'ions will soon be upon us. While wondering where the time has gone. I remember the be ginning of the school year — moving into the Quad, anticipating the arrival of my hall of fresh men and preparing for my final year as an undergraduate at Penn My first official act as an Miranda Resident Advi Salomon sor was making Notes From name signs for TheUlypaa the doors of my "^■" hall Since I spent the summer in Washington, D C . I decided to use picture postcards from the National Gallery of Art as decorations I thought I would use only painted portraits of individuals, matching the sexes of the in coming students and the subjects of the paintings. I selected works representing a variety of artists and styles But when I returned to my apartment to match postcards to the names I had been given. I realized all of the por traits were of white people — and my hall is ethnically diverse I WOT ried about alienating these fresh men on their very first day at Penn I didn't want to offend them, but how could I know who would be sensitive and who would automatically understand that there are simply no portraits of people of color in tr i tional Gallery0 Part of Penn's appeal is its sense of tradition After all. what is the Ivy League but a club of schools that have had good reputations for a really long time1 But if you look at the photographs inside Houston Hall, you'll find that for Penn's first 200 plus , years the "tradition" was white, male
and predominantly Christian. While the numbers of those of us who don't fit the mold are higher than ever, it s still a hard image to shake. In May. if you stick around for Alumni Weekend and have a look at our alums, you'll see that diversity at Penn is still a fairly new concept. While it's common for new students to feel out of place, it's often an even harder adjustment for those who don't fit the prototype — the wealthy, white, prep-school kid from the East or West Coast College is a big enough "new experience" for many that they seek the company of others like themselves rather than attempting to meet a vaneV, of people With the amount of self-separation that happens at all levels, it's easy for the majority to forget about the feelings of the minority groups. How many of the people who loudlv protest the existence of WEB. DuBois Col lege House have actually spent substantial time as part of an underrepresented group0 Since late August. I have heard land seen) sexism, racism, homophobia and sheer ignorance — all on my own hallway of 29 students. One incident, which included racial name-calling, misunderstanding and threats on both sides, nearly snowballed into an unmanagable problem While talking to my residents about appropriate language. I was amazed to discover that many members of the Class of 2000 have never heard of the infamous "water buffalo'' episode (Refresher It occurred in January 1993. when a student was nearly expelled for allegedly leaning out his high rise window and telling a loud group of women to "Shut up. you black water buffalo'' in an effort to quiet them down I Penn may have survived the wa ter buffalo ' incident, but the lesson has had no lasting impact on cam pus People still aren't careful and clear when they speak. They forget that we don't live in a vacuum Only sometimes does anyone bother to say. "You can't say it that way
Hnem laHlman The Daily Pe
anymore " But the status quo has changed We can't make assumptions about the "typical" Penn student Words can do damage; symbols can do worse. I solved my personal, compara lively minor postcard problem by go ing beyond the National Gallery 1 supplemented my collection with works from the Sackler Gallery (Asian art), the Freer Gallery (world wide collection i and the Museum of .African Art. My predominantly European assortment gained a sub stantial dash of color When matching students names
to paintings, I acted at random, sort ing postcards by sex only. Even though few of my residents took more than peripheral notice of the name signs, I'm glad I made the effort. No one was upset by my decoration choices I even got to explore some new museums and learn something about art that wasn't produced by members of the establishment I con sider u time well spent. Miranda Salomon is a senior English and Theatre Arts major from Bellmore, N V \ofes From the Lilypad appeared alternate Thursdays.
Thursday, December 5.1996
CAMPUS
Top Clinton advisor to teach at Columbia The Associated Prw* NEW YORK George Stephanopoulos, one of President Clinton's closest advisers, said yesterday he will teach political science at Columbia University after leaving the White House early next year. "It's the right time to take a break," Stephanopoulos said at a news conference at the university. He said Clinton "has been very supportive." Stephanopolous will be a visiting professor on a two-year appointment beginning in January But he will not begin classroom work until the fall, when he plans to lead a seminar, to be followed in the spring of 1998 by a lecture class. "I hope I can communicate some of the things I learned back to the students," said Stephanopoulos, a graduate of the Ivy League school. "I wanted to help another generation of students feel excited about politics." He said he also intends to do television work and write a book, although he offered no specifics. He has been negotiating with television
networks to become an oc casional on-air commentator, and also plans to make speeches. Stephano)oulos, 35. whose service to Clinton dates the Stephanopolous 1992 tocam paign, made it known before Clinton's re-election that he would not serve in a second term. Stephanopoulos started at the White House as communications di rector, but soon moved out of the spotlight to an office next to the Oval Office and continued as one of the president's most trusted aides. His knack for balancing policy and politics made Stephanopoulos one of Clinton's most trusted advisers. Considered a member of the administration's liberal wing, his stock fell after Republicans gained control of Congress in 1994
Pag* 7
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P«C« 8 The Daily Pennsylvania^ NEWS BRIEFS
WORLD
Boutros-Ghali suspends candidacy
Grenade blast kills seven in Kashmir SRINAGAR, India A grenade exploded at a public rally for a newly elected communist lawmaker yesterday, killing seven people and injuring 40. Police blamed Kashmiri militants, but there was no claim of responsi bility and no arrests wire made The lawmaker. Mohammed Yusuf Tarigami. escaped with only bnns es. He said militants fired gunshots and then hurled a grenade after he bid goodbye to the 4.000 strong crowd in Kulgam. 45 miles south ofSrinagar, summer capital of Jammu Kashmir state.
The U.N. Secretary-General opened the way for new nominees in response to U.S. opposition. UNITED NATH INS Faced with unrelenting U.S. opposition. U.N. Secretary-General Boutros Boutins Ghali suspended his candidacy for a second term yesterday, opening the way for new nominees for the top U.N. post. Boutros-Ghali emphasized he still remains an official candidate, howBV8T, and supporters were said to be urging the Egyptian diplomat to stay in the race. The United States cast the lone veto against him in a first
round vote in the is memberSecuri
Mother Theresa's health improves CALCUTTA. India Mother Ten sa took a few halting steps in her room yesterday for the first time since she was hospitalized two weeks ago with a heart problem, and doctors said she may be allowed to return home this weekend "Her overall situation is better to day." Dr. Tarun Praharaj. one of the doctors attending to the 86 year-old Roman Catholic nun at the B M Bir la Research Center, said yesterday evening
Palestinian shot to death in prison JERICHO. West Bank — A jail guard has been arrested and faces charges for allegedly shooting and killing a Palestinian detainee who had been held for almost two yean without trial. The victim. Rashid Fityani. is the 10th Palestinian detainee killed byYasser Arafat's security forces since the start of self-rule in the West Bank and Gaza Strip in May 1994 MONEY Dow Jones Industrials: Close Change High Low NYSE Composite Nasdaq Amex S4P500 S&P Industrials 30-yr. T Bond
Thursday. December 5,1996
Associated Press
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ty Council on November 19 Tin still a candidate and still the only candidate for Africa," Boutins (Shah* said, adding he was merely ask mg the Security Council not to vote in mi my name until I will pre sent my name" again In Washington. White House spokesjiersiin .lames Fetig welcomed
Boutros Ghali's move, saying that will allow for other well-qualified African candidates to be forwarded to the U.N. Security Council for consideration." By U.N. tradition. Africa should get two consecutive terms for its representative as secretary-general. The United States, however, announced last July that it would veto Boutros Ghali's re-election, claiming he had not been vigorous in pursuing reform. His supporters say the Clin ton administration was bowing to pressure from conservative Republicans in Congress, many of them philosophically opposed to the United Nations as a challenge to U.S. sovereignty Security Council President Francesco Paolo Fulci said he expected African countries to submit names ol alternative African candi-
dates to the Security Council, possl bly as early as Friday. That would be followed by a series of straw polls next week to winnow out weaker can didates. Some U.N. sources, speaking on condition ol anony nnly. said sup porters in FJurope and elsewhere were encouraging Boutros Ghali to stay in the ran as a possible compromise if other Africans fail to win enough support A European diplomat character ized the decision as a face-saving move by Boutros (ihali. By removing his name from active < onsideration. Boutros (ihali would not have to see his support dwindle in a M ries of Security Council votes By remaining an official candidate. however. Boutros (Jhali conceivably could revive his candidacy if no one else wins broad support. A senior US official, speaking on condition of anonymity, drew a com parison with the council voting in 1981, when Tanzanian front-runner
Salim A. Sahm suspended bis candidacy in the face of a U.S. veto The council ultimately selected
Javier Perez deCueOar as secretary general The natural process ol breaking the logjam has continued," the U.S. official said. "There has now been (ft idcnc e nl a desire on the part ol some African states tO select a different person. "As far as the United States is concerned, we consider it a natural next step that will allow us to choose a new secretary general." the official said Boutros-Ghali won 14 of the 15 council votes November 19. But as one of the five permanent memi the United States has veto power in the Security Council, along with (hi na. Russia, France and Britain Fuld said no other candidates had been officially submitted to the coun cil. Council diplomats, speaking on condition of anonymity, said at least
three African countries <;hana. Ivory Coast and Niger — indie they intended to put forth candidates \ Undersecretary raj Kofi Annan of Ghana, he the UN peacekeeping operation; for HUT Nigerian Prune Minister Hi Algabid secretary general of the 1igani/atinnotllie islamic ('onion and the ivory ( oast foreign minister Amara El
i ongolese Ambassador Daniel Ainiii. who is chairman ol the A Group at the United Nations, said he
expected a de< ision to emei ,i meeting of French and Africai heads ol state In Burkina Faso this week The U.S. battle to unseat Bon Ghali has stirred such animosity that mans diplomats say a U.S. end<
menl would scuttle any candidate The council must chooa taiy general and forward the DAI the 18S member General Assembly tor ratification before Boutros Ghali term expires December 31.
Pathfinder begins mission to Mars The interplanetary rover blasted off for a sevenmonth journey yesterday. CAPE CANAVERAL. Ha.— A space craft earning the first ever interplanetary rover rocketed away yesterday on a 310 million mile journey to Mars that should end with a bounce next Inde pendence Day. Mars Pathfinder began its sevenmonth trip at 1:58 a.m. two days late because of bad weather and computer trouble. A crescent moon and a bright reddish speck. Mars, were clearly visible as the unmanned rocket lifted off with the probe. An hour later. Pathfinder shot out of Earth orbit as planned and hurtled to ward the Red Planet at more than 23,000 mph. Launch controllers cheered and applauded. It is like a friend going away. But it is a good feeling because that was the ultimate goal.' said Cheick Diarra. an interplanetary navigator at the Jet
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Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif. I'athfinder is the second probe that NASA has launched to Mars in the past month The Global Surveyor took off on Nov. 7. the first of 10 U.S. spacecraft to be sent to Mars over the next decade in hopes of determining whether life ever existed there.A spacecraft launched to Mars one week later by the Russians plummeted from orbit, adding to scientists' anxiety over Pathfinder. If all goes well. Pathfinder should beat the slower Global Surveyor to Mars by two months, landing on July 4. 1997. It would be the first time in 21 years that a spacecraft has landed on Mars But there's never been an entrance like this. The 1196 million Pathfinder, hailed by NASA as a new-wave bargain spacecraft will aim for an ancient flood plain strewn with rocks. It will be a direct strike — no going into orbit first around the planet, a la the Apollo moon landings or the Viking probes.
KNIGHT RIDDER TRIBUNE
The Delta II rocket carrying the Mars Pathfinder lifted off on time early yesterday morning from Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida.
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Thursday. December 5,1996
WORLD
Associated Press
Page 9
Court approves new South African constitution Nelson Mandela is expected to sign the document, one of the most liberal in the world. JOHANNESBl K(i. South Africa — A new constitution guaranteeing equal rights in Souttl Africa iiul outlawing capital punishment finally won approval yesterday from the Consti tutional Court. President Nelson Mandela is a pectcd to sign the ISO page constttu lion, one ol the most liberal in the world, into law on December 10 — International Human Rights Day The signing ceremonj was sched uled for the black township of Sharpeville. site of a 1960 police mas sacre of 69 blacks protesting
apartheid-era pass laws Mohamed Valli Moosa, Mandi provincial affairs minister, said Sharpeville. south of Johannesburg, was chosen for the signing i» < a the i960 massacre "marked a nvw era m the struggle for liberation" Sharpeville is also part of the town of Vereeniging, where a peace I ending the Anglo Boer war in 1002 set up the borders of present day Si mi ii Africa The new constitution Include! I
Bill of Rights that pro)
rights
and guarantees equal rights for all. a
in ay from the discrimination and repression ol the apartheid era Mandela and Ms governing African National Congress have bailed the constitution as a symbol of South \lnc.i - new working democracy and a law tor all its people, whatever race or gender In rejecting the fust version n| the charter on September 6, the Const! tutional Court cited mostly minor. technical problems but also ruled the constitution failed to give BUffi dent power to provincial govern ments That issue had caused 1 he Zulu na tionaiisl inkatha Freedom Party to walk out of the Constitutional As -embly. winch comprised Parliament
members elected in the nation ■ brsl all raei'vote in 1994 Inkatha wanted strong provincial powers to avoid dominance by the national government, led by Man dela's ANC Other parties like the white led National Party that ruled under apartheid said the only way an ethnically diverse country like South Mm a could survive was by preventing too much central control and pro 11 i ting minority rights. But the ANC used its strength to push the new constitution through the assembly in May. Alter the court rejected the first version, Inkatha took part in some mbh sessions and held talks with the ANC hut eventually dropped out
again, saying its demands were being ignored Mandela's ANC and Inkatha have been fierce rivals for years, with thou sands Of their supporters dying in political violence in the traditional Zulu homeland of KwaZulu Natal province. Inkatha wants to protect its power base in KwaZulu Natal and prevent what it calls eradication of Zulu culture by the ANC The ANC accuses Inkatha of being undemocratic and seeking autocratic powers in the province The new consitution prohibits discrimination on the basis of sexual ori entation, meaning that, in principle, gay marriages would be allowed
Hawaii judge puts same-sex marriage order on hold HONOLULU - A day after issuing
the first ruling In American historj that allows gay marriages, a judge put the effects ol his decision on hold while the state appeals to Hawaii's Supreme Court. The stay will remain in effect until a ruling by the state's highest court. which ruled in 1993 that Hawaii's ban is unconstitutional unless the state could show a compelling government interest in preventing gay marriages Circuit Judge Kevin Chang agreed there would be confusion if gay couples got married and then the high court overturned his ruling The stay means gay couples won't be able to marry m Ham all for at least
,i year
"We kind ot expected It, bul we re not happy with it." said Joseph Mehl lo. who sued along with his partner. Pat Lagon. and two lesbian couples On Tuesday. Chang said Hawaii tailed to shou any eom|K'llmt; state in terest in denying gay couples the right to marry. He ordered the state to begin Is suing them licenses It was the first such ruling by a judge in the United States. The dispute prompted passage ol a federal law signed by President Clm ton that says the U.S. government will not recognize gay marriages and allows stales to ivtt:ni/e
"If hundreds, or even thousands, of gay marriages take place, the Supreme Court probably won't even hear the appeal." Rick 1-ichor Dt'puu Attune) General such unions licensed in other si i in addition, in states have passed laws denying recognition ol gay mar I leputy Attorney General Kick Ki chor sought the stay, arguing that al towing couples to marry immediately would undermine the Stab n hundreds, or even thousands, of
gay marriages take place, the Supreme Court probably won't even bear the appeal,' he said Following a JH minute hearing yesterday, Chang agreed with Kichor that the state would have a dilemma Bichor also argued that the three gay couples who sued for the right to marrv would Buffer DO real harm if
their right to marry were delayed. Dan Foley. a civil liberties attor ney who represented the couples, said he found that argument incredulous He said his clients already had suffered from delays in the case Eichor said he will file an appeal within 30 days. "I hope it won't take long to con vince the Supreme Court that Judge Chang's ruling was correct." Melillo said
Chang's ruling Tuesday came on the ninth anniversary of the part ncrship of Antoinette Pregil and Tarn my Rodrigues. one of the three plaintiff couples, who had hoped they could be married on Christmas Day.
Popular toys in short supply
Ukrainian pres. up for Nobel
NEW YORK - Surprised by soaring de mand. the maker of Tickle Me Bum is flying in the dolls from China. You'll be hard-prcs-., < | to find the latest Nintendo, too And Barbie on CD-ROM is gone as well. Barely one week into the holiday shopping season, the blood pressure is rising among moms and dads competing for the hottest Christmas toys. I 'a rents are breaking down doors for some of these toys, said I rank Reysen. editor of Playthings maga/.ine There's not just one hit this year, but a couple that everyone wants." As in the Cabbage Patch Kids crate of 1983 and the frenzy over Holiday Barbie last year, parents are using guerrilla-shopper tactics.
President Leonid Kuchma was nominated for the Nobel Peace prize.
They're lining up by the hundreds before dawn al stores rumored to have the toys In a phenomenon satirized in the new Arnold
Schwarzenegger movie "Jingle All the Waj thev'ie tugging and brawling to get a toy al ter the doors open. At a Best Buy store in Aurora. III., police charged a woman with battery after she slapped another woman who grabbed the last Nintendo box Ofl the shell At a Target store in Davenport, Iowa, a clerk handing an Elmo doll to a customer saw it intercepted by an other customer. "Grown people are willing to go pretty for for one of these dolls." said Jen Smith, a moth er who couldn't find an Elmo.
KIEV. 1,'kraine Academics from several countries have nominated Ukrainian I'resi dent Leonid Kuchma for the 1997 Nobel Peace
Prize, his office said yesterday. Kuchma has been credited with diffusing tensions between Ukrainians and Russian separatists on Ukraine's Crimean IVninsu la. He also has been noted for improving relations with Moscow Western leaders praise him for giving up
Ukraine's nuclear weapons and pushing through market reforms — actions which have earned him criticism at home. Kuchma's office said it had been told of the nomination, but would give no further infor mation. He was elected president of Ukraine in 1994. The ITAR-Tass news agency said that seven prominent academics from the United States. Canada. Europe and Japan sent his nomination to the Nobel Peace Prize Com mittee in Norway It did not identify them. Kuchma. 58. once ran the Soviet Union's largest nuclear missile plant. No Ukrainian has ever won the Nobel Peace Prize.
NEWS
SWIEFS
Chunnel reopens for passenger trains LONDON - The first passenger train allowed through the fire dam aged Channel Tunnel in more than two weeks pulled out of London on yesterday, bound for Paris with plen ty of empty seats. Eew people knew the passenger trains were operating again. Eurostar train company spokesperson Roger Harrison said Operators had re ceived the go ahead to resume ser vices only on Tuesday evening
Miners across Russia strike for second day MOSCOW - Workers at more than 100 coal mines across Russia stayed off the job for a second day yesteroday to demand back pay from the cash strapped government Some also demanded the government be dismissed Labor protests have become com mon in Russia, and usually end when Moscow pumps enough money into the coffers for at least some of the back pay The government has pledged huge sums to the miners in recent months
Battered wife pardoned for killing husband CONCORD, NH A woman who says she fatally shot her husband be cause of his years of abuse won a conditional pardon yesterday after serving nearly 10 years in prison The governor's Executive Council voted unanimously to release June Bnand from prison early, but not as early as she had asked. Brian, who was sentenced to 15 years to life in prison, will be out on work release in April
Iran orders one million illegal workers to leave TEHRAN. Iran — Nearly 1 mil lion foreigners working illegally in Iran must leave the country within the next month, the Islamic Republic News Agency reported yesterday. Employers in Iran have been given a Jan. 4 deadline to replace foreigners working without a permit, a Labor Ministry official told the news agency.
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Thursday, December 5.1996
WORLD Associated Press
Pag« 10 The Daily Pennsylvania NEWS BRIEFS
Attention cast on possible successor to Christopher
Guatemalans celebrate 'miracle of peace'
Madeleine Albright emerges as a Secretary of State contender.
ESQUIPULAS. Guatemala - After 36 years of fighting and 140.000 deaths. Guatemala's adversaries signed a truce yesterday in Central America's last and longest civil war. Here in the birthplace of the peace process, residents lit candles, prayed and rejoiced at news of the signing in Oslo. Norway. As dawn arrived at the whitewashed Basilica of the Black Christ, Benedictine monks in flowing brown robes chanted Vespers before a 3foot cedar carving of Jesus on a cross.
WASHINGTON — With President Clinton nearing a final decision, UN. Ambassador Madeleine Albright emerged yesterday as the focus of attention in the search for a new secretary of state. Though several administration of ficials termed her a frontrunner. two senior White House aides involved in the decision-making process said Clinton would not characterize her status that way One of the aides said that while
Serb leader shows little reaction to protest
most signs were pointing to Albright. Clinton's thinking has not fully en 1 talhzed — and he could still settle on another candidate. Complicating the guessing game: The names of three finalists have not been made public The official made the assessment after an late-evening meeting between Clinton and his inner circle: Vice President Al Gore, chief of staff Leon Panetta and incoming chief of staff Erskine Bowles. Albright, a hawk on Bosnia intervention and NATO expansion, is a loyal Clinton aide who appeals to his sense of history: She would be the first female secretary of state and would bring an inspirational biography to the job.
Albright, 59, is a naturalized American citizen, the daughter of a Czech diplomat, whose family moved from Czechoslovakia to the United States when she was 11. Clinton is drawn to candidates with rich personal histories, such as Polish born Gen. John Shalikashvili, the chairperson of the Joint Chiefs of Staff who is a grandson of a czarist general and son of a Georgian army officer. The other known candidates include: retiring Democratic Sen. Sam Nunn of Georgia; former Senate Democratic leader George Mitchell; Richard Holbrooke, who helped ne gotiate the Bosnia settlement; and Thomas Pickering, former ambassador to Russia.
I-oral Corp. chairman and Democratic donor Bernard Schwartz and Lockheed Martin Corp. head Norman Augustine. Cohen has been considered the front runner, but senior aides say White and Nunn are getting increasing attention. Officials also said Clinton could even delay his choice into the second term, taking advantage of Perry's offer to stay aboard until a successor is named. Aides closest to the president caution that Clinton is still open minded about all Cabinet posts — his feel ings about candidates running hot and cold with every meeting and every phone call.
Aides expected Clinton's decision this week, but did not rule out a longer wait 'She's the pony of the moment."' one official said of Albright. The U.N. ambassador was flying to Washington for a series of previously scheduled meetings today, but none of them were to be with Clinton, one source said. Candidates to replace Defense Secretary William Perry include retiring Republican Sen. William Cohen of Maine. Nunn, CIA Director John Deutch, Deputy Defense Secretary John White and Deputy Attorney General Jamie Gorelick. Clinton also is said to be considering candidates from the defense industry, such as
U.S. and Cuba hold high-level talks on immigration
BELGRADE, Yugoslavia - With his enemies stronger than ever. President Slobodan Milosevic is fighting back — not with a show of might but with a mighty silence that could prove as effective as bullets or tanks. Thousands of students rallied outside his office doors yesterday. Only Milosevic wasn't there. Later, 150.000 protesters gathered in the city center, the biggest demon stration in 16 straight days. But there was no independent media to spread the word.
HAVANA — The United States and Cuba held their highest-level talks yesterday since the February down ing of two civilian U.S. planes, focus ing on immigration issues meant to stem the flow of Cuban refugees. The discussions at Havana's convention center about immigration agreements signed in September 1994 and May 1995 were headed by John Hamilton, deputy assistant secretary of state, and Ricardo Alarcon. president of Cuba's parliament and a former foreign minister. "We don't expect any further is sues." said Judith Bryan, a spokesperson for the U.S. Interest Section here.
Government names Ethiopian air hijackers ADDIS ABABA Ethiopia — Two unemployed high school graduates and a nurse were identified yesterday as the hijackers of a jet that crashed off the Comoros Islands last month. The Ethiopian Airlines jet made a crash landing off an Indian Ocean beach when it ran out of fuel on Nov. 23. killing 125 of the 175 aboard.
The 12-member U.S. team drove past reporters into the convention center driveway without comment. Cuban officials also made no com ment. It is the first official public contact between both governments since President Clinton's re-election last month. The two sides last met in New York in November. Under the agreements, the United States ended a decades-old policy of accepting most Cuban refugees rescued at sea and agreed to issue at least 20.000 Cuba immigrant visas each year. Cuba promised not to harass refugees returned by the United
States.
Cuban officials claim the United States has violated the agreement by failing to return hijackers of airplanes and ships. The United States says it is upholding the agreement, and international law, by prosecuting such cases in the United States. The most noted case involved Cuban Air Force Lt. Col. Jose Fernandez Pupo, who hijacked a pas senger plane to the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo in eastern Cuba in July. He has been charged with air piracy and faces trial in the United States. U.S. officials have said that Cuba in
JERUSALEM — Israel's parliament voted unanimously yesterday to create an annual memorial day to honor assassinated Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, reversing an earlier decision by the government. The bill, submitted by the Meretz party, a coalition partner in Rabin's government, passed 61-0 after Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's coalition withdrew its opposition.
WASHINGTON — Defense Secretary William Perry said yesterday he decided he couldn't serve a second term because the burden of sending troops on dangerous missions was so hard to bear. "This pressure wears on you. and four years is about as long as anybody can take it," Perry said in his first public comments about leaving office. "I don't know whether anybody can do this job for eight years." he said, "but you have to know something about yourself, and I have concluded I cannot. Having come to that judg ment, that's what I told the president" President Clinton is mulling over choices
Cuban officials claim the United States has violated the agreement by failing to return hijackers of airplanes and ships. Coast Guard says. Cuban military planes shot down two of the Brothers to the Rescue exile group's unarmed civilian aircraft off Cuba on February 24. killing four people.
Bomb explodes in Pakistan
Perry: Burden ofdeploying troops too hard to bear
Parliament approves Rabin Memorial Day
general has complied with its promise not to harass returned exiles, though the United States has several times urged Cuba to reduce the $600 in fees it charges people granted visas to emigrate. Most Cubans earn less than $10 a month and several thousand wouldbe immigrants with visas have been unable to leave the island because they could not pay the fees. The immigration agreements were reached after more than 30,000 people left the Communist island on rafts for Florida in the summer of 1994. An average of two dozen Cubans are still plucked from boats headed to the United States each month, the
for his top foreign policy posts, including the secretaries of state and defense. Perry informed top defense aides the day af ter President Clinton's re-election of his in tention not to stay on, but he has made no formal announcement. Pentagon officials who attended that session said Perry told them he would remain in office as long as the president wishes, presumably until a successor can be confirmed by the Senate. Perry made his comments on his reason for leaving after a speech to a business group in San Francisco, and the speech was relayed to the Pentagon.
Many were injured when the device went off outside a hotel.
created a large crater in the middle of the posh shopping area. Windows in several nearby buildings were blown out. "Suddenly there was this huge explosion and the windows shattered.'' said Huma Tahir, a guest at the hotel. Moeen Uddin of the police bomb-disposal KARACHI, Pakistan — A powerful bomb exploded yesterday across the street from the squad said more than nine pounds of explosi\ a five-star Sheraton Hotel, a resort popular with material was used in the bomb It was the second explosion in Pakistan in tourists to this southern port city. Twelve people were hospitalized, four with as many days. On Tuesday, a car bomb excritical injuries, and dozens of others received ploded outside a busy market in Lahore, the minor injuries from flying glass, authorities capital of Punjab province located 650 miles northeast of Karachi. No one took responsisaid. No one has taken responsibility for the bility for that bombing either and no arris is have been made. bombing. In recent months, at least 80 people have The bomb, planted in a flower bed outside an eight-story office building, gutted a branch been killed in bomb explosions in Punjab office of the National Bank of Pakistan and province
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When the Penn women's swim team travels to Hamilton, N.Y.. for the Colgate Invitational, It will be the first time all season that the freshmen swimmers \ I swim in someone else's pool.
Freshmen make up for graduated talent W. SWIMMING from page 18 water." Wilder said. "And since we're coming down in yardage I from practice!, it will be particularly effective." "We got some really great freshman swimmers this year, including past national qualifiers," Quakers backstroker Jenn Triolo said. "I think that some of them have a chance of winning this weekend." Freshman Jenn Walsh, for example, was a junior national qualifier in the 200-meter breaststroke. the 200 butterfly and the 400 individual medley. Also, Jamie Taylor won the 1.000 freestyle at last year's Eastern Championships. Penn coach Kathy Lawlor-Gilbert gave the team a pep talk about good
attitude A positive attitude along with the proper training is key, she said. "She's right; attitude is everything," Taylor said. "When I get into the pool, I have to think, i own these girls.'" Although Lawlor Gilbert's relationship with the team was not al ways ideal in the past, this year's team now credits much of their sue cess to her. "She has stood by this women's team when they had no more than a dozen swimmers and competition was an embarrassment, and she is still able to greet each and every workout with the most positive atti tude I've ever seen." Quakers backstroker Lauren Rallough said. "She has done a lot of great things for us just in the one-and-a-half seasons I
Thursday, December 5 15 oo PM ii.inukk.il) Party m Stouffer Recreation Rmim (below Beijing Restaurant) with underprivileged kids from Wen i'hili>. All Quad Residents ate invited and encouraged t" attend j !S:(X) PM Candle lighting ;il Hilkl J in I'M loin your friends in the Greek system lor the (ireek Jewish Activities Council Hanukkah Party. Come and enjo) Holiday Drinks, l..iikes. dotuiis. Gelt, Games and Much Moroal 1938 Delanc] Street 10:00 PM Maccabee Madness Hanukkah Part) al the Mask and Wig Clubhouse. 310S. Qumee. Everyone Welcome, S3 per person on the walk December 2-5 or $5 per person ut the door. I'IXHI and dnnks will be served (ash Bar Brinish! it> You H\ The ftwlsh A* tivititi Council Menorahs, Candles, and More available throughout llanukkuli at llillcl and the Jewish Activities Ccattf l-or more intounation about Hanukkah eal Hillel at 898-7391 in the Jewish Activities Center at sos-5443
have been here. She reeruits kids that she thinks would be an asset to our team chemistry - not just fast swimmers Although our reeonl does n't reflect it, we are improving" Many freshmen have recorded personal bests within their first season at Penn. Taylor, for example, has cut her 500 free time by almost five I6C onds. In just the first two meets, the relay teams have matched last year's season bests "They're an outstanding group and really hard trainers, said LawlorGilbert of the freshmen "The Other teams will definitely present • challenge. Brown won Easterns last year and is expected to repeat, but Vale may topple them Yale is a very, very. very strong team."
Visit Auntie Anne's Hand-Rolled Soft PretzelsHouston Hall for a great snack on the go! Monday - Friday: 8:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m. Saturday & Sunday: 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.
Software Engineers fjj§!$*
IP'
Triple Point Technology. Inc. is current!) seeking ihe besl and the brightest SOFTWARE ENGINEERS to design, develop and test client/sever commodity trading systems using the latest development tools for the Microsoft Windows 95/NTIM and Sybase™ platforms. We otter a relaxed, entrepreneurial work environment in a quiet nautical setting, 45 minutes from New York City. Our employees enjoy benefits including year-end bonus, health insurance. 401 K and opportunities lor stock options.
We are a cutting-edge software developer for the commodities trading industry, and will be conducting on-campus interviews for full time positions on Wednesday, February 19 and Thursday, February 20. All CSE or EE Whether you're planning to study abroad next semester or next year, take some time to explore these topics of interest:
Career Planning & Working Abroad Find out how CPPS can help you while you're abroad and how study abroad might help your career goals. Also, learn about CIEE's "Work Abroad" program, which could help you find a summer job abroad. Presented by CPPS. OIP and C1EE. Tuesday. December 3rd, 3:30 pm, Smith Penniman Room. Houston Hall
Woman's Issues Abroad This program looks at women's issues in a variety of cultural settings. Dealing with dating & relationships. safety issues, and handling uncomfortable situations. Presented by OIP and the Penn Women's Center. Wednesday. December 4th, 5:00 pm. Penn Women's Center, 3043 Locust Walk
Traveling Abroad Get travel tips from the experts! STA Travel hosts their program about rail passes, hosteling. and how to see the sites while you're abroad. Presented by STA Travel. Wednesday. December 4th, 6:30 pm, STA Travel Office. 3730 Walnut St.
Being an American Minority Abroad Concerned about minority and racial issues abroad? This seminar, for students of all backgrounds, looks into a wide range of cultural experience abroad. Presented by OIP and College Advising. Thursday. December 5th. 5:30 pm. I 27 Bennett Hall
International lesbian Gay Bisexual Concerns Wondering about acceptance abroad? Dating? etc.? The Lesbian Gay Bisexual Resource Center leads a discussion into these and other issues. Presented by the LGB Resource Center Monday. December 9th, 12:00 noon, Lesbian Gay Bisexual Resource Center. 3537 Locust Walk, 3rd floor For more information on these programs contact: PENN Abroad, Office of International Programs I 33 Bennett Hall tel. 898-9073
candidates, please leave your resumes al Career Planning and Placement during the week of December 2, 1996.
Triple Point Technology. Inc.. provides comprehensive, integrated commodities trading solutions to major oil companies, investment banks, shipping concerns. energ) companies and other global trailing organizations. We leverage technical, business and trading expertise to help customers reengineer their business processes and develop efficient commodities trading systems.
bounded in 1993. Triple Point is headquartered in Rowayton, Connecticut. USA and operates satellite offices in Geneva. Switzerland and Houston. Texas. Our clients include such leading worldwide trading organizations as Mobil Supply and Trading. Morgan Stanley, J.P. Morgan. Koch Supply & Trading Inc. and Galaxy Energy International. Ltd.
II you are unable to meet with us. please forward your resume to: Angela Hilmo. Manager Human Resources. Triple Point Technology. 71 Rowayton Avenue. Rowayton. CT 06853 USA. Phone: (203) 831-4141. Fax: (203) 831410b. Triple Point Technology Inc.. is an equal opportunity employer.
TRIPLE POINT TECHNOLOGY
Thursday. December 5.1996
SPORTS
Season in Review
The Daily Pennsylvania" Page 1-
Swamis say:
IVY LEAGUE FOOTBALL LEADERS PASSING NUH
Aljancic McCullough Linden Carroll Barber MacLeod Budzinski Thomason
Kondail
TOTAL OFFENSE
SCHOOL
TO
YDS
RMINO
Dart Brown Har.
10 23 4 9 6 5 7 7 4
1856 2609 899 1583 753 720 1160 1264 766
1382 121.9 1088 99.9 93.5 93.3 93.1 90.0 72.7
Cornell Yale Penn Prin Col. Yale
NAMi SCHOOL McCullough Brown Aljancic Dart. Thomason Col. Cor. Levitt Cor. Budzinski Prin. Penn Har. Hu Brown Jessie
Carroll Scott
SCHOOL
Levitt Cornell Scott Penn Hu Harvard Jessie Brown Smith Dartmouth
An 267 290 250 210 224
SCHOOL
Morey Brown Krawczyk Cornell Busch Cornell Rodriguez Yale Skelton Harvard
Rec 60 54 57 34 49
PUSS
YAHI,'.
NAME
95 367 59 1435 48 39 1193 961 910
2609 1856 1264 0 1583 1160 0 0 19
2704 2223 1323 1435 1535 1121 1193 961 929
Masella Morton Morey Fabish Allen Hanks C Freccero Busch Giurato
YDS
YDS/0
NAME
SCHOOL
PUNTS
YDS
AVO
159 4 119.3
Evans Princeton Routt Brown Watson Cornell Larferty Yale Schlobohm Dart.
82 58 59 67 58
3340 2248 2276 2577 2200
40.7 38.8 38.6 38.5 37.9
96.1 910 88.5
SCHOOL
YDS
Yos/G 93.9 79.0 720 70.7 69.1
NAME
Regula Linit Greathouse Konnke Rodin
SCHOOL
FG
Dart. Col. Penn Har. Cor.
14 13 10 10 8
FGA FG/G
20 22 15 18 14
1.4 1.0 1.0 0.8
SCHOOL
NAME
Skelton Lee Patterson Fabish Hanks
Ret 14 11 17 10 25 17 12 19 12
Ava 23.4 23.1 21.9 20.7 199 19.9 18.4 17.7 17.5
YDS
328 254 372 207 498 339 221 337 210
RET
YDS
26
278 291 114 106 232
Har. Dart. Har. Penn
Col.
36 15 14 31
Ava 10.7 8.2 7.6 7.6 7.5
INTERCEPTIONS
FIELD-GOAL KICKING
939 790 720 707 691
Yale Dart. Brown Penn Cor Col. Yale Cor. Prin.
PUNT RETURNING
1435 1193 961 910 885
RECEIVING NAMC
RUSH
PUNTING
RUSHING NA«M
KICKOFF RETURNING
NAME
Lee Bellanca Bishop ' Hanks Piela
SCHOOL
INT
YDS
INT/G
Dart Col. Penn Col. Penn
7 6 5 5 4
116 55 19 95 184
.70 .60 .50 .50 .40
DONT FORGET
wiaccabee Madness Thursday, December 5, 1996 10:00 PM - 1:00 AM mask and wig clubhouse 310 S. Quince between 11th & 12th and Spruce & Pine Tickets: S3.00 (on the walk Dec. 2-4) S5.00 at the door Food and Drinks Will Be Served -Cash BarThis Program Is Sponsored By The Jewish Activities Council and its member organizations which include: The Greek Jewish Activities Council,The Hirst Year Activities Council, Hilled, Hit Hillel Vaad, the Steinhardt Jewish Heritage Program and Chabad.
It's never too late to join DP sports. Want to write for the Z7Pnext semester? Call Scott at 898-6585.
•Trustees' Council of /ton Women
Oant Program Hie Trustees' Council of Penn women announces the establishment of a urant program available to members of the I 'Diversity community. The grants, in amounts from $1,000.00 to $5
Student and Staff
Salomon Brothers
Feedback Needed
&
Wharton Undergraduate Women's Association
Business Services needs your feedback to effectively redesign and manage key services to the Penn Community.
Cordially Invites
Send your ideas for improving the Penn Transportation System (especially Escort Service, PennBus and Walking Escort) to:
Undergraduate Women to Discuss
[email protected] (available on an on-going basis)
Respond to our web survey regarding campus food services at:
INVESTMENT BANKING
httpV/www.upenn.cdu/biis-svc.s/food.survey.html
EXTENDED through 12/5
Thursday, December 5,1996 Palladium Lower Lounge 3:30 - 5:30 PM Panel Discussion Refreshments will be served
Salomon Brothers
Send comments on any Business Services department to our 2 » hour voicemail application. Just dial 898-IDEA and leave your message (Available on an ongoing basis)
Business Services at PENN
The Book Store, Class ol 1923 Ice Rink, Computer l onnectkM), Dining Services, Faculty Club, Mail Service, Morris Arboretum, Penn Children's ( enter, Penn< aid, Penntrcx, Ihihlication* Services, Records < enter.Tclccommunii .11 iony Transportation A Parking, Universir) Motels
Please contact Business Services at 898-9155 if you have questions. Thank you for your input!
SPORTS
Thursday, December 5.1996
Fleischhauer honored by Burger King for academics
The University of Pennsylvania School of Social Work presents
FOOTBALL from page 18 No matter which Quaker is selected as the opening day starter, he will have a solid corps of returning receivers to throw to Juniors John James and Alec Dafferner will return, and Brian Bonanno plans to come back for a fifth season. • Bagnoli has spent much of his spare time congratulating several of his players on their post-season awards. One week ago, the all-Ivy teams were announced. Making the first team from Penn were Scott on offense and guard Mitch Marrow on defense. Scott was one of two running backs on the first team, joining Bushnell Cup winner Chad Levitt of Cornell. Scott amassed 1,262 yards, second only to Levitt. His 290 carries broke Terrance Stokes's Penn single-season record. Marrow, with his 16.5 sacks and 60 tackles, was a shoo-in at the dafcutl I lineman position. "I am still waiting for the results of the All-American awards, which come out in a month, but I was thrilled to be unanimously named to the all-Ivy first team," Marrow said. Toward the end of this season Marrow had been pondering the thought of not returning for next Ma son But this past week, the fourth year junior from Harrison. NY., decided to come back for his final year of eligibility. "My family had talked to a lot of scouts for different NFL teams in recent weeks, and we decided that it was in my best interest to stay on for a fifth season," Marrow said. "I want to put myself in the best possible position to play in the NFL "
On the flip side of the ball, offensive lineman Mark PldKhhaiKr received an award from Burger King for his athletic and academic performances. The award is only given out to 100 players across the U.S., and it was a surprise to Flcischauer. "I remembered I Penn Director of Athletic Communications! Shaun May asking me earlier in the year about my grades." Fldschhauer Raid "But I didn't think anything of it. RO I was pretty shocked when I found out that I won." The senior from Clemmons. N.C., went from being a walk on as sophomore to "being a part of our BUG cessful running game this past season," according U) Bagnoli. Fleischhauer played his last game two weeks ago and is set to move to New York next year for a job working on Wall Street ' "The thing I will probably miss the most was the camaraderie. Fleis chhauer said. It was great to be with 100 guys working to achieve the same goal." • Penn offensive lineman Matt Julien. safety John Bishop and line backer Darren MacDonald were named second-team all-Ivy. Wide receiver Mark Fabish. often sive tackle Sears Wright, nose guard Chris Osentowski and defensive guard Tom Foley all received honor able mention all-Ivy recognition • On Monday. Penn elected Bishop the team captain for next season. Marrow, who has played with the fourth-year junior from Barryville, Ark . for the past two seasons applauded the new captain "Bishop was definitely a good choice," Marrow said. "He is a real hard worker, and he has good leadership skills "
The Daily Pennsylvania Pay 13
/L-fac K«*e
a Kenneth L.M. Pray Lecture
Sat. Dec. 7 Houston Hall Bowl Room 8 pm
Robert Pinker B.Sc., M.Sc. Professoi Emeritus i.ondon School of Economics and Poltfcal Science, University of London. London. England speaks about
"Social Work and Social Welfare: The Changing Prospectus"
Free Acoustical Concert and coffee
Thursday, December 5, 1996 7:00-9:00 p.m. Reception following lecture at the Penn Faculty Club/Alumni Hall 200 S. 36th Street Philadelphia. PA
Sponsored by the Office of Student Life
The lecture is free and open to the public
SPEC
FOR MORE INFORMATION: CALL 215-898-5526
1^* ROASTED CHICKEN
KINGS STEAKS
Imagine a fD!%EA!M JO
•develop managerial skills
•gel your picture in the Student Director)
l/oversee the production & marketing of the Student Directory Calendar. & Planner
•s< hmooze with Philly professionals 4311 LOCUST ST. PHILADELPHIA EAT IN • TAKE OUT • DELIVERY SERVICE... 386-8881, 386-8882, 386-8883 FAX: 386-5190 OPEN HOURS: SUNDAY-THURSDAY: 11 AM -11 PM FRIDAY & SATURDAY 11 AM -12 MIDNIGHT
•get to BE YOUR OWN BOSS
Make it a Reality. Apply Today. Student Services Operations Director also available: Accounts Receivable Manager Customer Service Representatives • Commissary Associates Penn Student Agencies Lower Level, Houston Hall • Mon-Fri 9am-6pm
1^=^
Satllam-4pm • 898-6815
I
I
CHANUKAH '96 ml...
?\eaee join the following etudente to light the giant menorah, enjoy latkas,
and receive a free menorah •StacirS &rer\e\\ver, '97, COL, PSS -
SPONSORED r3Y LUr3AVITCH HOUSE AT PENN
CALL 222-3130 FOR MEN0RAHS, DREIDEL5, CANDLE5, OR HOLIDAY INFORMATION
S^B^MJ^C Complete mo'lluedla computer custorlred for si jdencs Carpus Z-Sutlor' features: • PW«'fvl lattt*.MH—'iWHMI • la ft itf n>', hi d.: M • n»-rotnwro*yt. IMOMlft -.orietl •re.icalkana • n* a, Mar Ira. raw taupe,"trwik «W • Ns*-sp««d mtam Orsklop Spin-is Irclude Microsoft" datura," Keyboard and Microsoft Mouse Loaded »»11 M crosofl softwait lor may ard fun • «•« rcio'l Cfflc. tor rVMon si wet, Wwd. "krosWI (.seal PoitiPstai. Vkiotofl **c*ss. 5chec-if •, Cacaila «4 l-cyt opreta. M ,i.uA l-i»( •( Atvhts'ls . Mkioss* VltaeW M »•» meres* mew* laelo-ri a.o • Minolta nasl • Gar as te r istedtrvs 9 ( t Kgrto. antMrus and -*». Hewlett Packard Color Deskjet avaLaMe Ask about Microsoft I'rcirar IT.II'S Dream Pack
S.K*
PiSn
IF
ir isir
urn
»Utt 1X*1
1MH MSI IV tur mil inn
net IVr l» *
nm
Experience Campus Z-Starion.
1-800-811-3452 http-//wv»w 2ds.com educatI0rrO2di.com
Page 14 The Daily Pennsylvania!
Thursday. December 5,1996
898-1111
CLASSIFIED LINE AD RATES
CLASSIFIED DISPLAY AD RATES
Regular line classified ads are priced by the number of words. I day 40e per word 2-3 days 35c per word per day 4-5 days 32c per word per day 6-10 days 29c per word per day II or more days 26c per word per day NOTES: There is a 10-word minimum on all classified ads. Phone numbers count as one word. Check your ad the first day it runs; The Daily Pennsylvanian will only assume responsibility for any errors the first day an ad runs. Tearsheets or proofs are not supplied for classified ads.
Classified Display (boxed) ads are priced by size. Ad sizes are measured as the number of columns wide by the number of inches tall. Each such "column-inch" costs $8.80. Columns are approximately 1T wide. The minimum ad size is 2 columninches (i.e. 1 column wide by 2" tall), and costs $17.60 per day. Many larger sizes are available: call for complete rates.
HOW TO PLACE AN AD
IY
Classifieds appear in the order listed below. If you can't find a heading in the listings, there are no ads of that type in today's newspaper.) FOR RENT SUBLET ROOMMATES REAL ESTATE HELP WANTED FOR SALE SERVICES TYPING INSTRUCTION WANTED BUSINESS OPPS. HEALTH & FITNESS TICKETS TRAVEL ADOPTION LOST & FOUND ADULT ENTERTAINMENT MISCELLANEOUS DP PERSONALS
898-1111
CLASSIFIED ADS
Call (215) 898-6581 Telephone lines are open Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Closed weekends.
lYRUlE-MML Dial (215) 898-2050 or E-mail [email protected] 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Include the ad text, dates you want the ad to run, your name & phone number, your credit card number with expiration date and your name as it appears on your credit card.
DEADLINES & PAYMENT AO DEADLINES Regular line ads (new ads, changes, cancellations): 12 noon, one business day preceding publication. Classified Display ads (new ads, changes, cancellations): 3 p.m., two business days preceding publication.
INLINE CLASSIFIEDS
MKBM
Any regular classified ad can also be listed on the "DP Interactive" Internet Web site for 50c per ad per day. View online classifieds at http://www.dp.upenn.edu/
Come to 4015 Walnut Street, 2nd floor Office hours are Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Closed weekends
PAYMENT Classified ads must be paid in full at the time of placement. None will be billed. No refunds are given for cancelled classified ads. Visa, MasterCard and Amencan Express cards are accepted.
tfTMIALIIMUNB Large Headline: A big (16 point), bold, centered, capitalized headline can be added above a classified ad for an additional $1.50 per line per day. Maximum of 18 characters per line. Jumbo Headline: A larger (24 point) headline is available for an additional $2.50 per line per day. Maximum of 12 characters per line.
BY MAI Send to: Classified Ads.The Daily Pennsylvanian, 4015 Walnut Street. Philadelphia. PA 19104 Enclose the ad text, dates you want the ad to run, your name and phone number, and your payment (check or your credit card number with expiration date).
FOR RENT
FOR RENT
FOR RENT
FOR RENT
FOR RENT
FOR RENT
FOR RENT
FOR RENT
19TH AND SOUTH- I BH w/ lull bath and deck. A/C W/W WD Available Jan 1st $525* utils 610-277-5306
NEAR POWELTON VILLAGE, semester lease available, begin Jan prtvale suite w/ bath, kitchen area. phone, and computer in beautiful African-American home, prefer senous student 215-387-5819
ON PENN CAMPUS, various size apartments, newly decorated, convenient public transportation Wei senthal Properties. 386-2380 4029 Spruce Monday thru Saturday. 9 to 4
3900 BLOCK DELANCEY. 4BR. 2 Sbaths W'D. 0/W. A/C gas heat. Iirepiace. Iinlshed basement, hardwood floors, parking space included 908-449-4813. leave message Locally managed Available immediately and for next year
41ST A PINE, Newly renovated, with modem kitchen & bath. 1BR $550 2BR. $650 Available 1/1/97 43rd a Pine Nice 2BR. $625 Efficiency. $375 Available immediately. 42nd a Spruce Large 1BR with porch. $475 Efficiency. $365. Available immediately 41st & Baltimore. Efficiency. $300 1BR. $375 Available 1/1/97 Call 367-0287
42NO OSAGE. LARGE 8BR house 3BA. 3Kitchens. W/D Ex cellent Secunty 610-864-6539
CENTER CITY, LOVELY 5 BR. 2 BA house Skyline views Close to Penn $1125 804-243-7631
RITTENHOUSE SQUARE: EFFICIENCIES 1 and 2 bedrooms $350 $550 William Penn Realty 636-0100
42ND STREET BETWEEN Baltimore and Chester. Large newly renovated 2 BR Parking $575 Available Dec 1 Heat/ hot water included Laundry. 387-4137.
CITY LINE AREA, spacious 5BR. 2BTH. garage, porch, new kitchen. $1200 (6101668-8824 or (215)3864200
44TH ft. PINE. 1 bedroom Available January 1 st W25 483-6583
3944 DELANCEY: 4 individual rooms available in house, now thru May 25th Newly renovated 610-896-8894 hwertzeaol com
The early bird gets the best nest.
41ST LOCUST AVAILABLE June Attractive 5-8 bedroom houses $225-$310 386-0922
39TH 4 PINE ,'RFi 4BR 6RR Apartments and Houses Available 6/1/97 387-4137 41ST A BALTIMORE. Great 5BR 2BA bi-ievel apartment Kitchen, living room, basement. W/O. yard Available June 97 $1500 i utilities Call 803-9750
4232 CHESTNUT ST. 1BR apt $365/ mo Fred R Levine, RE, 215 465 3733
ACADEMY HOUSE JUNIOR 1BR Partially furnished Good security All utilities included $750/ month 610-667-7557
Guide to finding great off-campus housing: 1. Start looking early. 2. Visit Campus Apartments and pick up our listings.
EFF., 1BR, 2BR. Some w/lireplace Near U of P 222-4535
43RD AND OSAGE. Pet lovers Available immediately 1 bedroom w/ hard wood floors and tile bath $385 per month 1 and 2 bedroom, hardwood floor and tile baths Laundry facilities Starting at $385 per month 610-284-4328
41 ST PINE. 8-8 Bedroom houses Available June $300/person 4836583
GARAGE PARKING: WALNUT & 23rd large garage. $200/mo William Penn Realty. 636-0100
RITTENHOUSE SQUARE VIC Large, bright studio apartment, high ceilings, carpeted, sepaiate kitchen mcl heat $450 Call 215561-4040
4422 PINE. FULLY RENOVATED efficiency Separate kitchen. A/C, W/D Landlord next door. Excellent security Available now or Jan 1 $395 Dr Lees 222 4784
IBM
1
Bill, large storage area (or den)
$620
4517 SPRUCE STREET - large I BIIH with den - D/W
KIT., one, two, three, and up to twelve bedrooms at the most sought-after locations around campus. DOOB TO DOOR SHUTTLE.
$600.
ROOMMATE NEEDED 4406 PINE Female student Call lancy, large 2 BDR 222-448B
Tours begin today for
June 1, 1997
$325
4418 SPRUCE STREET Spacious - Beautiful courtyard with fountain, I BDR (t 3 BDR full si/e dining room, new laundry room, Inear dental school) $620 & $900 . ELEC 47TH ft PINE -1 BDR & 2 BDR
$490. $680 lilt
43 ft LOCUST - Fairfax Apts. Hi-rise HUlg 24hrs desk. Inear Penn campus)
Penn Consumer Board Approved leases.
• • • •
new kitchen, ll.'W. laundry {garageparking
available)
HI 1,1 BDR, charming spacious apts, dog run. $385 - $630 .lilt
The Creators of Beige Block
5 to 10 bedrooms 39th & Pine. Dclancey & Baltimore Aves. 40th & Pine. Locust & Irving Sis 41st & Locusl St.
Affordable rents, secure buildings w/ alarm systems, sun decks, parking, modem baths and kitchens w/ dishwashers & garbage disposal. Washers/dryers and 24 hr. maintenance.
I'. III ft PINE - (,,ii ill n (unit IM.I/.I - Hi-rise, indoor parking garage. IA III. I BDR & 2 BDR, parquet floors. I •'i acre garden, 24 hr. desk personnel, large closets, pets allowed $530 - $760 ♦ ELEC
Open M-F, 9:00 AM -5:00 PM
Whether von are looking fot the convenience nl ;i iiiuli Rise building <>r the distinctive character of an apartment in a classic v it lorlan bornCi we offer son the best living facilities available! Tret' van service to and from 11 of P"> campus tor all apartments)
CAMPUS
Your mother will be happy.
University Enterprises 4009 Chestnut St.
CALL WITH QUESTIONS OR TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT
APARTMENTS
222-5500
215-748-3339 i
6:00
serving students since 1965.
e-mail address: APARTMENT l 9 AOL.COM
TV TONIGHT
WADE CABLEVISION PENN VIDEO NETWORK
6:30
7:00
7:30
8:00
8:30
10:00
9:30
9:00
41 ST AND LOCUST 8-9 bedroom nice house, available June. 366 1606
to get the best locations for Renovated Group Townhouses
$850
4407 WALNUT STREET - large 2 BIIR
UPPER DARBY 3BR house. 2Bath 10 minutes by car 1-610 527-577. call after 6p.m.
■Bel* The Mo «nent"
■BES1 CHOICE IN UNIVERSITY CITYJ'
4207 PIISE STREET»5
UNIVERSITY CITY- 41ST and Baltimore Delightful, bright. 1BR Hardwood lloors. new kitchen S400'mo . Parking available 215-496-0184
PINE ft 22ND; cozy 1 bedroom hardwood, heat included $420 Wil liam Penn Realty 636-0100
4408 SANSOM. LARGE 1BR. 3fl $410$490 Heat, gas included 215-222-6060
Well ome to your Man 11. Klein Apartment
Campus Apartments has the finest selection of houses and apartments. The early birds get to live in them.
TWO BEDROOMS i. • l. i $625- 40th. Chestnut $500- ONE BEDROOMS 42nd. Walnut. 42nd. Locust. 40th. Chestnut $360-$425- EFFICIENCIES 42nd. Walnut. 44th. Locust $315-$375 382-7167
10:30
THURSDAY EVENING DECEMBER 5, 1996 11:00 12:00 12:30 11:30
BROADCAST STATIONS !
CBS ABC
3
News
CBS Evening News
Entertainment Tontgl Maqtare*
H»rd Copy Boot camp i Winnie the Pooh. end Christmn Too > Ri lor |uvonrle criminals
Moloney Nothing but the Truth' Nick looks lor U Hours Former neo-Nazi Tom Leyden now the real kiier o' a convicted rapist who is out on preaches tolerance, author Nicholas Sparks parole
ABC World Newt Tonight
J-opird,'
Nhstl a| Foilum'
High Incident gangste' have ,
Murder One "Chapter Seven' The case winds down as the prosecution and defense deliver cterg a'gunonlb
Turning Point Ex-fugitive Alex Kety and Ins parents, who supported Ins run Irom the law
Hollywood Comc-aclor Jerry Seinfeld
Friends • I i 'r I n '
The Founda- Men Behaving Badly tion' George is ready Jarme Bis lor new to move on (R) maid iR|
ER~Baby Shower" The ER is turned into a makeshift maternrty ward IR|
3
6
fnC Nryhlly Nvwi
NBC
Newshour With Jim Lehrer
PBS
12'?
H:ghtly Business Report
neitfl
p*>
. | Suddenly Susan Su * sar.oraabasketbal
(HI Great Railway Journeys tiptarr-r Benedict Alen travels the Lunatic une from Mombasa.
Mystery! "Poirol' "Hercule Parot's Chnstmas' A Great Performances 'lUhak Perlman In the prospector commits murder m order to acquire Fiddler's House" Celebration of Jewish music a cache of damonds
duction Fresh Prince ol Bel 17'17'Air,.
WB Home improvement -.- tejargei:-,-■ btSt
room
FOX
UPN
bin
10
n'Mkeanda
Married WrthChil dran Kety faces set [back (Part 2 ol 2) Simpsons Homer iindi IOQ lo Ssol ence school
Roseenne Dan reveals Hengm With Mr Cooper ER" Vanes sa s EMT test
57:57 teefcngs about Jackie
Mad About You Paul Married. With Chilwants a parking space dren Al s stash is lost The police pick up Jerry and [George (Part 2 ol 2)
Tim s brother leaves home
Martin Mart* be. With Mr. friends Ins prom dale's Cooper Nicole's unson happy
News
35| Late Show Rebroadcast actors Steve (-37) Late Late Show lAaren and Harrison Ford, boxer Evander Hory- Actress Laura Dern ietd|R| musician Chuck D 35.
112.051 RickiLalta Egotistical guest update
miMsMSht
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Thursday, December 5,1996
SPORTS
The Da
P.iue 15
Quakers hoops freshmen see more minutes than their Ivy League counterparts KKKITZ from page 18 forgotten a few minutes after they took the floor against Towson State. The game marked the first mean ingful on-court test for the young Quakers, and, by all indications, they earned passing grades. Matt Langel drained the first of what will most likely be many three pointers of his college career. He fin ished with seven points, while also showing the ability to distribute the ball as evidenced by his five assists Michael Jordan showed a poise well beyond his collegiate experience
tag sinking 6 of 7 free throws late in the game. Center Geoff Owens scored nine points with a variety of low-post moves, as he used his 6 foot 11 frame as an advantage over shorter de fenders. • The performance of the freshmen in their first game was even more impressive considering the lack of production from virtually every other newcomer in the Ivy League. Princeton has another highly-regarded recruiting class, featuring forwards Mason Hocca and Nathan
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Walton, son of NBA Hall-of Famer Hill Walton Rocca appeared in one game and. in just eight minutes, went 0 for-5 from the field, commit ting two turnovers and being called for four fouls. Walton's stats an :•! most as dismal, as he committed two fouls without taking a shot in five minutes. Throughout the league, freshmen have been relatively silent. Most <>! the newcomers, including Brown's Oggie Kapetanovic. brother of former Quaker Vigor Kapetanovic, have spent most of their time on the bend] In fact, the Quakers freshmen's
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ues to pile up impressive stats ., aging over I!i points and H rebounds per game His chances are bill by .m Improved Harvard team that in eludes sophomore guard Tim Hill 114? point Is per gan A dark horse candidate could i» Cornell ■ John McCord The senior
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claimed top honors last year and is nine again one of the most prolific scorers in the league at 17 :i points per game His chances of winning will increase d the Big Green com pete lor the league title ai Lonergan is shooting for a third straight conference scoring title Princeton was though) to have two candidates in Sydney Johnson and Steve (loodnch. but both have strug gled so far this season However .their teammate Brian Earl has shown signs of living up to his po
only challenge for rookie suprem.u > appears to be Harvard's Donnie Dean, who has averaged S5 points in two games and is .in emerging long-range threat. • Although the season has just begun, it is never too early to begin the Ivy League Player of the Year hype IVnn has had a stronghold on the award in recent season. A Quaker has garnered top honors for four Straight Season. But this year, it appears as if the top challengers will come from other schools. Dartmouth's Sea Iionergan almost
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Puz/1«bvMicr\MIS Maurtr 31 Like St Nick S "little mouth." m The Night Before Christmas' 33 Recipient 34 Happens again 36 Maximally cunning 38 Take away, at law 41 Gay 42 Unspoiled 43 Traveler sstop 48 Cheerleadmg maneuvers 46 Qnic ncal homes
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Answers to any three clues m this puzzle are available by touch-tone phone 1 900 420-5656 |75c per minutel Annual subscriptions are available tor me best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years i 688-7 ACROSS
Page 16 " . :)aily Pennsylvanian
SPORTS
Thursday. December 5,1996
Perm's fencing past meets fencing present this weekend
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FENCING from page 18
SOCIALIZING IN SPO*»TS
her coach. Micahnik, who supported members of the women's team who had interest in fencing weapons other than foil. Martha Stachitas, now Director of Alumni Relations at the University, was the first captain of Penn's first women's fencing team in 19731974. She remembers trying the sport because of Micahnik's per suasive speech at a Women's Athletic Association meeting some 20 years ago. Stachitas remembers the athletic department being supportive of Micahnik. which led to the addition of the sport for women — initially as a club sport. it was fun to be captain, and I did sense a level of extra responsibility," Stachitis said. "I knew Dave was in vested in all of us — we all wanted the program to succeed." And succeed it has It was due to their early success that the women's fencing club quickly gained varsity status. Micahnik has been instrumental in the outstanding performances of the fencing teams over the years. In his tenure, he has produced 20 male and 10 female AllAmericans. This year's captain, senior Liz Cornfield, is able to personally relate to the historical tradition of women's fencing at Perm She was first introduced to the sport by Quakers legendary fencing coach Maestro Csiszar at the age of 12. Penn was offering kiddie classes taught by the then-coach. Since fencing had been a tradition in her own family — her grandfather Jules Campos was a prominent European fencer — Cornfield followed in her family's footsteps Cornfield said that the team is looking forward to the alumni meet, and she is especially anxious to meet her mother. Flora Cornfield (an as sistant dean in the College) in com-
rOt/H FIRST STEP TO A CAREER IN
SPOUTS
Cooftesy Penn Athletic Communications
This weekend, the Penn fencing teams will face members of its past teams. From the 1976-77 foil squad featuring (left to right) Bob Wolfson, Jack Tichacek. Steve Gross and Bob Lehrman. Wolfson and Tichacek will be traveling back to Philadelphia.
"I want the current team to know and appreciate the people who went before them and how good they are to this day." Dave Micahnik Pom fencing coach petition. While her mom did gradu ale from Penn. she did not have the opportunity to fence because the sport was only open to men at that time. Among the alumni spectators can expect to see are 1943 graduate Bob Greenbaum, the men who fenced and won the NCAA for Penn in 1953 — Frank Bertone. Jack Tori and Bob Par
macek 1954 NCAA individual foil champion Bob Goldman, as well as the first man ever to fence on electric foil in I DM at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel. Micahnik is looking forward to Saturday's event. He also promised to make a special surprise announcement that he says will please fencers both past, present and future to
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The Lfoiversitu gfRjvisLJtoania Department gfMnsk presents
The University Choral Society William Parberry, Conductor
The University Wind Ensemble Ricardo Averbach, Music Director
armina Qfglurana by Carl Orff ass
by Igor Stravinsky
In EcclesilS by Giovanni Qabrieli Bronze Music by Gerald Levinson
Nighty Soliloquy by Kent Kennan DEEPA MOHAN Flute winner, University Wind Ensemble concerto competition
Friday, December 6, 1996 at 8:00 pm The Cathedral Church of the Saviour 38th and Chestnut Street ADMISSION FREE 898-6244 co-sponsored hy SAC
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Thursday, December 5. 1996
SPORTS WIRE Asociated Press
IWo more problems arise in baseball labor deal NEW YORK - Baseball's pro posed labor deal hit a pair of snags involving bonus money and free agent rules, causing a delay yesterday of a ratification vote. Lawyers worked day and night to try to resolve problems in two areas: a $2.5 million dispute in 1996 post season bonus money; and deadline dates for 14 players who will gain free agent rights when the agreement is ratified. "We're hoping to wrap it up tomorrow," said New York Yankees pitcher David Cone, the American League player representative. "We hope to find a way to resolve things
amicably Union head Donald Fehr said he expected a ratification vote today at the players' annual executive board meeting in Dorado, Puerto Rico. However, he said, "We still have a lot of stuff to cover." Under the proposed agreement, which is retroactive to the 1991, son. the players' share of ticket money from the first three games of each first-round playoff series drops from 80 percent to 60 percent, with the dif ference going into an escrow account. If players exercise their option to extent the agreement through the
2001 season, the money would go to owners. If players decline the option. the union would get the money. Because owners waited until last week to ratify the deal, postseason checks already had been mailed, with the extra 20 percent of the first round money included in the player pool. The second area covers free agent rules for Alex Fernandez. Moises Alou. Jimmy Key and 11 others. The usual filing period is over, and teams must decide by Saturday whether to offer salan arbitration to former play ers who became free agents. Dates must be set for the new group U) die and for teams to make decisions
The Daily Pennsylva'
LOS ANGELES — Outfielder Brett Butler, whose comeback from can cer last September was cut short by a broken left hand, agreed yesterday to a one-year contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Butler. 39, played in 34 games for the Dodgers last season, hitting .267 with eight RBIs and eight stolen bases. It was discovered in early May that Butler had cancer of the tonsils, and he underwent surgery to removed a tumor. He rejoined the team August 26 in Montreal, and was activated
September 6. Butler played in just five games before being hit on the hand by a pitch from Cincinnati right-hander Giovanni Carrara. Butler had squared around to bunt, and the pitch hit his hand while it was on the bat. Butler missed the rest of the sea son. Shortly after he was injured, Butler expressed the hope that he'd be able to play in the postseason, but eventually realized that wouldn't be possible. "Brett has been a great contributor to the Dodger team and organiza-
tion, and we believe he can make a major contribution to the team next season," Dodgers general manager Fred Claire said. Shortly before breaking his hand. Butler told friends and several teammates he would retire at the end of the season. It s not an absolute that I'm going to retire I'll tell you that right now. Butler said the day after being in jured. "We'll reevaluate that over the winter." Obviously, he didn't need the entire offseason to make a decision.
Trump's claim that he won $20 million on Tyson bet is disputed LAS VEGAS - Donald Trump's claim that he won $20 million with a $1 million bet on Evander Holyfield against Mike Tyson was ridiculed yesterday by Las Vegas oddsmakers. "It's pretty preposterous," said Michael Roxborough, who sets the lines for the top Las Vegas sports
books. "I can't imagine anyone would take a $20 million jeopardy from someone who is not even a customer." Trump was quoted in the yester day's New York Daily News as saying he bet $1 million at 20-1 odds in Las Vegas on Holyfield to win the
fight. But those in the close-knit Las Vegas betting community said the story was hard to believe. Especially since the highest odds a gambler could get on Holyfield was plus-1700, or 17-1. and that was three months before the fight.
GAME
'Nova goes to 4-0 with 75-64 win over Friars VILLANOVA Pa. — Highly-touted freshman Tim Thomas made his home debut a memorable one, scoring a game high 29 points as No. 5 Villanova beat Providence. 75-64. lastnight at the duPont Pavillion. Thomas shot 9-for-i4 from the floor, includ ing 2-of-3 from three-point range, to give the Wildcats their fourth win in as many games. . \lvin Williams added 20 points, and Jason Lawson had 16 points, 13 rebounds and five blocks. DerricK Brown had 20 points and Austin Croshere 14 for the Friars (4 2) Trailing 45-33, Providence went on an 10-4 spurt to cut the Wildcat lead to 49-43 on a dunk
m
off the break by Ruben Garces with 9:48 to play. But a Thomas jumper and a three point er by Howard Brown restored Villanova's double-digit lead. Two Derrick Brown free throws culminated an 8-0 run that boosted Providence to within 6559 with two minutes to play, but Villanova made 7-of-8 free throws down the stretch to seal the victory.
BASKETBALL Spurs 113, 76ers 103 SAN ANTONIO - Dominique Wiikins.
Pace 17
STAN DINGS ♦ NAT! BASKETBALL ASSOC.
♦ NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE
EASTERN CONFERENCE ATLANTIC
Miami
New YorK Orlando Philadelphia Washington Boston New Jersey CENT»AI
Chicago Detroit Cleveland Atlanta Charlotte Milwaukee Indiana Toronto
W 13 9 8 7 7 •1 3 W 16 12 10 10
8 8 5 ■i
L ■1
6 5 8 8 11 9 L 1 3 5 7 7 8 8 11
Pet .765 643 600 .467 .467 .267 .250 PCT
941 .800 .667 588 533 .500 385 313
GB ■
5 5 8
-
GB 3 5 6 7
MIDWEST
Houston Minnesota Denver Dallas San Antonio Vancouver PACIFIC
Seattle LA Lakers Portland LA Clippers Golden State Sacramento Phoenix
W 15 13 7 5 5 2 2 W 14 12 10 6 5 6 1
L 2 2 9 12 10 13 15 L 4 6 7 10 11 12 14
Pet .882 867 438 294 333 .133 .118
L 8 9 12 13 15 12
T
PTS
Dallas Detroit Chicago St Louis Toronto Phoenix
W 16 15 12 13 11 8
0 0 4
33 33 27 26 22 20
PAC*K
W
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T
PTS
Colorado Vancouver Edmonton Los Angeles
16 14 13 11 10 9 8
6 11 13 12 15 13 14
CENTRAL
GB 1 10 11 12 13 GB 2 7 8 8 11
YESTEKOAV'S GAMES
Late games not included Atlanta at Detroit (n) Cleveland at Orlando (n| Dallas at Miami in. New York at New Jersey ln| LA Lakers at Ut.n Boston at Houston (ni Philadelphia at San Antonio (n) Golden State at PhoemIndiana at Vancouver in)
♦ NCAA MEN'S BASKETBALL THE AP TOP 25
GA 49 74 64 60 80 68 77 GA
Calgary San Jose Anaheim
36 28 27 25 22 22 20
Rli e«a
POINTS
1 5 1,370 1.206
GA 58 53 67 78 89 74 GA 56 77
71 64 67 70
81 75 86 85
•'.
-
10 756 16 V 18 19 20 21.
:.LA T< ■ Syracuse Boston College Ti. msas
24 Stanford 25 Virginia
YESTEROAT'S GAME
Late games not included Boston at Montre.i Vancouver at Buffalo mi Detroit at Washington (ni Philadelphia at N.Y Rangers mi Pittsburgh at Ottawa (n| San Jose at Dallas (ni Edmonton at Colorado ini Tampa Bay at Anaht
28 CoMogeofOw* RoDetAiaOama 12. UNLV 1.
4. NetGreeGeorgia Tec
TOOAY'S GAMES
Hartford at Boston. 7:30 p.m. Calgary at New Jersey 7 30 i: N.Y. Islanders at Florida, 7:30 p.m. Phoenix at St. Louis. 8:30 p.m. Tampa Bay at Los Angeles. 10:30 p.m.
TOOAT'S GAINS
Washington at Toronto. 7 p.m. LA. Clippers at Chicago. 8:30 p.m. Philadelphia at Dallas. 830 p.m. Portland at Denver. 9 p.m. Minnesota at Seattle. 10 p.m.
ToMOMOw's GAMES Anaheim at Buffalo. 7:30 p.m. Toronto at N.Y. Rangers. 7:30 p.m. Pittsburgh at Washington. 7:30 p.m. Montreal at Chicago. 830 p.m. Philadelphia at Dallas. 8 30 p m St Louis at Colorado. 9 p.m. Ottawa at Edmonton. 9:30 p.m.
Sports Night Editors: Scottie's got a gun: Broken finger by KB Toys. Nice banana split: Grape ice cream'': Penn l-AA: Mmm. cold FWOT. Gourmet Cl» •
RECAPS
playing in his 1,000th NBA game, scored 24 points to help the San Antonio Spurs break their eight-game losing streak with a 113-103 victory over Philadelphia last night. Avery Johnson also scored 24 points, including 18 in the fourth quarter and seven in the last 1:06. The injury-plagued Spurs, who have played all season without All-Star center David Robinson, improved to 3 13 with their first win since November 13.
Rockets 94, Celtics 89 HOUSTON - Charles Barkley scored 19 points and grabbed 27 rebounds as the Rock ets, bolstered by the return of Olajuwon from a heart problem, held off the Boston Celtics 94-89 last night.
Olajuwon returned to the lineup after missing Monday's loss at Toronto only the second Houston defeat this season — due to a second episode of an irregular heartbeat in two weeks. On Wednesday, be played 40 min utes and had 16 points, five blocked shuts and seven rebounds along with one steal and three assists as Houston improved to 16 I "I felt fine." Olajuwon said "This game helped me get in better condition I was wind ed tonight, but that is normal There was no discomfort"
BASKETBALL Flyers 1, Rangers 1 NEW YORK — For 53 minutes, the game
belonged to New York Rangers goaltender Mike Itichtcr. but in a Hick of a wrist it was Eric I.indros' night at Madison Square < rarden You could call a even after Lindros' goal .it l.i 28 ni the third period pulled Philadelphia into a 11 tie last night, but the Fivers knew the UndrOB goal meant the) were back in top form, and the Rangei I their shortcomings against the big. physical type of player that Lindros epitomizi The Ijndros goal was his first of th. Mason The Flyers captain missed the first 2.1 games of the season due to a groin injury and are now :i 2 since his return. Lindros beat Richter on a slap shot from the top of the left circle after Dale llawerchuk won a faceoff in the Rangers' zone and ; the puck back
Univ. of PA - Dining Services Reading Days and Finals Offerings NOW open until 2 AM!
rue Triangi^ Monday through Friday mornings (Sunday - Thursday evenings) come to STOUFFER DINING (37th & Spruce Streets) for Diner on the Triangle. Use a meal plan meal, or charge the $4.75 all-you-caneat cash price on r&. your PENNcard! DMRftTWMU
20
10 D . * Ml ■
GF 73 79 71 78 76 58 GF 95 77
DINING 3CRVKC5
Extended Hours Midnight - 3AM! 12/9-12/19/96
PHEV
50 4-0
74 69 99 77 68 89
WESTERN CONFERENCE
10
PCT
.778 .667 588 .375 .313 333 067
EASTERN CONFERENCE W L T Pis GF Florida 16 3 6 38 79 Philadelphia 1 29 74 >!ton 1 27 69 New Jersey 12 10 1 25 57 N.Y Rangers 10 13 4 24 90 N.Y. Islanders 7 10 8 22 63 Tampa Bay 2 16 66 NOHTMCAST W L T PTS GF Hartford 11 7 6 28 73 Buffalo 13 11 1 27 71 Montreal 10 13 4 24 93 Boston 9 10 4 22 68 Ottawa 7 10 I 20 60 Pittsburgh 8 13 17 ATLANTIC
9
WESTERN CONFERENCE
Butler decides to return for another year with Dodgers
>
Tomassitos
FREE Cookies and Coffee ^2/10-12/1^ 9PM to 2AM MONDAYS - THURSDAYS At the following locations ♦ Stouffer Dining Lobby 37th & Spruce Streets ♦ Hill House Dining STUDY AREA AVAILABLE 3333 Walnut Street ♦ King's Court / English House Dining STUDY AREA AVAILABLE 3465 Sansom Street
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BEIJING
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illic Daily {tomsijluattttin TOMORROW Read all of the stories and insights behind all of the weekend matchups and meets for eight individual Penn athletic squads.
INSIDE Brett Butler will return to the Los Angeles Dodgers after sitting out most of last year to recover from cancer of his tonsils.
SPORTS
Thursday, December 5,1996
Page 18
FOOTBALL NOTEBOOK
Rick Granata's tenure ends at one year The junior running back says the only definite thing is that he won't be at Perm next season. By Miles Cohen The Duly I'rnnsylvaiiian
Hello Michigan, goodbye Pennsylvania. Those happen to be the sentiments of junior running back Rich Granata, who. as of two weeks ago. appeared would be the top candidate to replace the graduating Jasen Scott as the Quakers' feature back next season But yesterday. Penn coach Al Bagnoli commented that the chances of Granata. who carried the ball 47
times for 265 yards, returning are slim at best. "Right now, it doesn't look like Rick will be back next season," Bagnoli said. "Most of his friends and family are back in Michigan, where he is from, and there is a good chance he will go back home." While Bagnoli seemed at a loss for why Granata is leaving, the junior transfer from Eastern Michigan put it bluntly "The way this year went for me on
the football field, I just lost my love for the game," Granata said. "I do not want to leave on a bad note. This team is a great bunch of guys, and I wish them all the best of luck." As for next year, Granata only knows one thing. "I am not sure what my future holds right now," he said. "I just know that there is no chance I will be back here next season." That leaves Jason McGee, who Bagnoli described as "very talented," waiting in the wings. However, in his two years playing varsity football, McGee has had little chance to prove himself, carrying just nine times for 78 vards.
With Granata gone, the rest of the backfield is a mystery. Sophomores James Finn and Bruce Rossignol. who were converted to defensive backs last summer, might return to their natural position at tailback, according to Bagnoli Freshman Melvin Alexander will also fight for carries as a sophomore. • Aside from Penn's backfield, it looks as though Bagnoli will again find himself administering another spring ball competition to determine the Quakers' starting quarterback. "I don't think anyone is a clear-cut favorite," Bagnoli said. "We are going to look at all four, and it really is up for
grabs right now." What that means is that neither junior Tom MacLeod nor freshman Bri an Russell, who both saw starting time this past fall, have convinced Bagnoli that they deserve to be Penn's No. 1 signal caller next season. Fighting it out with MacLeod and Russell for snaps will be sophomore Damian Swank and freshman Brandon Carson. Bagnoli added that he would real ly like to see MacLeod, Russell and Swank hit the weights this off-season to improve their arm strength and overall conditioning. See FOOTBALL, page 13
Laura Owyar/Tho Daily Pennsylvania!!
Junior Rick Granata, after transfering from Eastern Michigan last season, will no longer be with the football team.
Maldonado big threat for Lehigh
Fencing exhibition pits old vs. theyoung
When the Quakers face the Engineers tonight, Maldonado should again be a force down low.
In a three-year tradition, Penn fencing teams will host an alumni match.
By Tom Magee
By Stefany Williams
The Daily Penroylvani.111
The Duly Pennsylvania!!
Last year. Penn power forward Michelle Maldonado suffered in silence. Hampered by injury, she was forced to play out of her natural position for most of the season. With the inside presence of all-Ivy center Natasha Rezek and starting power forward Deana Lewis, coupled with the Quakers weakness on the perimeter, Maldonado usually found herself playing in the small forward spot instead of in the paint. A combination of injury and playing an unnatural position resulted in a largely ineffective and frustrating season, in which she and her teammates spent practically the entire year in the base ment of the Ivy stand W. Basketball League ings. at. Lehigh All of that « TONIGHT • 7 P.M. must make this year that much more special for her. In all three of the Quakers' games this year, particu larly in their season opening win against St Francis (Pa.). Maldonado's play has been eye opening. Once again playing as a power forward. Maldonado's dominant play inside proved the difference as the Quakers came back to beat the Red Flash. 73-67 Tuesday night, against a powerful St. Joseph's squad, she poured in 20 points in a losing cause. Maldonado's scoring, along with the inside presence of Lewis, who has moved to center, has more than made up for the graduation of Rezek and has at the same time put the frustration of a year ago to rest. ' I think she's surprised a lot of people — people who really dismissed her this year." Penn coach Julie Soriero said. The secret to Maldonado's success this year speaks volumes about what makes this year's edition of the Quakers so exciting. "It rests a great deal on Michelle's determination and work ethic." Soriero said. Maldonado will try to continue her recent success as the Quakers (12) attempt to break a two-game skid at Lehigh (1-3) tonight at 7 p.m. The Engineers, fresh off of their first winning season in six years, are led by senior co captain Moira Deakin. Deakin, like Maldonado. is trying to fill the shoes left by the graduation of her team's leading scorer and re bounder from a year ago, Kim Behrens. Soriero hopes that the matchup tonight will provide some experience for her team and will go a ways towards teaching the Quakers how to win away from the Palestra
PalopklM NIcolaidaa.Thp Daily Pennsyivanian
Senior Michelle Maldonado has been a big factor in the women's basketball team's balance. Maldonado has 46 points in three games, including a 20-point effort in a losing cause against St. Joseph's on Tuesday night.
By Brooke Donaldson The Duly Pennsylvania!)
After defeating Swarthmore on Monday, the Penn women's swim ming team is looking forward to this weekend's Colgate Invitational The freshmen, in particular, are looking forward to the race because it is their first away meet. "It's good to be swimming in someone else's pool It's a change of view and not so much like practice." Quak era breaiUtrokar Heather Wilder said "It's good because it's the last meet before break and finals We can just 'jo for it and see where we're at."
I
The upperclassmen on the team have long doted on the talent of the freshmen, claiming that what they bring to the team has made up for the talent lost to graduation last spring The Colgate Invite will feature Pem, Yale, Marist and the host Red Raiders. Since there are so many teams, the meet will be divided into three sessions, one tomorrow and two on Saturday. Additionally, there will be two heats for each event, a first for Penn swimmers this season. Such a spread-out schedule will al low the swimmers more time to rest between events. Penn. Marist and Colgate will shave for the meet, try ing to get their best possible times. "It's good that we're going to shave because I think that it's a good op portunity to make us feel fast in the SeeW SWIMMING, page 11 I
See FENCING, page 16
MEN'S BASKETBALL NOTEBOOK
W. Swimming frosh to test unfriendly waters Penn will have its first road meet, visiting Colgate this weekend.
The fencing program at Penn will be approaching its 100th birthday in the near future. The alumni match is a three-year-old tradition, started by fencing coach Dave Micahnik. that many are looking forward to attend ing. It is being held this Saturday in the Weightman Gym starting at 1 p.m. The purpose of the alumni meet is very simple, and, while the development aspect is a part of its goal, the main focus is to foster a positive relationship between past fencing teams and the present athletes. It is Micahnik's strong desire to link the generations, which has sparked such a popular event. "Fencing has a terrific tradition, and I would like to have continuity between the fencers and for them to have knowledge of one another," Micahnik said. He explained that there is something tragic about a new team entering without knowing its predecessors. "I want the current team to know and appreciate the people who went before them and how good they are to this day." Micahnik said. The historical meaning of women's fencing at Penn is very enriching. Margo Szabunia, the curator for ilie Center for the Study of the History o| Nursing at the Nursing School, wal Penn's first All-American woman fencer during the 1976-1977 season. She remembers the sport treating women differently than the men during her days as a Quaker. She explained how men were allowed five touches, while the women were limited to just four "Women were not given a choice of weapons and were only allowed to fence foil," Szabunia said. One of her fondest memories is of
Kreitz may have been overlooked in preseason With 24 points Tuesday night, Garett Kreitz showed he can and will be a team leader. By Brett Cohen The Dally I'ennaylvuuui
Kant Mafcmoa/The Daily Pennsylvania^
Junior Garett Kreitz, the leading scorer of the returnees, scored 24 points in Tuesday night's game versus Towson State.
Seldom is the leading returner scorer overlooked on a team which loses most of its starters. Yet the preseason talk about the Quakers rarely centered around guard Garett Kreitz. There was the hype surrounding Penn's freshman class, the anticipation of Rice transfer George Mboya donning a Penn uniform and the eventual returns of Jamie Lyren, Paul Romanczuk and Frank Brown following injuries. But Kreitz, who scored 9.0 points per game last year, was able to quietly go about his business. All that changed on Tuesday.
when Kreitz put on a long-range shooting demonstration at the Palestra against Towson State He hit 6-of-lO shots from down town on his way to 24 points. 17 of which came in the first half. Suddenly, it seemed as if the junior guard could not only be Penn's biggest outside scoring threat, but also the top overall scorer. While much of his success against Tow son State was due to the fact that the Tigers dared Penn to shoot the three, Kreitz showed his 40 percent three-point shooting last year was not an aberration. It appears the Quakers will once again have the perimeter scoring option so vital to coach Fran Dunphy's offense. For the Penn freshmen, the long wait is finally over. All of the first game jitters were See KREITZ, page 15
\
DECEMBER
1
9
Decembers, 1996
CONTENTS
Word on the Street
Streets Guide to Sinning College life fioilai one's most primal urges and encourages one's most indecent dosi RES A university such as ours is Masted with hormone-driven wild beings who indulge, imbibe, .ind intoxicate. It's a hard life for which one must repent in later years but feel only an ounce of remorse for in the present. We all commit — and perhaps should be committed for — The seven Deadly Sim As Style has captured n eloquentr) -this war, Penn students do it best or at least thev tr\ Rral ofcoune, then -college Sloth. It's that incessant laziness that force-, main a student to forego studving for the comfortable couch. Our society has become one of convenience The remote exists to assure that the college bum really doesn't have to mow — and food can be delivered. In college, pnvra-tination is as common as urination. Everyone di nv it and it creeps up at the most incom enient moments Lust. With testosterone and Httrngsjn raging through our limber bodies, lust amsumes the life ol many homy, lookin'-for-love— or more typically, lookm'-for-a-one-night-stand — students. It's when the loins wake up from dormancy and begin to lubricate. It's whin I dashing member ol the opposite sex excites our inhibitioRsand|umpst.irtsthelibido(I.ust, m lact.be1| mas Stronger when the object of lust acts aloof and uncaringi It is not synonymous with sex, although the Iwo together can make a passionate pair. And when finallv being consummated. v. HI on tell it's lust when the condom wrapper is nppedotfbelon'the cloth.
Gluttony covers a wide range ot coflege ar>
ti\ lues Most of us lead live ot Men .ition balanoed with tour nights of absolute over-indulgence Have a beer? OK. I'll take 10. Have s smoke? OK, I'll have a pack and a half. Have a cheesesteak? OK, and fries covered with Cheese Whiz please. Need some sleep? OK, I'll take 13 hours on a Saturday afternoon Gluttony is committed every day, from extra-tang naps to drugs to TV watching. We are all creatures of excess and conspicuous consumption. And we shouldn't change a thing. Envy. The commandments sa\ Thou shall not covet. But we do. It's sort of like that phenomenon when a parent tells a voung child specifically not to Jo something, and then the child can't help but do it because it became offlimits Here too. Envy occurs among college coeds (probably provoked bv lust), People want what belongs to someone else. A guy is considered ,i good catch it he's already taken. A girl is considered hot — when she's unavailabta (My roommate summed that up for me once). People want what others have; they are envious ot wh.it someone else esteems only because the value of something then becomes apparent. It is an age-old behavior of the human race because we will all live in perpetual dissatisfaction so long as "new prospects come on the market (or the Walk) each war The average college student feels Greed, that powerful emotion that makes you want and want and want. So you take and take and take — but you never give It - "an excessive desire to acquire or possess more than w hat one needs
or deserves, espedaDj with Kspecttomaserial
Cover Story >by Lara Parker
wealth." You want more mone\ to spend on vour gluttonous activities You want more time to hang out and do nothing. And you want more beer and buds for every occasion (issed is a common characteristic for the college-aged group because we want — and de everything, but want to earn it with the least amount ofeffort. Wrath \ lolent unrestrained anger. This most often occurs in VVharton when someone breaks the curve. I can imagine manv snippv Whartonites freaking out because thev were below the mean or the computer froze while doing OI'IM. This doesn't happen in the College, though The regular people of Penn do not experience Wrath. hnally there's Pride This too is rampant in Wharton Business students are way too enamored with themselves and are wr\ proud that Wharton is always named the number one business school in the country Then thev look .it the gcA'ks pictured In the NBOKSSMfa - photo of Wharton students and Wrath ensues. Now, when College students hear about the Successful careers guaranteed for all Wharton students, thev experience EttVJ YOU see how this .ill works'1
Sloth. Lust. Gluttony. Env\ Greed Wrath Pride. Penn students embod] 1 he Se\ en Deadly Sins. They are mate teelings that cannot be controlled or contained. But don't be ashamed. In the grand schemed University 1 wing our sinners are mon> angelic than most other college students I mean, come on, we go to I'enn So for now, indulge, repent, and enkl)
Farewell Lor the past
couple
of
I've been Irving to figure out how to say farewell to Street, It's like the time |iist before you left for college and \ i HI had to sav goodbye to a high school sweetheart you -till cared for — you wanted it to go on tor ever, but you knew that the relationship was over because you H ere going to be so l.ir apart. It really shouldn't DC that hard I ruth be told. I've had a lot ot moments of pun' misery working here: sleepless luesday nights, intense pressure i. lite, loss of an academic life, and countless agonizing arguments with my Icllow editors and man let through it all there have been those simple moments that have made it all worth while Like the time I met ( "Mr. Sulu" Take) al s campus book signing When I told him I i. edltoi tor llie I'enn arts and entertainment magazine and
that I wanted to do a story about him, he looked me straight in the •id said in hi- dassu Suhi voice, 'Oh mj Or the time I met Sir Anthonv Hopkins at the press junket tor Sixon. During what should have been .' generic entertainment in-
—2
ingness to put in extra hour- g< it me the job But for all the hell Street has put me through — sisepiess nights, last minute rewrites, internal political struggles, innumerable computer Patrick Steward wished death crashes, the loss ot previous time that might have been spent with upon me. )ohn Sayles—the direcmj girltnend but instead was spent tor of Ltnte Star talked to me in the in the window I.NS Pink I 'alace Purkibby of the Four Seasons lercniv Btorj — thcevpcricn.e was more Northam (the dashing English K than worth it. tor in l.mma and Tlic Net) invited It's not just the perks, either It's me up to his room at the Seasons the people seeing me on the Walk Phone conversations with Everett and Saying, "Hej great issue1' It's I Ha kman" Peck. Chns Tex Mursitting in 2(1 (_ ommons watching a phv' lores, and Doug I arthwomi table lull ot people laughing out jim" TenNapel have given me inloud as thev mad Start. Seeing a sight into the minds of people who tangible resU|| (1| ,i|| mv |0]| \g s,, created some ot my favorite charmuch more rewarding that the acters "Weird Al" Yankovic htmseM ephemeral letter grades assigned posed lor me pseiido-randomh tonn dasswork I don't want to give it all up. Ihroughout my tour and a hall All the free software, Q K and Mar- at Penn, I've Ivon imohed movie screenings are no more \t WithOlUy three organizations the ter todat 1111 no longer a member Science and Technology Wing, the of the press I'm off to an informaPenn Table tennis Hub ,,i tion technology consulting job I \edis,oven\l that commitment to whew HI trade in my ripped jeans an activity yields tar greater reand I ile is more than looking like w aids than a | ursorv membership a Gap ad "T-shirt lor business calor the sake ot resume' padding sual I m wondering it it's not too M\ time hen'is done, ami then' late to change my major to comare mam more things I u bJt I could munications do before I leave It Id gotten In In reality, I'm much Niter at fixvoK id earlier. I might w had time ing computers than at entertainBut whether you're a freshman oi ment journalism. Sure. I've pulled a senior, tmd something you like my own weight as Staffs Manag you, dea readers for everything mg EditOI this seincMcr, but 1 rx'.il- and dedicate yourseM ton even it you've done for me, bet SUM it - Iv wasn't qualified for the title. A it means a slip m the or (, I' \ |; bivn a pleasure working tor vou. httk'bitot luck and B lot ol v.iil sieve me. it's worth the effort
ten lew, he began to tell a heartfelt stOIJ about how his father worked himself to death to support his poor family. Or playing game guru and personal idol Dr. Richard Garfield in a game of Magic The Gathering. Losing never felt so good. Or just recently when l biter •. lewed rabbi Howard Alpert for my "Who is (tod?1 feature During our talk, he told mean amazing tale of when he was held hostage by a gunman and how his taith guided him through the experience. True, I've had some remarkable experience-, in my time with Street, But I think m\ beat tunes Over the past year hawn't been in interview s but right here on campus in day-to-day life There's nothing like the levhng ot having a random person come up to you at a partv or on the Walk and say Hey, you're the editor of Mm aren't you? Oh man, I love that thing' Great column last week -keep it up. man' I don't know what I'm going to be when 1 grow up, but w rit mg sure sounds nice And knowing that my words have touched others making people think or making people laugh — well, that s n hat it's all about So thank
Street visits Atlantic City, the Mecca of free money and broken dreams. •fry Ben Dietz Page 10
sloth Something or other Some film I slept through By Who Cares? Reviews: The Cult Movie of the Week: Cult film
envy All those bands that want so desperately to be as good as real bands but aren't. You know the ones we're talking about.
greed Beavis and Butthead Street kicks it in L.A. with the Man Behind the Morons, Mike Judge. He even told us how he thougt up Cornjulio; if you want to know, send money By James Ingraham
wrath Tlte top 15 things that piss us off.
12
By Matt Dworkin, illustrations by Nye. Pius: The last lzzy 'n' Tiger and Those Bullsliit lines We Hear Wfien We're Being "Let Down Gently."
lust Tomb Raider
14
She's smart, she's sexy, she's tough, and she'll blov. you way with Uzis if you fuck with her. Lara ( rules ,il| cyberspace. By James Ingraham Reviews: Who's Fat Lou, Singled Out, jeopardy, and Leizurt Suit Larry VII: Love For Sail The World Wide Web Site of the Week: Soul
pride
17
A vktun o| sloth?Not if we can help it, and we know we can. Unless y< m do what OUI expert guide writers s,i\, you ;ire ,K,iiiiplcte Iciser. ■ • ■ : IntmmmrMl-. PI fa) k-iiint u. «c .1 .«n *« |«K. Issir .1- let .or
Decembers, 1996
Sinful Street Doing Shots of Scotch pn Ganlmo Wanton Wonunizing ftmtt Ingraham Not Driving Us Places Lauren Shaffer Nude Photography Ura ft Leaving Street Leaving the DP Done Shafrir Writing E-mail Under the Influence
NtttUeDamq Coveting Little Girls ■ tiler Clashing
BemtmiH Dwj Random Acts of Kindness Damtl I ic'iiivry Conspicuous Absence /I»I Kaufthal Selling National Secrets to Russia
Slant PltfeoVwbt Excessive Studliness Gary ■ Dressing Like a Hassidic Cowboy
Hollo, nn name is I at sheila and I am addicted to food AS part of mv therapy, I have bivn asked to tell mv story to you today in the hopes that no one out then- will ovor repeal on mistakea I am-un-that many oi you kuK ,mt then' may look at .ill the Lit people ill the world ,ind
lets! Do Hi I unction! think one of the saddest days of mj life was when I got nfixtixl Ironi tlieilnxrle.Kl ing team lliex s.nd nn Juxr was weird nn JaiHenHitim-was uninspired and nn stubborn desire to he at the top oi tlie human P] ramid was somewhat inle.isible
think, "lle\' lli.it - me damonus lifestyle I ward to Bve Well I am lien1 to fell vou th.it repeatedly consuming man iiamtitsasoffood isnotasglam onus .is you might think. The pain .md anguish thai come w itli
I eventual) bundagroupoffriends bul
gluttony is k) never -tart in the tir-t place
allottlvm wereeithiTt.itorn'.ilh uglv Its interesting how everywhere l go me t.u andufd} peopk always become friends I haveafways wondered wh) llusphenomenon occurs si l wenl to mj s» feasoi and asked hint SKI,.|,igj I'nii(s.s,rSchviant/, why is it that ■ tat and the ugh always tend to he friends H ith each other? I- it because nobodx else H anlsto be OUI friend and we an' forced to hang out with our own'
Gkittony
Ves Now getawa) from me you nMp
a lite.'I gluttony .in' not worth it
You may not have known th.it gluttony cant ."is.1 siuh dangerous aide effects as extreme weigh) gain big nt stomach big i.it butt snd big t.ii hoe just to name ■ iavi The ke) to avoiding don't pl.iv that game.
MM Daortm Stalking Penn Athletes
SaukB Breaking More Cameras than lames Ltrlun Hochtem Using a Macintosh C/iri- I • Misinterpreting British Romantic Poetry
Kevin Lemer Being Jason's Yes Man Picfer Randolph Cmeo Baldness
fan I Better than Ezra Obsession
timer) Nugent Acts Against Cod too Frightening to Mention limit Phut), (art />' S M, Kenirt Dak. Timbma, KeronSmith, Caralyn Cilotti Ion K, r.mmel. Relvcea frma Matner fey ■'■ liot Whitney, Carl [race, Pitgn Sim. I'hti pm umh V'-.e. IntkHI That
..:.i, /'rjii.-j.
Bauchrap, Sett Lmtr, Dint Ran I mtu Goodwin, Mecca Hutdunaon, Met Kimna • Dwayne Wmtoxgfem, Dai-id Mnliel 11. wrioi I act) I eM I Scoff Unman. \im Bixmnti, Sad* Thuckei llallie Miltleman. CmUm Regao, M-r Ametjf, /indiraStewart. Julie Vai-bnn DavidQuinttliani. Sarah Giulian.Chn- Kern .,.'. FrMcn /1 j
Ahifiat Mto Clio. Smmunt Kurapati. Rot.
The Beginning of my Addiction I think it was very early in my childhood when I became SO at traded to bod I blame mv parents mostly I think it is absolutely true that (hildten will imitate the' actons ot their parents. And Kith of mv parents uere large people Mj mother was | meal COOk; iinlortun.itolv. her nvi|y book umt.imod onlx disha that wen' lull of Lit I or instance JUS) glancing thmugh thebook.then'.in'iix'.ilsinlx'n'like, "h\i'kt\l l.il. Oared Lard." and "Raw Cow Portions Andforourbeve always had ■ choice ofeither Shasta Orange Sods or fcying pan greaas I or dessert, my mother usually served
sonielhliig nom her dossal mJpu buuk faatanwee, jusl |Usl 2* gbn'ing thnuigh the book, then' an' desserts m here re Ufa f Pineapple I psideDown Meat and "Raw Cow Portions
'< lnvolateChipMi xlc.it, F
Vvdlesstosav I w,isas(>rnewhatOVerweightchld 1 flunk mj wool tnemorj as a e hJU H as m the 5dl grade when our J.iss v. as putting on that famous William siiakespe.m- pl.n Romeo and Jului lauditioiHOlorthen>leot)ulktbuttiv'\ gave it to a skinm. beautiful girl instead of me. In fad. the din Mr Hyma told me that there was no part for me to plav IM as so upset that I began to en-, and Mr. Hymer felt so bad that he changed the play a bit and wrote in an extra part for me Si in the Reagan Momentary Sth grade pnxluction of RoBKBSnd fu/irf, instead of ending with the ilmiactu double suicide scene, our pl.n ended with Romeo and luliet being eaten by the I at Blob of IVath.
Christian \ Stailer, AnahJa Hernandez. Randi
feigenbtm, Matin Kaiz. \tal Arcadia Bmmdk Bouemr\ ■ id S.Butleruvrth, Rico Rodriguez. Kale Kahlih. JackieLaPlaca. Liz Scanlon. tdnick. Jessica Ranick, Ben Xavier Kim Wot fy Kerm. Meredith Motlcu. Uura Paw, Bryan lame-.. Damn) Kliatib font Adilman, Kim JUIIMI. Ted Gill, hmnijtl l-tan-. Ueanore Grama, Jamie I eldman. Rim Sum. MsarWH Tliactk. Elm I ROM Ale Milard Steve Capnlo, Audrey Beth Stein. The Ace, fmwx Chm. Sarah Chu, Ben Gardnei Hadis. Paul Vinelli, Dante Vjtamme, Daniel (Wiyi. Dave Sebag, Suzy Hansen. Alyssa Deaven. Brian rimZafpm,lak Ciardmo, DvtaM Long, Gavin ntittrman Mnsrfta Dvivedi. Josh Dunn. Andrew I Lime. Zeb Sfeetor, Bradley Ryan. Mike Sendrmo. Robert Rutkin. Rachel Gtmwerg, Eric GeUaUn, Nut Warburton ■<'1°%.M<* Street Magazine. I ho Mb I'cnn-v Ivan lan. Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express H ritten consent of the editors. All rights reserved Utl u is published by 'Erie Daily Pennsylvania Inc.. 4015 Vl .limit st Philadelphia. PA I9l6t every Thursda) during the fall and spring Mneettn except vaemon and when we're mectm Mime baby in the Tiki lounge at 6 in Ihomornm
lieu Km, will you vkttOCOff) yMtram >or at' Editorial ! 169 fasten 898 6581 l.i. NC I -mail stnvr8dp.upenn.edu http /1»»M dp.u|H'nn adu Mitel
Denial (blaming it on genetics) After numerous attempts to stop eating and lose w eight. I entered astageofdeni.il. I thought to myself, [don't have a pniblem I am fat because of genetics. I am big boned. Some people in tin- world an' jus naturally supposed to ho large I began to teel better about nn -ell Then my good friend jimmy pointed out to me that maybe I was i.it because I ale extreme amounts of tood, never exercised, anc1 sinelkx.1 had Nut I pointed out to him that skinm peopk smiehmes smell bad But then he pointed out to me that w hen skinn\ people smell bad, tliev take show en. and then they smell good Eat people smell b.ki all the time, he said
Low Self Esteem After the denial stage, my self-body image plummeted and I w ent thmugh a period of low self esteem. I was so ashamed of my bodv that I tned to hide from people. Because of my bad attitude, I had a hard time making friends, I tried out lor the cheerleading team and was really excited about the rvallv clever cheer 1 made up. It went something like tlu-
The Friendly Fat Person Mter that dcuiasBUj period, I II.KI a sudden inspiration I Ktight this biHik titled raOumce. How to win frientism&tnjhmaritoBKwhm uou arc it ftafly overweight person I he book showed me that it inot how you look OH the outside' that C0UTU3, but rather what kindot person you are on the inside So I deckled to show the world that I w as a nice person and that I had a good person aim because I could laugh at myself So I started making i.it |oki-> to try and make people leel mOR comlortable w ith me thought they were pretty funny In tact hen' an' some of nn
jokes "Ybuknovi wh] EatoeopfesrnellrobadalthetinwTbiKausi we sweat so much and sweal is realh stinky! "Why did the tat person cross the toad? Because then' M as a I Rl I 11 \U I HI III I on the other side and tat people lo\ ctoeat I Kll LUNCH BUFFET "How many fat peopfe can you fit into a RI \l l'i -mall . ,ir' Mane because fat people are so fat that thev don t tit into Kl All > small cars' I ■ H ni realized thai mam tat pn >ple h.n !■ tried this tactu before me I he WOtld is lull ol tat people with good pcrsonalitR-- who can laugh at themselves l.ix'kat Roseanne Kosntl Umnell and livPanos Sure people laugh at us bet ause »e re funrq and they might ex en t> 'Ur.it.- being near us lor a while, but when it is all OVCS. mm retreat b.uk to their ion-i.it lives and Inc.is it we never existed, I was Irving a lie.
Time to Get Help \lv life was spinning out ot control Mv daSUC to eat consumed me but I kept living my life oi gluttony Ispentalofmymone) on food I was broke So I deckled that th«- only thing I could was sell mj KKU tor money to sustain mj food addiction I became a prostitute \lx lirsl trick was this weird gin who was trying to dnnk hinisell to
death I grew kind oi attached to him and wanted to take care of him So I made him live with me It was fun lor a while he Called me his angel and drank I lot I tell a sort ot bond w ith him I lecould not slop drinking and I could not slop eating It all ended w hen. as he w as d\ ing I w anted to do
Something special lor him so I got on top of him so that I might n'lun e hip.nn I \er\ thing is nn,. now imirangelisheretotakeyou to Heaven. "I said I remember his dying words as he Itxiked up at me with his beautiful lace and said. I'le.w transfer me to I It-IP There was nothing left lor me I kncM it was time lor me to get help I had hit nxk bottom. So last year, I checked myself into the William Jennings Bryan Rehabilitation Center. Thev have been ready helpful to me and 90 lit I have lost 250 pounds Sharing mv storv w ith others has really helped me a lot Some day, I will walk out of here and i will be a normal person Some day
Sin, Tequila and tears. END OF SEMESTER BASH FOR CONTRIBUTORS FROM ALL TIMES. BRING YOUR AIR SICKNESS BAG WE'LL SUPPLY THE TURBULENCE. THURSDAY, 6:00 pm 4015 Walnut 3—
nL"9\
November 21 nd, 1995
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BULLITTPROF starring Richard Burton and Elbert "Spuds" Mackenzie SEVEN - some film company starring some guys
rf*
■way from the seriousness of his surroundings. Starring in the tilm, aside from IMi and Freeman is newcomer Kevin Spacey, the ")ohn Doe'' brain behind the entire murder scheme The strategic and Gluttony. Creed. Sloth. Pride. Lust. Wrath terrorizing murder plot are Strengthened \ murder representing each Suspense md terror build in David I incher's new movie bv Spacey's performance. Be prepared to grab onto vour tnend Starring Brad I'itt and Morgan Freeman. arm at certain points tor there are a lot of With each death is i different one oi the seven deadly sins written in blood, directed at the au- gorv shots When the music is racy and Idience, The madness begins in ■ series oi quick your heart is pumping, the anticipation is spellbinding It's definitely a little difficult to tathom exactly THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES - Tristar how the murders were performed, if not disturbing and directed by Barbra Streisand upsetting. Aside from the graphic and bloodv dead bodies, the movie is well thought out, with the seven deadly sins forever in the back shots of decapitated heads, dead bodies, and >ther violent shots throughout the credits. ln- of the viewer's mind, wondering when the nur derer will strike next. •tantlv, the viewer is brought into this c.iptiv at The intricacies associated with each murd r are ing murder mystery. Brad I'itt and Morgan Freeman portray the not merely a word with a dead body. Screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker has arcwo investigating detectives, in a I etnal Weapon emulation with I'itt as the rookie David Mills hilly chosen each sin to coincide with a dit 'rent sodetal criticism. This social criticism place Sirnd Freeman as the soon-to-be retiree, William en on an entirely different level. As the mi den tiomeraeU. Both I'itt and Freeman evoke sympaunfold, the viewer is forced to take a did 'rent thv and frustration from the audience in their leemingly endless quest lor the murderer How- look at the society which surrounds us. For here is a "deadly si i on even street come' and every home Beyond social rriti dam is the symbol c use of the title, seven.! even da) - is the length >t tin Investigation 7:01 sthi time is tmal mux BJ '-1discovered seven dead Iv sins is the murderer1! final goal Does he eve reach his goal? When will number seven lead Mills ,md Somersettl Seven is ,i tu isted, cap tivating tilm where thi viewers .ire placed on the edges of their seats always keeping in mindl the haunting ques tion which of the in en deadly sins is next — gluttonx. greed sloth, wrath, pride, lustl or envy - Francesca
*~ t
^ ----'
5e7en
NATALIE DON'T RUN THIS. IT IS THE WORST FILM REVIEW EVER."•"**
Hfiiin /lion;
AThis movie sucks
—Jesse Ihukrr
Diminutive Floridian, SWM seek ing same for golf, swimming, fondue dipping, and acting like a prick. Not picky; can't afford to be. Call evenings 898 6585 Large, and in Charge. SWK looking for life partner who's a tall drink of melted butter. Seeking companionship, moonlight dinners, and help getting through doorways. Call Sheila. 417-6260
SINTHETIC PLEAZURS Gorg Orwll bl w it John Carpntr is in immdiat dangr. Stank Kubrick in*, donmd \n imillr youf paranoid ugicallv into th socitv ol 1984 Rgardtasofhow von look at the nation's prisons, w hav on yar to rali/e th chaos ol scape from Xw York. Ami, no mat y is going to b lat for his |amiary 12, lWffbirlhdul lllor .ill ..I you I udditsoiit Ihr npice, prhaps von should go Ihlk Pltsurs, a rcntlv rlasd documentary which shows thai raBrj is scar] nough Hi . SOMELAZV tSSHOUFOR' '111 "l"s|\ nils I REVDJW SCOT! WOULD WX MIMH'I lll\(. HUM l\ III I OKI 1111 s|( 11, is
ionawr?TttANKs,
•vet, sseach ski appears, the closer the twobeOOie, BO each other, and to ending their search, Men lightening up this dark.-iis|H'iis<'tiil movie is Mill's humor His quips were well placed and ,\ell tuned, adding a light laugh, but not taking
—4
PERSONALS
O^i0
Too many Imags ol pain) footag and boring subjcts COW to mind. With its mix of computr-animatd footag of shining bald automatons and ml HI tootag spd into an obvious hmog to Ciodfry Rggio's kou wntequatst, Syntktu P plays Mk an old pisod of Mr.
Wizard on ASM. Somtims this cinmatic styl works powrfully. lh imags that machins produc can bstrikingly baulilul. simulating watr or buttrflis in a way which impnn upon th modi cratd bv Mothr Natur. It is only thn that v OU rail/ iiist how scary that <■•■ lhi" poinl in d nvw horn with vigntlfi nhnwiag hew popl ii> u'liwfi technology to chang who thv ar. Th prformanc artist who undrgos ptaatfa -urgrv (graphically shown on scm) to look lik th Mona Lisa may b nough to fore many popl undrground SynthrJc l'la-w- is powrful a nd prsuasiv, but it gos too fa"""'
PtUHTS, which has «.k.»,..l !•*.«> ,„rt«hl«.l-jnil||n>. bn touring film fstivals and tragic to listn to Timotln sine its rlas last v.ir, pos ^.Vji its th ida that th world Lary waxing iQIic about is. m lad, shit With smart drugs,'' xlndd in,rvius pollution, nvironmWitty Picture Caption H ilh Intrnl dni/ns sm rdundant nlal disastrs, noisily So, whr ar lh flying cars? Whr transmittd disass, and th population \pl* ar th adorabl but intllignt robots? Who know-' th-vwtrld isn't a fun plac to liv anvmor BaskaL Synmfic P/iisurs dosn'l vntui into that Kind ol Iv. ratty sucks With that in mind, poplhuvdndd COnjdur. Thr ar much coolr things coming our In ital nw Imthi, m'lip.iulnld rnlili i. nml ivnlhlw way. BMUS ol linding plu iiii -Danil tilting Dim't think abmil th liliu u , | ,|„, vinuit.irv
April 20th, J947
Produced in 1774, Jim Hensons The Dark Crystal is a P'"»cer in the rea&lm „, myjtjd |,u. „ ,,„„ adventure (ilms. The story of tt*4. the lone SUtVfMr I'^fl holoam "9Xsl ;Wm/i COnSHfWd 'u- er/M■'■ ■
unfolds anridsl a host ol H tzards fairies and PEMPW bound togethei by a common mission to reStON light to the world using the power ol the gnat) l I r\ ttal Oracle I hough (he characters are dar"ker, more complex, and in some cases more hideous than any latter-day Muppet. Han son unleashes his puppet wizardry with his usual flair for high-energy antics and wry hum cryptic dmucter represents J perfect synthesa of abstract creativity md hamb-m pupfvt A The legend of the dark i rystsJ spans generations, captivating hordes ol m*yrhk species with its spir Itual energy Shattered by an evil. power-hu2ngry race ol bc.is|s |n|, (n grTal lies dormant lor cen-
lO'1' ....
turies, awaiting the replacement ol a missing shard of glass. Only Jen, the Chosen one, can find and return the shard, restoring the crystal to wholeness and vanquishing the darkness thai consumes the realm. Jens solo journey, guided only by the memory of his dead masters prophetu words, car-
lander lives out his portion ol tut i iii thulium breath nl Inn linfiUti'P In ililuli' llii' lilm . nelv three minute1 ul liin •r\ detail ol the selling Scenery,
sVtf-rulfilkHlotherworld \ rics on a full exploration ol I ie returns from the icorld of The *—""'-'-«-in search
■ The Warehouse ■
4040 Locujt St. ■ 243-2221
nK ,i breath below the sur-
- Natalie Deniieu
Witty Picture Caption
Beauty and Clare Dailies A new take on Shakpear's Classic film by Dory Saflr This is not your father's Romeo and Juliet. nor is it vour mothi i or even vour dog's. Australian director B.i.' Luhrmann's i tly Ballroom) sophomore effort — which hecaOs William Shakespemt's Romeotni Juliet — is a far cry from anything to hit the theaters in recent memory. It's a ( \ COT-HOA ol sight and sound, a visuallv «fniaing montage that is at once an incredible success and a miserable failure. Luhrmann has liken
Sftafaspeaw's most ftnoiu play ami rraasformed it into a modern-day, fut-pteea] Udeofknetndhtk.pttsiou tad power, The letting is gritty Veroru
Beach, tlu'time i>the present aid the langmge is from the Vth-centurjf. The tone of the film is s(t by the lead sequence of a small television screen on which a newscaster eagerly relates that Romeo and Juliet, the beautiful children ol twoot Verona Beach's leading, and dueling, tannins, have committed suicide. From there the Mini races off at breakneck speed, through a gasstation confrontation between the Monlague11 (Borneo "liimi lv, top the who weren't paying alien linn m llHh guide Eng liihliiiul the liipulet'i IJuliet'i kinl—W*> rooviedooMiilu'iiliHle gelling used to. The
old-fashioned dialogue does not always |ibe with the char.u lets present day sub texts; the fight scenedo „et tiresome rather quickly because the
Images] Is simply too quick, and the language constantly rails to
mesh seamlessl) with the action Rut "tiresome" does not describe the red ol the film, by any means The love scenes between Romeo (Leonardo DiCaprio, in the role thai should iemen( Ins teen idol status) and (uliet (Claire Danes) are tender and beautiful, demonstrating that the language of lo ve needs little updating
From the pair's first encounter on opposite sides of a ~_... ,_ . —M. __—...«-.. ted development of their relationship is well-executed and exciting But much of the character depth of Sha speare is lost in the translation. Danes's character is one ble. perhaps because -lu playi her role with a classic understatediHss. while manv ol the others are simple too melodramatic to be realistic Indeed, the visual elements of the lilm ■ten so overblown that they become almost campy, There are just a few too manv gratuitous shots of DiCapno staring off into the distance, his sun-
kissed locks sweeping gently across his forehead — TYc'i mngii vine h iiiil" nl dork menacing cluud'ihov er-ing above Vewnii Keiich >\ noliihle is the final scene, which could have easily d •'generated irttodWBSJ shlock but is rescued b
y Danes and Di-
> aprio's tortured portray, ils ot flu li The look of
fouple.
mutual horror that cro
race the lovers' faces as they realize — too I lie' - rSj>MM"'B("l*,J'"*'Ml *■"—■'•'—•"atal poison, is an image that is difficult to li: The supporting cast has several standouts, notably Harold I'err Ineau .is.i Mtrculioior the'Ws Paul Sorvmo
.i- stormy Juliefa t.ither, and Miriam M.u golyes as Juliet's now-Hispanic nurse
Witty Picture Caption While this updated Romeo and Juliet does not always fulfill the ante it hasitaell lipped. the lilm b nonetheless an ambitious project that does succeed more often than not.
5—
December 5, 1.9.96
MC ENVY
DYLAN ENVY Don't bother trying to deny it Even it you don t really realize it. you, like i'\ eryOM eba in the world, want to be Bob Dvlan. Just ask Adam Duritz lust ask Peter, or Paul or even Mary. Ask his son Jakob. Ask the B] rjs Ask Lou Reed. Askjimi Hendrix. Well, maybe)imi won't be too talkative, but all ol the others could go on for hours about the effect that Bob Dylan has had on their lives and on their careers. Not bad kit a funny looking man with a fake Arkansas twang and only the most marginal guitar skills. While even' solo female artist since 1965 has wanted to be either Joan Baez or Janis Joplin, Bob Dylan has spawned a generation of copyLit- 1 ven the greats of the past lew decades owe him a debt of gratitude. Without Bob Dylan there couldn't have been a Neil Young or The Band Hell even the Greatful Dead brought the former Robert Zimmerman along on several tours. Never in the annals of musk has an arti-t combined Iht anger and poetry 0( I W Hole generation with Dylan's cadence and melody. Don't think twice; it's alright to want to be Bob Dylan. — loshua Dunn
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ZKPPLIN ENVY As any two bit ho with a strap-on will tell you, there's nothing like the real thing I'm sure that girl Irom the 4 Non Blondes, who butchers "Mistv Mountain I lop,'' has faced this dilemma and probablv even Darius Rucker Irom the Blowfish, who mangles "Hev I lev What Can I Do." On vocals for Tangerine" is. . Bob Dvlan? No, it's that guv Irom Big I lead [odd A ha! the hell is he doing on a tribute album after admitting that he s never re.illv listened to "Stairwav to Heaven!?! "And who decided that I lelmet should do "Custard Pie' I lead I loncho #1: We need at least one good band for this damn album. How about the Rolling Stones1 I lead I loncho #2: Mick keeps coming on to me. Head I loncho "1: How about Nirvana' I lead Honcho #2:1 le - dead Head Honcho *l:Metallica' I lead Honcho #2: They scare me Head Honcho #1: The Smashing Pumpkins? I lead Honcho #2: Corgan's head is too big. Head Honcho #1: Helmet' Head Honcho #2: Yeah! There was once this incredible band of mythical proportions. They partied harder than a Republican doing the Macarena and had more women than Wilt the Stilt at halltime They sold their soul to the devil (Atlantic Records), who decided to put out a tribute album to make major dlK SIS This album was called Encomium, which in Latin means "big fucking sell out.' This is their storv. -SolAbuliak
I recently spent an afternoon listening to Shaquilk* O'Neal's new album, You Cm I Skip I'IC Reign. At first, I thought that Shaq just couldn't rap, but then I said to myself. "F\ ervone seam to want to be a rapper today bid DM Maybe I jusl don't know what I'm talking about." I decided to call my friend Total Control to get a second opiruoa I le was a rich white kkl turned rapper (in the Marky Mark mold) and he could really rock the mic Mavbe, I thought, he had a different take on the album. TC: What up! TC in da hooooouuuuuse!!! Me: Hev, Total Control, it's Doug TC: What up, homey?!! Me: What do vou think of Shaq's new alblum? TC: Phat! Me: Ready? So you like the Genesis sample on "Edge of Night'1' TC: Crazy phat! Me: And Bobbv Brown's back-up vocal role on "More to Life?" TC: Dope phat'! Me: But Total Control, don't you think it's weak that an NBA superstar, like Shaq, is trying to play off his popularity in order to become an MC? TC: Shaq's just keepin' it real, money. Me -\nd vou don't mind that most of the tracks are extremely generic and self-indulgent? II rhiggitv-phat' Me: Wow, thanks Total Control. TC: Word! Hey, I guess I was u rong about Can't Stop the Reign... Wait a minute' Total Control never could rock the mic. Neither can Shaq. But at least Shaq can play basketball. Total Control couldn't do that either —Doug Roberts
PRINCE ENVY Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here this day 2 get through this thing c ailed. . envy Electric word, enw. It means jealously engendered DJ another's good fortune. That's a mighty pathetic condition, and in Paisley I'ark there's a short black guy guilty on infinite accounts of this repugnant sin. Some call him The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, although My Name Is An Unpronounceable Androgynous Hiero glyph. And I Am Sucky is more appropriate. Twelve years ago, the genuine Prince bequeathed 2 the world his liturgical Story Purple Rain, in which the blazing inferno of a fierv roc k star is quenched by his inability 2 write songs that gratify anything other than his own sexual fantasies. It rocked harder than a magic kiss. I ist vear, MNIAUAHAIAS exposed the full naked body of his envy by releasing Come It's an attempt 2 make his real-life transformation into a foppish RX k star rapt in his own esoteric musical sexploit- seem like an original idea, but it makes having sex with warm gelatin while listening 2 The Lawrence Welk Orchestra seem interesting. Give it up. pseudo-Prince, your carbon-copy life is a paper cock. His Majestv was ■i nuisi, al lion, U K |iist ,i horny toad. —Brian Cross
PORN STAR ENVY Little Kim wants to be a porno star Since this is supposed to be a free country, she can really do whatever she w ants I low ever, the sole female member of the Junior MAFIA, Notorious BIG's sex kitten, and sell-proclaimed ''rhinoceros of Rap'' is supposed to be an MC. Little Kim seems more concerned with appearing in skimpy outfits in Her promotional ads than honing her lyrical skill/. The most uh, interesting of these ads features Kim dad only in matching leopard-skin coat and bikini. She is squatting with her legs spread wide apart, with what 1 hope is a sock stuffed in her bikini bottom Lyrically, she doesn't stray fat from being a super-freak, demanding oral pleasure While there's nothing inherently Wrong w ith songs about cunnilmgus (Male MC's have been singing the praises ot lellatio tor years |. in 1996 it seems nut ol place. In a year where female MG Have linalh gotten props for their lvne.il ability instead of their sta tus as sex symbols (l.aurvn ol the FtlSJMS and Bahamadia for exam pie). Lime Kim's persona darkens back to IIWA 11 loe/ With Attitude) There are also unsubstantiated rumors that Kim recorded her own softcore porno to promote her album, copies of which are floating around New York. Want to be a porn queen? Co hang out with Ron Hightower. Leave the rapping to the MCs. —Jesse Duiker
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PUNK ENVY Punk rock really is pretty good. Remember punk's pioneers: the d the Velvet Underground' Tin il How about British punk like the Sex Pistols and the Clash? Cool, huh1 The ISu/.\ ocks? 1 lie coolest I low about American punk? It's fun The Ramones? Pretty fun. Lear'Solid fun. How about lilac k Hag11 otsof fun. The Minutemen? The most fun. How about today's punk? Not as fun. Bad Religion? Sort of fun. Rancid? Less fun CIV? Not fun. l'he Offspring? Gosh, they km suck Mike Watt's "ball hog Man the) re the worst What's their deal? Doesn't their lead singer go to ( alitbmia University with the east ol Keirrly Hill- 902101 bn'l he in KclK I avlor's biochemistry class or something? What sellout- Dot n l one of their l rappy songs ask someone to come out and play? Man, real punks never ask. They do what they want. The Stooges did what they wanted They were cool. Black Flag was cool. Remember thai song "Gimme Gimme Gimme?" They never asked for am thing In fact, the Offspring has absolutely no punk rock credibility They are about as punk as Green Day. The Offspring sure is bad. -Mike Sendrow
December 5, 1.9.96
TALENT ENVY Who the Ml s.iid it ».is alright lor me Monkees to release a new album? Nobody - jrul yol they have anyway Jiaha is the iirsi KM material bom the Monkea since the last lime they decided to emban ass themselves in public. IT'S sort of funny sad that this happens, since (he Monkees were never s re.ilKind.invu.iv even in the'60s they were .1 parody ot ,1 Beatles rip-offhand (kind of bite Oasis with .1 sense of humor 1. Yel despite their apparent lack of talent and the cancellation of their TV show they've never really gone away. Every ten years or so (remember IWs "That Was (hen, This I- \. . I bet j ou do) ihej rear their ugl) heads .md force Mime poor soul to review their album. OK, here it goes... /iisiii- sucks. It lacks both valid musical content and anj sense of charm or wit The SOngwriUnSj is derh ative and third-rate The album might sound like an old Beatles album it Ringo and Linda McCartnej were the only people in the band rhe completely inappropriate M dition of distorted guitars or) tracks like Circle Sk\ and Admiral Mike' is more Spinal Tap than Deep Purple It you decide to buy tins album, you simplv have too much mone) on your hands -Jon Rooery
^^^
il Pennsyfv.-'
I Wn.r — Table Talk by Michael Klein Philadelphia Inquirer, Sunday. November 27, 1994 "I do approve — Deals on Meali by Janet Bukovinsky Teacher, Philadelphia Magazine. July 199S
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DIANA ROSS ENVY Ifs rare to ffatd .1 topi) that everybody can agree on. but in this cra/v COUntrj ,you can always find someone to take the stupid position — the Perot voter, the Ten listener et cetera. There is one issue on which we're nearly unanimous, though — Michael Jackson's ever-changing appearance It 1- intact, a non-issue No one thinks that Michael k>oks good The guy is a freak. I say "nearly unanimous1 because I tswme Michael Ukes me 1 hanger he has made. But does he really? Thai's what I w ant to know. I can't pkture Michael looking in the mirror and thinking, "Damn, I look good," especially not with that weird mask he has to wear now to keep his face from tailing apart So how did Michael think all that surgery would turn out, any* a\' People say he wanted to look like Diana Ross, but to say that Michael envies Diana ROSS is too tidy an explanation for me to accept We are talking about Jlf Glaeed Qu here, the man who created the moonwalk. Maybe it 9 women bl general that MiJi.iel em ies the soft lines of femininity thai he desires M.u be But there must be more to it than that. Something pretty weighty I think. What is the driving force behind Michael |.u kson S1 ibsesskm, which has battered him to the point where he has to pav his doctor daughter to be artificially inseminated with his child1 What kind of em J lias consumed a man who has held so em ions ,1 position in the lives of people worldwide? Don't ask me I just work here -Sf«-i>"P.V.r."G»pufo
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SOUL ENVY The Afghan Whigs are an all-white band. But they want to be black. Well, at least singer/songwriter guitarist Greg I'ulli wants to. Not only does Dulli's meticulous incarnation of emotional, alternate e to-the-alternative rock echo the great African American artists of past and present, the Whigs are also masterful at covering their tunes. From a thrilling version of IT C s "Creep* (on the Wings' Bonnie and Clvde EP ) to a warped interpretation of Barrv White's soul classic "Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe" (on the Beautiful Gir/s movie soundtrack) to a whole friggin' EP of Motown covers{Uptown Avondale), Dulli and the Whigs pay homage to their idols while adding their own unicjue spin. IH1II1 readily acknowledges his influence His !(i favorite albums include Public Enemy and NWA (see Meredith Borakove's killer Web pagewww.sas.upenn.edu -borakove whigs] His favorite artist 11 he Artist Formerly Known As) Prince In fact, on the lyric sheet to the Whigs's most recent album, aptly (though ambiguously) titled Bbscfc DuU substitutes "2" and "u" for "to' and "you mimickingthe Purple One. The whole CD heJs like a 70s bl.nploitation tlick you can almost see Richard Roundtreo strutting to "Blame, I h So the Whigs are black with em) But since their music completeIv racks, that s not nece-s.iril\ a >in —Scoff Lunman
. HJ^WJ . :
REAM Dimension Films' Scream Opens Nationwide December 20th You know you low to In- lightened And you know no one < .m scare y< w Iks. Wes Craven, the mastermind behind Freddie KruegN Hb latest expk> ration in U-ITOI is Scream from Dimension Minis. II you waiitloiower infear. we'll give you a loinpliinentary paaa for two to see Scream next Thursday All you have to do is tell us something thai makes you s, 11 am I mail it to Stri'fKftip.tiiM'iin.i'dti before midnighl tonight with 'scream" aayour sub |ei 1 line anil you win Supplies are limited, sa act fat
7-
December 5, 1996
Mobb Deep
The Rutles
Hell on Earth? Not quite._
If you do enough shots they're a bit like the Beatles
* by Mark Wilkinson
•by Benji Dietz
The instanlanev nis success of Mobb Deep's last release, The Infmous, brought forth two of the rawest lyricists rap had everheard With Havoc and I'rodigt - gnttv lyrics still tresh in your memoir, it will be had not to give in to the urge of companng their newest 1 I' entitled Hell on birth, to its pn\iece-sor before you even pop it in and press play " The question everyone is bound to .isk is. "How could the] possibly top their List album?" The answer thev don't. Like a frustrated sibling / lell en I arth can't seem to escape the shadow of its overedueving older brother. Though this younger brother tries its hard eat to be as raw the exploits of his elder are tar too numerous and phenomenal to duplicate. This unfortunate reality will ah* ays leave / left On Earth to be mn as something ol a disappointment Lyrically, Havoc and Prodigy are undergoing the transition from the wild street kids the\ ODOE were to stone mid murderers who dabble in cocaine dealing tor tun L nlortunalelv. their Tony Montana-wannabe attitude only dilutes the boneshattering realnessof Th lntamou~ •■ lyrical content. The duo seems to have lost the powerful presence they once had on the mic; they hide behind their new tracks instead of jumping out at you with aluminum baseball bats in hand. As usual. Mobb Deep wasn't out to make friends with their rhymes. Despite the death of Tupac Shakur, they still felt it necessary to Drop a Gem on 'Em" with a waming/diss/death threat tor the recently slain rapper. Havoc and Prodigy call upon Big Noyd to MC; he let everyone know who he was on ThcUknwut, but still Big Noyd hasn't liycd up to his own billing. The contributions ol the heralded Nas
The Beatles were the greatest rock 'n' roll group of all time I his isn't even an issue. Mow ever, there's certainly been some rlhn—hni about who I- the greatest Beatles np-oll of all time. The Monkees? Oasts? Spinal Tap? Surprisingly, perhaps, the answer is none of the above I el me introduce, gentle reader, the greatest lab I our rip-off act of all time — The Rutles The Rutles were born in 1*^72. the bastard children ot trie Idle and Be.itlem.im.i 1 routed b) the Lennon-esque Dirk Nasty, thev hurst upon the scene in their very own motion picture -how. and members of the Wu-Tang Qan are more than significant, but not enough to cam the album -in glo -handedlv The sole producers of even, track, Mobb Deep fails to meet the instrunxntal standards set by its previous, production efforts. Hell on Earth's mood is also a few shades darker than Vie bjfsrms. They k< you know this immediately with the ominous "Animal Instinct." Though typical Mobb Deep bead an1 admittedly sparse, some of / Ml on Earth's run into a monotonous rut atter the first thirty seconds. Lack of musical and lyrical innovation leaves some cuts running together. While all of the tracks can be smacked with a "head noddin' guaranteed" seal of approval only a few can get you completely open. The Mobb still secures its well-respected status in rap with gems like the album's title track and the symphonic "MoreTrife Life" (bonk Buy, ■ sequel to a song from The Infamous). They have done just enough to preserve their integrity and assure m ay one they have not fallen off. And with all comparison- aside, llellim Earth still manages to keep its head high above the still waters ol mediocrity.
All Veil Need a Cash Evoking memories of the Beatles arm ah in the US. almost ten yean ear Her, they performed before mobs of si reaming preteen girls, cavorted about in hobnail boots SM generally ran amok Then as suddenly as they appeared, the Rutles vanished 19%: In the tradition of money-grubbing i BO italist ex-rockers, the Rutles resurface sans the now -dead Dirk, and pushing their own "greatest hits' collection, slyly titled Archaeology. And. no surprise here, ifsa great album. Thebeautv ol the Rutles is thai they've never done anything but w ear their influences on their slim-cut suit sleeves. On Archaeology, Beatles songs are still Beatles songs — only different. In this way "Sgt. Pepper's Lottery Heart Club Band" becomes "Major Happy's Up and Coming Once Upon a Good Time Band," "The Sunshine King" becomes "The Knicker Mastic King," "When I'm 64" becomes "Back in '64," and "I Am the Walrus" becomes "Unfinished Words That the Rutles have cleverly rearranged Beatles song titles is no surprise, but what is sur-
prising i- thai they succeed in mimicking Lennon and McCartney's songwriting gift with convincing results. The self parody of "Line Kleine Middle Klasse Musik" would have fit perfectly on the Whiff Album, while the bubble-gummy I lev Mister1" might have been a Hard Days Night staple. What is ultimately appealing about Anlmeol ogi/, however, is that it's a joke, and is treated as such. The Rutles of the '90s are fat, bald, and old. Still, they've squeezed back into their skinny black suits, ready for a second go 'round, their mod-cut wigs as silly as ever. It's unfortunate that the real Beatles, who had such uncanny senses of humor in their youths, have grow n so sour in their middle age. We'd all be better of) if the original Fab Four would take a cue from the Rutles, and lighten up. Wild Honey Pie, where have you gone'
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December 5, 1.9.96'
Two of the greediest little bastard© on Mike Judge a Not that Judge minds the fame, mind you. "It e nice to havecnaradera that everyone knows, but sometimes it's a little weird " I low weird? "I ha\ e a photo of an Indonesian kid. lie savs lie with Ins family In a grass hut on some Third World island with no electricity and no plumbing, and he's got a Beavis and Butt-head T-shirt on 1 \ en hardcore (arts of the dorky duo may question how Beavis and Butt-head can make the transition from short sketches and Ali/.-rcrv Science Theater MMO-ttyk MTV commentary to a 90minute feature film, "I'.irt oi what's funny about Beavis and Butt-head ia that they're these two guys who just don't belong on television when it'son the big screen, w ilh surround sound and an 80-piece orchestra, all to serve this masturbation joke, it's funnier Judge is right avoid watching Bea\ is and Butthead tor a while then ate their usual antics in the theater and vou'll laugh \ our ass off Sure it- their usual sight gags, stupidity and obsession with 'scoring, but judge haan t nm out of hilarious situations tor the tVideas Wonders to stumble into And spending the extra time to make the tilm right really paid oil The contrast with the breakneck speed of the TV show i- ob\ IOUS (rom the opening dream sequence — Beavis and Butt-head are fantasizing they are giant versions of themselves, smashing a city a la King Kong and Godzilla. Fans of Japanese animation (called anime) will instantly notice that Judge changed his animation style, maintaining the trademark Beavis and Butthead Took" but giving the scene an unmistakable anime feel. Other exSoon, I will be the perimental scenes include a 3-D serichest man alive
When Paramount graciously spent large amounts of money to fly me out to LA. three weeks ago, I didn't just get to lounge around my fancy hotel room in my underwear drinking $2.50 Cokes from the mini-fridge. There was work to be done. Okay, maybe you don't consider work to be watching Beavis and Butthead Do America a month prior to its release and staying in a hotel for free. But trust me, it's not easy to participate in an hour-long press conference with one of America's most under-appreciated yet successful animators and not only avoid looking stupid but also get a story out of it. I know. I know .It's easy to dismiss Beavis and Butt-head as the prime example of what's wrong with this country. But that misses the essential point that creator Mike |udgi' lias died to Ml n 1108 using Ins two animated losers. The Mot-OODvnamic-Duo are supposed to he what'-, wrong with tin- country and ludge
uaea than to viciously duulenge a wide range of s» total norms. Of course, Beavis and Butthead the characters have become a little too wulclv recognized, and Judge is the first to admit it. "I was always afraid people would burn out on it," he says. "It just pun I SO many times; I kind of wish it had been a once-a-week show In order to build anticipation for the film, MTV has put the very successful cartoon show on hiatus until after the movie runs its course in the theaters
quence, a 'shroom-based hallucination that looks very different from any thing you've seen on ftwI lore, and a 7QsCOpahOH back
ground during the opening credits Of course, moving to the big screen allowed judge to cut loose mine-Wise, a- well as in animation There- more violence, more sexual themes, and moregraphu detection jokes. And
more debates about tin- merit- of the -how. or
lade thereof Ine most famous controversy oi course, is the cased the two kid- who burned down their trailer after allegedly being inspired b\ the cartoon But given a chame to tell hi- side ludge -a\ "I know I'm going to be talking about this tor the re-t oi my life ,md that -okav That - a horrible awful thing that happened but I know it had nothing to do with the -how [his woman left a two -.ear-old and a fiveId in a trailer, alone.ind unattended, and went out on a date ludge relates The kid had -tarted a tire when he was three before Beavis and Butt-head was on the air ,md the\ didn t even
gel .able there, he continues But the woman was looking tor someone to blame and
there was media tren/v about it I think il was von irre -pon-ible the wav the pre— Nice guys don't get laid handled it It got reported as masturbation I.ol-ol masturbation. tin- kid watched BflrWS ..>..; Butt lead and then The format also allowed judge the freedom to started a fire, which iu-t i- not true." satirize subjects he - never tackled before The Whatev er the controversy, Mike judge is comBureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and firearms bears mitted DO creating a qualitv cartoon, whatever the brunt of the attacks, but the Catholic Church, form it may take In their latest incarnation, Beav senior citizens, bus tours, national landmarki- and Butt-head are at their funniest And as a witand Bill Clinton all get hit as well And don't take ty and insightful satire, there's little not to like it personally if you're a member of an ottended about this film group "I wouldn't really say I'm going after anybody judge emphasizes "You do what you /ami's Ingralam is not a /fan ■;,/ the know, and you do what's funnv tmommtcflm I mfcasvfaaWrwoBrm'is and Butt-head has been mired in controversy, and it's possible the movie will inspire
9—
Ah. free money... 'tis dw Stuff of the American Dream. Casual sex, beautiful women, handsome men, fast cars, exciting drugs, fancy clothes, el cetera, el cetera .ill are wonderful and desirable in and of themselves, but ultimately they are simple acquisitions of that wonderful, disposable medium of exchange — American dollars, and lots of them. With money comes the freedom to do whatever you want Without it? The shackles of poverty and the inability to afford drinks ,it the Palladium And while few at Penn are lacking in the stuff of green dreams, many (this writer especially) just don't have quite enough. I ntcr then into this equation, gentle reader, a Mecca of ostentatious wealth, a place where the money's for nothing and the chicks are tor tree An oasis in the desert of Amen.,in middle class existence. The playground of the wealthy and famous. A place where Frank Sinatra can sing "My Way," and mean it. A place called AC. The crown jewel of the Jersey Shore — Atlantic City Most importantly, the kind of place where even Penn's own Reginald and Petra can realize their most fabulous dreams. \i\ own dreams of AC. originated long ago m the mind .it .1 little boy, standing transfixed in my parents's library, suspended between fantaS) and reality by the mellifluous tenor of a certain blue-eyed singer on one of my dad's old 45 records. And as Sinatra detailed in his world, somewhere beyond the sea, I knew I was destined to be a part of it, too.
Ann-Margaret's sweet voice washed DV« me as I reclined just behind the driver's seat. There were five of us in the Astrovan, hurtling up the Garden State Expressway toward destiny atop the Boardwalk. Between my sprawled legs, a bottle of Shea's Irish Amber (the drink of discerning Smoke's patrons) was my muse. And as alcoholic inspiration came over me, I floated away to the land of free money. It's an awe-inspiring scenescape, populated by stars and the super-rich, its streets the paths of Bentleys and Ferraris, its mountainous peaks capped with pure snow. In the land of free money, everybody is always buying rounds for the whole bar, and the poorest person in the place is probably Sonny Crockett, trying to make that bust while Melanie Griffith eyes him from across the crowded dance floor. It's just the kind of place I could call home. Hell, enough Penn students live there — I'd already have friends on the block.
It's Delovely The skyline of Paradise came into view in the distance just as the sound of a breaking bottle awakened me from my dream-state. God, it was gorgeous. All those lights how do thev have so main lights1 A silence rolled over the live of us as our dis-
tance from the Promised Land decreased, but we were fai from intimidated — we were ready. Dressed to a T, our wife-beaters showing from under trie V of our unbuttoned white shirts and our hair slicked back just right, we u err a Rat Pack for the '90s, out for the cash and the beautiful babies, but especially the cash. Yeah, I was getting rich mal night, and I had a twenty in my pocket to prove it. Parking the Astro on a side street fcuz you can't valet a minivan if vou want to keep your rep), we sauntered straight to the Trump. After all, there's something to be said tor th.it Quaker spirit — even in A.C.
That's Amore WTien you walk into a place like the Trump, it's like being born. The light, the sounds, the sensations are overwhelming. And, as il it'-, pumped in through the vents, the smell of money pervades Suffice to say, I stopped thinking about anything but winning. For awhile I even forgot about the beautiful babies serving drinks in their slinky little lame numbers, red as lobsters, only more expensive and in pumps,
Danke Schoen 1 should admit this now I'm not the most accomplished gambler in the world. But in Paradise, it doesn't even matter. We settled down at a roulette table, mv boy Steve the Grill and I trading in our loot foe five dollar chips while Goose, Irish, and Fat Bill post up, scopin' out the babies. The fan of Supafy that I am, I alw ,I\ S bel on black. And I always win. Even then, it seemed inconceivable that I could so easily grant myself the good life. And yet there I was, five dollacs ahead, I could hear Wayne Newton already starting his salute to me. as the dealer kept on passing more and more chips my way. Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen...
Just A Gigolo When 1 was up 45 dollars, that old AC. magicstarted to kick in I tell a slight pressure on my right side. I turned, only to find before me the most beautiful of babies, the kind of Maria Maples-esque paragon of cheap sex appeal that only thrives in Paradise. I knew that luck'd be a ladv that night, then she spoke. Beautiful baby: Hi. Can I get you a drink' Me i -ii.r;.-, yet nonchalant): Yeah... matter of fact, why don't you let me get one for each of us? BB: I can't drink on the job. M: Oh, playing hard to get, are ya? Take a look at all these ihips, and think it over. BB: No, really — I'm a waitress. You want something' Cause I got a job to do. M: "i eah, well, tell you what — vou bring me back a vodka martini, with three olives, and I've got a shiny 50-cent piece |ust for you. BB (pretending to be sarcastic): I'll be right back. And come back she did, with the tastiest martini I'd ever had. Bars around here should really start putting water in Iheil martinis. It's so much more palatable. But I digress. Back tothemackin': Me: So hon, what time's vour shift end? BB: Six. Me: So how 'bout this: why don't you and four of your
friends meet me and the boj - X me I iki I ounceat say ten after I should have -nine nice toll pockets In then, and I promise III give vou something bigger than this piece "t silver, M hen I see vou there. BB Ok see vou there. How'd I get so goddamn good"
II ■ I
The Lady is A Tramp
I
i'4
Done with Mr Martini, 1 turned back around to the table Steve the Grill was still in the mix, but I could tell lie was hurting; his chips were gettin' low And goddamn if I didn't take a fall on mv lirst trip too — the number comes up red and odd, and I'm out ten, like that. Next time around, the damn thing comes up double-zero and another ten slips aways. Steve starts airsing — something about a magnet — and storms away from the table After two more trips, though, I'm starting to wonder, too. Suddenlv I'm working with a single five-dollar chip. Mv bovs start lookin' a little forlorn, lookin' at their reflections in their shins instead of at the table. 1 could tell they were sore. But I wasn't gonna let 'em down.
Something's Coming
S
D / lakes a step back from the table, right? And I sautra myself up, looking right at nil deal \er just as hard as I could. And I put that chip down i»i the lust twelve, lookin' risjil in that miserable bastard's eyes the whole tune You know tonal he did! I'll tell ya. That filthy animal lands that ball right on S4. /list like that. My point's made. And mv money's tripled The h ;. tumping all over me, and man. did I feel like I SMS on lop of the world Goddamn free money - nothing like it."
//
That Old Black Magic Yiiu know, when you're on a streak in Patadi-e nothing can stop vou. Nothing, in mv case, excepl ,i feeling dial Steve the Grill had' "Yo —" he in s to me " — put twenty on red I gotta feeling.'' I'm up 25, so I do it for him, even though I know it's going against everything I know from Superfly. Am w ay, the ball comes up black, and I think it must have been an omen. cause from men on I couldn't buv a winner Just like that, I'm done. And the dream ot the free loot shatters like my bottle of Shea's on the Expressw ay
What Kind of Fool Am I?
§
i1 ■ Einstein on,,- ~.\\d, "God doesn't plaj due » ith the
Universe For my money, ol Ai really meant thai normal stooges like vour- truK aren't meant to play roulette with Trump No matter how good you look, how suave you are or how man\ time- you ve seen Ram Man, vou re never >;oiina really win in A I 'causeyou'll always get greedy You'll never wm You never w ill But I might.
Release Me (And Let Me Love Again) The five ol us slumped ba»k to the Astiovan, dejected The ride home was quiet, but I'll tell vou something Comin' back down die Expiesswaj at 5:30 in the morning, watchin' the sun just start shining from below the horizon, and knowing that in half an hour five girls will be complaining about vourdoadhc.it selves, you start to feel damn good Like maybe you won somethin' in the end Or mavbe it's just that vou know 01' blue I yes'd be proud ot ya, cause va did it vour w.n It so monc\ Due to ins exceptional taste, style, and incisive wit, Ben Diet: is THL man to be seen with around thh campus. Ask anyone who's in the know. Unfortunately, it s going to he Imr.i | to he seen with him because he - M pale that fb>.;.'. frtl
purposes, he ■ transparent Such is hjfe
December 5, 1996
15 things that
PISS STREET OFF 15. Michael Jackson, Madonna, and their babies Michael Jackson and Madonna dominated the 1980s pop mu-u scene. Together, the Gloved Wonder and the Material Girl shattered most of the existing sales and Grammy records. But it's the l'NtK and their musical careers are floundering. Now, instead of getting weirder and weird.i H they spenl the latter part of the previous decade doing to attract attention, both of them have used random partners to become parents We think they should just give up, and deal with their fade into obscurity honorably, like Debbie I ifceon, Vanilla Ice, and New Kids on the Block did. 13. The new Pepsi Bottle I know, let's redesign the bottle sopeoptecarrM use one hand to grip the top of it to pour, preventing them from using that other hand to hold their glass. Brilliant move, guys. You just made a ton of execs at Coca Cola thrilled 14. STWing There re,ill\ isn't much to be said here.They've taken our King s( ourt The) have an enclave in High RiseSouth. And now they run this damn magazine. What the hell- w rang with this picture? We had a freakm Sto IW coven for God's sake' ' 12. Chris Farley and Adam Sandier 1 suppose we reallv should blame Lome Michael-, tor milking these S\7. alum- tor all they' re worth in movie after movie, but how much longer DtUSt we be subjected to Farley's pale imitation of Mm Belushi'- physical comedy and Sandler's pathetic whining? Follow Chew Chase's example and just retire, dammit. 11. Glorifying dead people Why i- it that suddenly, after Richard Nixon died he became the greatest president of the last half a century, despite being B
crook? Or that Tupac Shakur became the silenced voice of rap, the symbol of all that is good in hip-hop, past present and future, after he was gunned down for his alleged criminal associations? 10. The Information Superhighway A useful tool which has run as amok as the inane terms used to refer to it, the Net is more frustrating than useful these days. It used to be that those who knew how to use it could get immense amounts of information quk ker ova the computer, but now u ith every idiot and their brother having AOL accounts to download a gigabyte of free pom. Sprint's links are dying, and business,-, can't UM the network reliably anymore. 9. The X-Files A perfect example of what happens to a television showafter it gets arrogant enough to be complacent in its own tennis it (urn- into complete and utter crap, too wrapped no in its own sophistication to give us good TV. Thank Gixj Chris t arter gave us Millennium to love in its place. 8. The UA Riverview I hn don't \% .ml us there. It's impossible to get to conveniently without a car, no matter how you SEITA it. And all the movies shown thereend up SOmeVi here else in I'hillv any way, -ides, they don't let you sneak in to see a second movie (or free like the other places. 7. People who think they're Generation X Were you born during Nixon's presidency? Then stop calling yourself Generation X. You're not a (ietl \er any more than Kurt C ob.un i- the ultimate symbol of our generation. Fie was a druggie who blew his brains out. Bridge — build one and
get over it. 6. Weirdo Religious People What is up with these people? Why do they pace the walk preaching about the proper way to live? Are you going to take advice from someone with nothing better to do in life than sit on Locust Walk with a blanket all day calling out to people as they go
by? 5. The New York Jets They're the single most pathetk evens,- for a professional sports team in e\i-teme No defense — they just suck. They're an embarrassment to football, professional sports, New York state, humanity, and the planet Earth. And I'm a die hard fan. Go fig. 4. P.A.R.I.S. Put it on the web with I'enn In Touch, already. It's a thousand times e.i-ier to use, less time consuming, and it doesn't get tied up H hen people need to register t >ncc someone has your birthday and social security number, whethei he uses your phone or your computer is irrelevant. 3. Touchy people It's, like, a joke, okay? Sheesh. 2. Stupid people You know who vou are. People that sue Burger King for S million dollars because they spill hot coffee on themselves, People who brake to look across the highway at a lender bender alongside the opposite lane of travel, holding up all oilier traffic. The people that make the Jeff Foxworthv show a hit. Do us all a favor — die. Illustrations by Nye Warburton. tat by Matthew I. Duvrkin.
flnd the number one thing that pisses us off...
SfjARftuHtO C? M*«- .SA&.oPi-nw eto
— 12
December 5, 1996
Street's List of Lines That Make Us Want to Mangle the People Who Say Them. "You'n such a nice guy." If I didn't have a boyfriend, I'd want to get with a guv just 1 ik»- jrou (let iu av, vou remind me of my father." I don't know what I'd do without
a thing or IWO about liou to treat a woman.1
you.'
"I'm just going through .1 tough time right now"
You know, I had a crush on you last semester." You're too good for me." I ui-.h my boyfriend were more hk<'
you "Do you know how I can get \our friend?" I'm gay." "Maybe vou can teach mv boyfriend
"I love you like a brothei "You're everything I eva wanted In ,i man, but you're not my religion."
Vou re too smart In me "Irs not you it s ma "I'm not looking tor ,i serious relationship right now l II i,ill vou tomon It i nui' Meing you again." "I value vour friendship too mudi "That dress makes J ou look thin." "Smile."
"You're too li,ipp\ "K it that time ot the month again;" Why can'l you be more like youi
friend?" "ton know, mv ex did that well." "This !•• mv Mend 'she's the most beautiful girl In the world "I used to date someone )usl like you.' No, We re just IrirnuI expect a lot more trom you "I've taken a VOW ot ceUMCJ I need you so much more as a friend right now Have ,i nice daj I want to talk about Street more, but I don't really know H hat to ISa
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Hurt me, please!
Zalman King's Red Shoe Diaries
The buxom Lara Croft ups the ante for PC and console adventuring.
Showtime
•by James Ingraham I m (rill dh es gracefully into a pool of water, and I watch her ■xpertly twin to me surface, dtanb out draw hei pi--t>>K, and 'lou aw ay two alligators all in one fluid motion. She/a not afraid >i anything; she nei a loses ha oool and she doesn't take slut from inyone M anything, Her tall slender form moves with cat-like igility, her ample bl 181IDI heaving from the efforts Oi running, divng. leaping, and swimming through untold dangers in a hidden emple deep in the mountains of Peru. I think I'm in low
and leaps over giant chasms But in 3D, the puzzles are tar more intricate. No longer confined to right angles and zero depth, Lara's world is as as enchanting as her swishing hips Using Redbook audio i that s what vour audio CDs are), the Tomb Rtidt) background sounds reallv BlikeyOU leel like vou'rem the environment When Lara speaks —with her oh-so-entuing English aicent you van hear the strength of her character. In-game sounds |uVe bullets whizzing or a lion's growl are also very high-quality And when Lara cries out in agon) as she's speared through the heart, you
cringe
TOMB RAIDER - Eidos Interactive PC CD-ROM, PlayStation, Saturn http://www.tombraider.com
Unlike pure action games like Qjuke or Dab \uknn, Tomb K. has a plot Lira is an archeologist a la Indian |onea and she does it 'cause she loves it — not tor the monej An adventurer with morals and a fierce independence, she's searching tor an Atlantean artifact ol great power She needs to find the pir.es ,md put them Its not iust net look-. While certainly her short shorts and akin back together before those With darker intentions get their hands ighl thirl leave little to the imagination and make it difficult to concon it. I low can you not love this woman1 Don't tret though; while entrate on her beautifully rendered and often lethal — combat isn't as complicated hen' as in the myriad DMm clones, vour •urroundings if j Lara a moves that make her so remarkable pulse will be pounding when a bear decides to have Lara for Maybe I should darif); this ian t some porno on theSpicechan- lunch fl hat's it vour pulse isn't already pounding for other realei. Lara is (he star ot /(>mf> Raider, a third-person perspective at sons.l ion adventure game for PC CD-ROM, Sega Saturn, and Sony There's no question that you need to buy Tomb Raider, the only 'lav station The industry has been drooling over the British polv raation is what formal you want it on. The PC version gives you 1 {On-bated lovetj tor months, and she has finallv arrived. ability to save at will, which is vastly superior to the minimal Truly a 3D gaming experience, hnnh Rflfcfcrofian fifteen massive save options allowed on PlayStation IM course, odds are your TV eveb w itli challenging puzzles, deadly traps, and killer animals is bigger than v our lomputer monitor, and considering that you'll There is an unbelievable range of motion: sprinting, walking, spend approximately 30 to 40 hours playing, you might n ant the •wimming, springreduced eye strain of a largng forward, flipping er screen. The PlayStation backward, side step version also has better graphsing, dive rolling, ics than the PC, unless you .hooting, or climbhave a 3D accelerator card. ng. Lara [Parker] All in all, it's a question of aptivates your eyes. whether you prefer ogling She's tough, out Lara with a nximful of peo■verything she does ple around v our 21-inch TV s sexy Prepping to screen or the privacy of vour uaha massive atone own room with a smaller Axk out of her way, and more intimate monitor .he seems like ,i real Regardless ,,| vour taStt .voman, flexing her in games, men and women egs and putting her alike will be unable to take •houlder into it their eyes of the shapely Lara Long-time game Croft. Excellent gameplay, anatics will notice great puzzles, and an inter•imilantiestolheev esting storyline nab ellent 2D sideRaider the best adventure -croller PritlCt of \ game of the year. And "ersit; Lara hangs though she may be made of rom ledges, tails pixeLs, Lara Croft is too sexy nto pits oi spikes Darling it s better, down where it s wetter, under the sea! hi miss
We can still see other people, right?
"The following presentation is not rated. It eon tains adult language, nudity, adult content and strong sexual content. Viewer discretion is advised. "The sin ol lust personified can breathe a deep sigh of relief knowing that its need will soon be fulfilled One of teh v i sion's sexiest people (according to TV Cmde), David Duchovny, stars as "Jake" in the Showtime aeries
Zalman King - Red Shoe Diaries.
Known to fans simply as "RSD," this show chronicles lake's lust ful attempts to understand his fiancee''s suicide by exploring the sexual experiences of other people as written in women's diaries In "Naked in the Moonlight," Jake and his dog are sitting on the lawn in a public park. Jake reads a diary aloud, which might make you think twice about the people you see sitting on the grass of Van Pelt. Soon, "lamillc | Kaven Snow) takes over tin narration, and tells of her new inheritance: her father 'a prize car collection. Camille's looks (or lack thereof) are equal to those of "Lilith" from NBC's I rosier Guys, if you think Lihth is sexy, wait 'til you see Camille DuChamps' As the "plot" thickens, fames (an obviously muscular John Enos) is hired to fix one of the cars, and eventually gets ,,|| greasy and has to take a shower. Camille, enraptured, walks In quietly, takes her clothes off, climbs in behind him, and the rest is sheer poetry. This is also where the show reaches its "climax," leaving Jimmy and Camille wondering about their future to gether. Classical music (Bach, methinks) flows in the background of every sex scene of this half-hour show, leading me to believe that Zalman King has a real Clockwork Orange complex, relating Bach to sex. Overall, I got my fill of lustful sin for the night. Was it as good for you as it was for me? —Melanie Redmond
JEOPARDY! It's an early weekday evening, just like any other. The faniliar synthesizer-throb swells, and your knees buckle in spite >f yourself. A part of you tries to rationalize, tries to stand apart rom its pull; "I'll |ust watch lor a few minutes, 'vou tell vour-i It and see what I remember from high school." But deep in.ide, you know you'll be there for much more than one Daily Double You know you'll be sitting on thai couch for thirty agmi/mglv slow minutes, hanging on ever) answer in swealv highed anticipation Vou know that vou like to watch. You
— 14
The correct response is, "What was the Boxer Rebellion?" His voice soaks into you with its tantalizing bass. The words fall slowly and intermittently from his lips at first, like butter from a hot biscuit, surrounding you with comfort and lulling your ears with aural warmth. Then, as your mind slips into a distracted bliss — sometime around "Double Jeopardy" — he begins to toy with vou His responses suddenly come faster, building to almost feverish intensity and your insides burn with longing. The flawlessly-enunciated foreign phrases spill from his lips like bourbon — "Who is Umberto Eco?", "What is l buken Cordon Bleu?"' — and you suck it down ail-too-willingly. Then, just as you are brought to the cusp ot ecstatic release it is over His face fades from the screen with a final leasing grin, and, again, you are left unfulfilled How can he besocrucP" vou gasp to yourself How can he tempt me so callously?" Correct Select again Answer, because he can. He does it ever) night. And every night, you return... to quench your aching need with the ob-
scene, trivia-packed cocktail of pleasure and pain that onlv he can provide. Like a moth to a candle, like a Wharton professor to a nubile young teen, you are drawn. Resisting him is futile Surrender willingly to your desire. Give in to Trebek. —Francis Englert
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December 5, 1996"
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10. Joey Lawrence 9. Erik Estrada 8. Alex Trebek 7. Homer Simpson 6. Grant Show 5. Remington Steele 4. Will Smith 3. Antonio Sabato, Jr. 2. Eriq LaSalle (And you thought we were going to say George Clooney) 1. Dennis Franz
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Tony, 45-year-old truck driver from South Jersey: Oh. baby, the 'Net has really changed my life. I am so glad that I can log on right here, in Buck's, and check out the new babes on Soul Malts. In fact, I am about to gef laid for ihe first lime in vears! And bv a hot babe, too. I found ha on Soul Mates, and her name is Tiina. She is from, waddva call that... Asslonia or something. Wherever that is. Soul Mules has info on everything a man needs: pictures of girls from India, Malaysia, smith Please to be America, videos with chicks from the Philipbringing me to pines and Russia, a magazine, a full memberAmerika. I am ship club where you can shop for women — signing this of my choose three each month for two years! Better own free will. than Pliiyl'ov' And, man, if you do decide to buy — I mean marry — some foreign ho, she's gonna be the best lay, too. She'll pretty much do anything vou want, like Tiina. And clean and cook. American bitches are too selfish to please a man, but those unspoiled girls from foreign lands are all about HP ice. Mike, 19-year-old college sophomore from Long Island Yeah, Tony, thanks for telling me about the site! My frat house- is ordering one M those chicks from the Philippines. And what a chillin' time we all had, checking out the pictures on Soul Matet ami watching the \ Ideos! \n.l jus) last Saturday night we mad.' this pledge, I Mice, mart) one ol the chicks from the Philippines as part of hazing! lull sen ice, that - what I call it. Bob, 30-year-old Barista from West Philly Yeah, and check out the Indian babes! All guys should be logging on this site to look at these n omen! Who needs all those emancipated feminists u Hh sticks up their asses, n hen these girls are all cute and willing. And Ihey really need us, teal American macho men to save them from poverty! Just what we need powei and sex! What a deal! —Sus/m Pugackeviky
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ATTENTION! PAPERS BEING ACCEPTED NOW
THE 1996-1997SAMUEL P. AND IDA S. MANDELL UNDERGRADUATE
December 5, 1996
Singled Out. Finally, a tain obsessed, yet handsome liberated forum that proviewer hold back his sentivides the means of exments that can only truly piesalns true romance in manifest themselves in song? the modem age of conserThe set of Singled Out is vatism. And let's face it, deared. Gentle jenny's white evetV viewer imagines Bowing sown ias,adt's to how he too would finagle the floor and a 'come-hither' Ins way through the riglook fills her eyes. The slinky orous tests of love and sounds of Phil Collins's make his way to the win"Against All Odds" satuner's circle to finally emrates the space and my voice brace a greasv, guaranteed I've blown every naptl— the intimacy of the score for the night. Oh the moment: "Well, take a look MTV exec. frustration, craftily deat me now, Jenny, it's just an signed to tease the viewers so. One can just empty space, and you comin' back to me, see the corporate brain trust forging this Jenny, is against the odds, but it's a chance sophisticated matrix of tortuous lust. All I've gotta take... Jenny" the hordes of men and women are preJenny chimes in with "Separate Lives" screened, nicely sculpted, mindless and competing the perfect seduction that only boppin' to the beat of TLC in their scanty a Phil Collins medley can provide: "You outfits and dreams of love. What else have no right to ask me how I feel. You could you ask for? have no right to speak to me so kind... But jenny McCarthy! The Aphrodite of ca- for now we'll go on livin' separate lives." ble television and, lest we forget, 1994 The room is plagued with the pain of bitITaymate of the Year, sets the screen ablaze tersweet farewells. with rowdy sexuality. The rumors of fenI'll never leave you, Jenny! And I speak ny leaving the show fix fear into the hearts for men across America! I am the '90s of many a committed Singled Out viewer. American male! LOVE ME! On lennv's dreaded last day, could a cer—/o/tnny American Male
Leisure Suit Larry VII Love for Sail! — Sierra •Cash prizes awarded* • Winning essays published in awards book* Any assignment written by an undergraduate for a course during the current academic year is eligible.
CATEGORIES: • Critical reading of text • Writing in the humanities • Writing in the social sciences • Writing in the professions: nursing, business, engineering • Creative non-fiction: an unusual response to an assignment • Informal personal essay Submit two copies through Instructors, TAs, or WATU Fellows to Writing Across the University 414A Bennett Hall. Papers being accepted now FINAL DEADLINE: MARCH 17,1997 — 16
When it CDDM IB lust, Larry Laffer wrote the book . or is it the CD-ROM? Either way, Larry, the short, balding, leisure suit-clad hero of Sierra On-Line's wikflj popular/.Mm1 Siiif Larry series, is back and in search of love - or at least a few cheap thrills. In Larry's latest adventure, Lin v/Sir Sail!, he goes on a babe-packed cruise. His objective is not unlike that of many an ambitious frat boy: go forth and get laid — early, Often, and with the hottest women possible And use whatever means are necessary — lying, cheating, stealing, and / or other deadly or not-quite-deadly sins. In LSI. the player takes on the role of l-arry as he wanders around, looking for Some action All of the dialogue features real voices, and a funky musk al score plays in the background. And gnat graphics make I arry'squest for love all the more engrossing But those looking for hard-core lust will be disappointed: LSI looks like a cartoon rather than a video, and noth-
ing truly "nasty" is ever shown. And tor the squeamish, Larry even provides an adjustable fBth In el (but in the name of journalism, this reviewer played the game in "Without Reservation Exceptionally Mondo Widely Super Completely Very Extra Filthy" mode). While Larry may be a bit more risque than Space Invaders, the real reason to play Low (br Sail! is the laughs — of which there are plenty. Designer Al Lowe has built a cult following because of his offbeat sense of humor, and the humor here is as strong as ever. When the curvy but prudish (at least at first.) Victorian Principles tells Larry "I only expose myself to fine literature," Larry' muses, "I wish I wen' some fine literature." Plenty ot moments like this and other surprises await in Low for Sail! So for a full dose ot lust and laughs | rtei k it out. Besides, Larry may even teaih you a trick or two on how to score with those elusive cyber-babes. — fonKaufthal
December 5, 1.9.96 dent chorale- in the State of Colorado. I'll never forget mv last Con-
cerl when I got to sing this huge bass solo during the greal gospel "Ezekiel Saw the Wheel ' Boy did that crowd applaud! Free 8 00 p m — This Guide proudly written by the long-haired, roguish \ason Giardino (Cathedral Church of the Stvioi
and Chestnut strt
All Guides edited bv Kevin Lerner. THE Guides
editor of zath street Magazine
Thursday The WDRE Christmas show featuring: Weezer, Tracy Bonham, Fiona Apple, and Ash. I, Kevin I etner, your friendly neighborhood 'Guides' editor, will not be at this Concert. I'm proud to tell you th.it Frankly, I'm too good for this show. You're probably not though, since I'm better than you. 7 p.m. $12 -This Guide proudly written by the humble Kevin Lemer I Electric Factory, 4th and Willou 1332) Penn Jazz. I played trombone rather intermittently for Penn l.i// I finally had to give it up because on luesdays, which are the rehearsal I have to pour my heart and soul into the Guides. I miss Penn |azz now and then, and I sorta liked being the senior member of the trombone section (as a sophomore, no less) I hey were nice guvs those Ireshmen — josh and John Say hi to them for me when you go to the -how. And would you mind bringing mv music back to them for me? 8:00 p.m. -This Guide proudly written by the well-lubricated Kevin Lerner 'TheCastle, 36th and Walnut.) Grace Jones. Widely acclaimed for her lively and entertaining prelentationi of English folk songs. Grace Jones will sing ballad-- and Ming- dt the sea, of rural pur-int- ol MX lal and sociable situation- of Industrial toil and strife, and much more on December 5. Her songs are punctuated with tales, monologues, dances and tunes, giving a more (omplete appreciation of the wealth, dh i rsjty, and vitality of the English folk tradition Wait a second. That's not Grace Jones. That's something called the t herry Tree Co-op. I have no idea who the hell Grace Jone- Is -This Guide proudly written by the randy Randy Cinco (Egypt, 520 N. Delaware Avenue 922-
Friday University Choral Society and University Wind Ensemble Present Carolina Burana, etc. Back in high Whool I WM in,.ne,it the bast -In-
Off the Beat: Sweet Like Candy. What is this an a cappella group' I hope they are as good at what they do as I am at what / do I am the best damn Team Design thi- hall assed get-up has ever seen. Let me tell you, Sired was NOTHING before they got me on board Ju-t wail until i have total power n WILL BE MINE, GODDAMN YOU!!!!! (Editor's note: the following guide, writ ten by me, Kevin Lemer, sound- a lot like this one, but I wrote mine tir-t | — This Guide proudly written by the insanely talented Nancy \ugent IDunlop Auditorium, Nursing Education Building)
Saturday The Bodeans with Holly Palmer. Yours truly, Kevin I HUM, the besl l luides editor -I'M I has ever seen, helped write a short review of Hol\\ Palmer a couple of weeks ago. I had some help, but none of US got credit then Well, mv time lor honor has come I wrote all of the good one- in "Street Raul- the Vault I write all the good stuff in tin- two-bH rag spm. $15.50. -This Guide proudly written by the witty, Intelligent Kevin Lemet (Theaterofthe I;; i South
''in Counting Crows with Cake. Oh, enough about Counting-treakin■Iready l el -talk about me. I'm 6'1", shiny brown hair and alluring dark eve- I'm -ingle, and would make an ideal date tor am girl on this campus You're intelligent, because l deserve It, and of course, you're beautiful, because I wouldn't be -een u ith anything less Call 417-8088 and ask tor ke\ In I d be proud to take you out. BKW p.m. Mv place -This Guide proudly written b)f the eligible Kevin lerner i loan Theatei 69th and Ludlow
midst Ihev make mv life so much more mii-ual Ihev -mg the words in my head in ways I never thought possible l love you a cappella singers s p m. -This Guide is the ostentatious output ofl'rancis Beauchamp. (ZeUerbach Theater Annenberg Cen6th ami Walnut sti
It can seem impossible-
Composers of UPenn. I wrote a couple of songs when I was in high school Ihev were pretty good DeSpite my pride, I didn't put them on the CD that I produced lor mj school's literary magazine. The world may never know mv COOl posing genius Shame s p m Free — This Guide proudly written liy the under-appreciated Kevin
IT^"1C3E n
being a young, single mother and a student
P. lescsne
tiding tO put
I mm (Cathedral Church and Chestnut streets)
for/do
myself through school. Whenever it seems like too much, I read Science and Health. It helps me i'ind the spiritual solutions that I can't find anywhere else.
Sunday Counting Crows with Cake. I am lease Docker, and I went to the same high school as Adam Duritz, lead -mger of this group. It was Head Royce School of Oakland, California, I bet you all ju-t w ant to be me now, don't you, you pathetic peon-' Isn't that just so goddamn cool that I had the same English and history
teacher as Adam-rucking-Duritz?
And you know what the irony i-1 I hate the tucking group' U u can I get a Su7 -This Guide proudly written by the large-livin' Jesse Ihuker • Theater tWfh and I udlov Street. (610) 3S2-091S) Cherry Tree Music Co-op presents Herdman, Hills & Mangsen. I. sahil Banka, am perhaps the only humble member of this pathetic staff. They make mv n achievement- look monumental I heir tiny mind- and weak bodies make me superhuman I am Cod hi re Bp.m. - This Guide proudly written by the ever-virile Sahil Banka
For People nho Aren t Airaid To Think Available in Bookstore - Ol Christian Science Reading Rooms Or Call 1-800-544-6000.
Fingers, Wings and Other Things Healthy. Lite, Fresh, Inexpensive, Fast, Fun, Food! 208 S. 40th Street • Philadelphia. FA 19104
(Under SmokeyJoe's) (215) 22 2 - 3322 Pi Lam Band Party with Stinking Lizaveta, Burn Witch Burn, and Disengage. Pi I Ml - treasui so Natalie tell- me I i- in one ol my English«lasses He should be proud to share ■ classroom with me tor three hour- a week. Me, I'm proud
that I survived the semester Aren't you proud of me?
-This Guide proudly written !>i/ (fee inimitable Kevin Lerner
(Pi UmbdaPhi, follow your em end Spruce Street)
Counterparts: Singers, Wings, and Other Things. Each da] I thank divine providence that there are SO many a eappeHa group- in our
Free Delivery on campus after 5 PM Holkbrj Gift Certificates Available ($5. $10. A $20) Now hiring for all poaitiona (apply within)
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Wednesday
,
The Descendents with Bouncing Souls and Swingin' Utters. I'm Gary trom Paoli. This i- mj tir-t com iri guide There's going to be ■ concert on Wednesday I he Descendents are playing with Bouncing Souls .mil Swingin' Utters li you w .int to know more about i .in Utters, you should t.ilk to my friend F.ii Sheila on page ' Sometimes, she gets so thirsty for milk, she cannot wail for the complete pasteurization process so she goes directly to the (arm .ind drinks trom the Swingin' I Hers Hope von liked m\ guide lli.mk you. 8:00 p.m. -This Guide proudly written by the studly Gary Kiang (Theater of the I wing Arts ; mil)
Kmvln Lmrnor. The Culdmm Editor of 34th street Magazine proudly presents art editors Susan Padniek and Jessica Rcsnick (who hardly ever get what's due to them): Studtnl Art tit I'cnu: Undergraduate Show. Meyenon is currently
Drink c£ <$e Merry I
5 • • • • •
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25 Drafts, 40 Bottles and No Fears (Oh yeah! We've got great food too
showing the artwork of Penn's undergrads. This amateur exhibition gives I sense of where art is going in the future. Photography dominates, and shows the artists' quests to explore and express their personalities and day-to-day experiences. The sculpture, such as Abb) Feldman's "Functional Art' dothes hanger and Dorothy Toppercer'a "Untitled" accessorized tree branch, are abstract yet accessible in their use of familiar objects The computer age merges with arlistn expression in Julie Lin's digital image, Slow Death." ThisshoM presents! diverse sample of what Penn's art students can do... go support them and see their work Through December tv hwnl of Fine Arts, Meyenon Hall Lower Cillery)
rial appearance al thenewl) opened Writers I louse Fills show otters an alternative glimpse Into the creative minds of Perm B student artists i he controversial and personal Issues addressed bv these artists make a powerful impact on the \ lewer because they give visual expression to what's really on student's minds. You can experience this stimulating art in the COZJ setting of the
Writers House There are plent) ol i hairs and tables to sit. read, look al the art, and meet new people All in all, this is a great place to hang out — which proves it is possible to be intellectual and collegiate at Penn! Noon to 11 p.m., daily (Fridays until 5 p.m.). (Writers House, 38th end Locust)
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Rated Best Peking Duck in Town! I USA TODAY I 14 Best Restaurant Nationwide
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Favorite Chinesei Restaurant of Penn Students and Faculty for Years\
Providing On & Off Campus Catering for over 10 Years! Inquire about our party and group arrangements. Full menu & dimsum served daily. Also full health, diet, and vegetarian menu. With Penn ID or Student Advantage ("aril, receive 15', off purchase, ol'$20oftnore
18
(MeyerSOH Hall Upper Gallery, 34th and Walnut sti Troy Thirdgill. I've never heard of this guv I suppose that means he s not that big a deal, since onlv things I've heard of have made it big. When 1 know you, you're made It runs in mv familv. Like mv greatuncle Henrv, who managed Al Jarreau for a while, just before he became big He managed some pro bowler too, but I forget his name. Obviously, that bowler's not big anymore Thu. through Sun. — This Guide proudly written by the well-connected Kevin Lenter (Catch A Rising Star. 221 South Street. 440-HAHA)
MMMMMMMW-
Welcome to Penn! *■ 5& ^ A* \%
PANGHAT VITHENT1C INDIAN CI ISINi; (21S)
Schoolhouse Rock. Isn't this gnat'' Your. hildhood has just come to lire and jumped onstage. I really hope this throws you into uncontrollable tits ol ecstasy Thursdays through Sundays The run just got extended into January. That doesn't mean vou can procrastinate, though — This Guide proudly recycled from last week's Street by the repetitive Kevin Lerner
(Society Hill Playhouse, 507 S Second St. 923-0210J Quadramics: HOI 11 Haltimnre. I don't know anything about this show except that it has really COOl marble in it. Katherine and I made it, and it is the best marble anywhere ll looks even more like marble than real marble. You should see this show just for my marble because it s the best Thu. through Sat, 8:00 p. m. — This Guide proudly written by the marbleized Lauren Shaffer llliirold Prince Theater, Ann, Center, 37th and Walnut streets)
Hell Is Other People: Artist Guild at the Writers House. The Artist Guild's fall show makes its fi.
Larry Mitnick: Druu-fiigs PIII'HI~M~~*~~M
ings Architecture. If nothing else, vou should come out of the Larry Mitnick show with a deeper understanding of the process of architecture. Mitnick presents models, sketches, photographs, and text in Ins examination ol architectural production. His semi-abstract paintings suggest the entire architectural process in one shot, by depicting s\ mboK of .m hitecture. and his use of unnatural color evokes the same sense of awe that an at tn.il building intimates. Fans of The Founlahthead will especially appreciate this sinus
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Travel Agents International (818) 242-4242 (800)381-3600
Penn Singers: Brigadoon. I In lyrics for Brigadoon were written bv the famous lyridsl Alan |a\ I ernei I don't know whether or not he's actually related to me, but I'm proud to share his last name. Lerner is | great name, so I'll write it again lerner LERNER. Kevin Lerner Kevin M. Lerner. Thu. through Sat. 8:00 p.m. — TTii's Guide proudly written In/ the omnipotent Kevin LERNER
iibrrs School Theater, Annenherg School... duh!) Camelot. The lyrics for Canielol. like Brigadoon (see above guide). were written bv the famouslvmist
December 5, 1996
Alan |ay Loner. I still don't know whether or not he's actually related to me, bill I'm still proud to share his last name. Lerner is still a great name, so I'll write it again: Lerner. I ERNER. Kevin Lerner. Kevin M. I erner Runs through Christmas. -This Guide proudly recopied by the lazy Kevin lerner nberg School Theater, AnnenlOOi... tluh!)
Without A Net. This is without a doubt the funniest damn improv group in the history of mankind. And you'd get non-stop laughs for \IM>. that Jason guy is, without a doubt, the funniest man on this campus. Don't forget to bring some random object because, without a doubt. Without A Net is hosting "Bring an Object Night." But don't bring a dildo, 'cause without a doubt a lot of people will do that. Oh, and a very special "Happy Birthday!" to Matt Korahais! I'm drunk right now.
-This Guide proudly written by the nepotislic and inebriated }ason GianUno (High Rise East Rathskeller, Sunday 11 p.m.)
Having Our Say. This ptaj about old women But enough about old women, let's talk about me again. I'm not old, and I'm not a woman, but I've certainly had my say in this issue of Street. Well. I've talked enough; what do you think about me? Send comments to
[email protected]. You know I love you. Don't break this amazing streak ol self-esteem I haw going right now I'm not sure I could lake the tall. Dec. 10 through 15. -This Guide proudly written by the about-to-be-electronically harrassed Kevin lerner (ZeUerbach Theater, Annenberg Center) A Tuna Christmas. Quite the show. Through some unazing quick changes two men star as all the characters ot in eccentric town If you like people who make fun ot rexaiu or if like tubby guys who dress up as women, you hot might enjo} this play. Even if this description doesn't tit you, this / id;,, sequel is a gas. — rfci's Guide proudly recycled by the still-repetitious Kevin Lerner
IWeekends through New Yem So, iety mi Playhouse, 507 S. 8th •in.
Streetlights: Free Morphine Injected with pride by the available Dan Fienberg
Morphine was plaving in Boston this fall with They Might Be Giants and the Cardigans. Film Ediott Neustadter loves the
Cardigans and mv friend Keri "Alex" Gino loves TMBG. There fore,by the transitive property lor some other property that I missed when I cut high school Geometry) you will all love Morphine Actually, did you know that Bcla Lugosi was hooked on Morphine. And I hear that Edgar Allan Poe was too. If Morphine is good enough for them, you can bet that they're good enough for you. All of vou folks who wanted
I verdeai here last year can stop your whining. Anyway, from what I hear Morphine is tar more addU live than Everclear Alter all, how much of that stuft tan you drink without gelling skk? Oh yeah... the concert is free Hear mat? Free! I won't be there because I'm going to my brother Ori's bar mit/v.ih. but what - vour excuse? -D./.F.
MOVIE TIMES: compiled and typed by Kevin Lerner CINEMAGIC3ATPENN Walnut between 391ft and 40th 5555 Star Trek: First Contact. Fri 4 I7:15,945 1230 Sal 1 15 4 15, 7:15 9 15 12 XfcSun l 15 I 15 7:15 Mon-Thu 7:15, 9:45. Daylight Thu 12:10 am Fri 4110,7:001000,12:2s Sal I mi 1-00 7:00,100) 12 25;Sun 1:00, 101,700,10:00; Mon-Thu 7«), lftOO. Ransom Fn 4:10, 7:10, 1000, 12 25 Sat 1:10, 1 10,7:10, I0O), 12 25, Sun 1:10,4:10,7:10,10:00; Mon-Thu 7 10 10:00. RITZ AT THE BOURSE 4th St. North of Chestnut 925 '900 Palookaville Dailv 1:00, *05, 5-10, 7:20, 9:25 Romeo & Juliet FriS.it 130, 420, 7:20,10:00; Sun-Mon 1:30 4:10, 10:00. Big Night In Sat 1251 730, 10:10 Sun 1250 *05 5-.2I 950; Mon-Tue 1250 )A fclO I0O) Ridicule Dailv 10 9:40 Secrets and Lies In Sit 1:20, 115 7 in. 1045,-Sun-Tue 150,50) 8:00. RITZ FIVE 214 WalnutSt. 925-7900 Mother Night Fri-Mon 2:50, 7 20 Tue-Tlui 250, I0O) Breaking the
Waves Fri-Sat 123 Sun-Tfcu I ill JO) B in The English Patient I-n-s.it 12 10, I » 1:45 5:00,7:00,8:15,10:15 Sun-Tue I20) 1:00,3:10. 4:15,630 730,9 X) Wed 12:00,3hi 4:15,630 750 9 ?0Thu
KW Style on the Street
1200, I (Hi, >lii 4 15 630 7 Michael Collins D.uh I 10 1:15 7H0, 9:45 Swingers Fri-Mon 12:45 15 lii.-lhu 12:45 AMC OLDE CIT1 J 2nd m Ransom (On two screens) I n 4 JO, "20,8:00,11' -,il 4s son 20), JO) siM feffl - | 10:00, Mon-Thu 430 5:4 DA SAMERIC 1908Che>tiu.: Star Trek: First Contact In Sun 1 20, 420,7 Mon Thu 1 20. 4 20. "20 10 io SpaceJamFri-Sunl250 I W Mon-Thu l JO '30 9:40, Ransom DaiK IO), "(Hi, 10:00 Sei ii Off Fri-Sun I lo 4 10 7:10 10 10 Mon Thu 1:10, I 10 7:10 "50. UA69TH STREET Space Jam Dailv 11 50 12 20,2:00, 2:40 I 10, INI 630 90). Daylight I'aiK 10:30 Ransom Dailv I 00,330,730, 10 20 I he Preacher's Wife Sneak Preview sun 5:10 Star I rek. First Contact Dairj |ingle All the Way DaU) 12 I 7:50, 10:00 Set it Off Dailv 1240. 4 00 70)730 "lo I,I JO mi Dalmations I-n-s.it 1250 140,650,930 Sun 1150,2 M Mon-Thu 12:50, 3:40, f.^.1' M
WITH STREETS FASHION DORK AT LARGE
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. the IJIH salty "ill j queeeence i»apDOonrn of rarewei farewel tears The past pastyeai has been an arrnoonafil raErcaSEr roller-coaster tor lor tnasje those of us here hoot? ati a 'Style and it's brought us to a difficult decision. In SOT-speak, we've_got issues The weight of the scrutiny were sub' week has become unbearable So, the bme has come for us to end Style's tyrannical reign Before we depart, though, *n words must be said to those who've helped us so much Our eternal gratitude goes out to all ofthe following the unruly oars' *»J the make-up boys, Theta Xi's naked boy, the engineenng dorks, Leora, the Eurotrash mafia, the self-proclaimed "hottest girl GET THE BOZACK! '' Penn." engineering dorks, Really Big Hair girl, Dogboy. Drunken party qiri, Elliot Witney, Wee Willie Wenke, Betty Wu (Security Mistress), Penn's Harstyle Kings, the Altemaherd, the Zete's Croquet Ravers, the sisterhoods of SOT and Theta, the memberThere's been a lot made ship of Tabard (for its "unsurpassed excellence"), anyone who's ever stopped wearing something we said was dumb, and all those of Penn's freshman who sold out their friends to t help us Your shameful and ridiculous behavior has our bread and butter We love you class, and its basketball players especially, but This little piggy goes to market As hard as we've tried to we at Style arent so change to woeful fashion tenI There are a lotl sure about their mental decies of Penn's clueless of people at J acuity Take the beanmasses, we at Style are al[ Penn who can | ways dismayed at some of the pole at right, Geoffyboast a style Poo (as his fnends call things we all their own, him) Though he might see people but only a few know how to make a wearing. who can move to the hole, he Take for match the oscant remember where example tentatious St. his own small forward the fall's A's sophois. and so he's forced to worst Polyester Commando more at left, constantly hand check trend (at his |ock to remind himwhom we'll releft) — wearing motorcycle boots 'er to as Wally. Always resplendent in his self. The ladies love this, with short skirts This just dont make| pink Polo oxfords and his Gucci loafers, we hear.even though no kmda sense And combining awful our marvebout-campus brings undeniable ', Geoffs always been betpolyester print shirts (above) with a Panache to the prer>school fashion cirter at man-texnan At camoflage backpack? What are you cuit. Still, his ridiculous bumble-bee least, though, we know people smoking? Unless you're a s^ped stockings leave a bad taste in he's experienced at card-carrying member of the Altema«yle s mouth. But if they're expensive, taking matters into his —, herd, uqty clothes rust aren't cool they must be cool, right? Uh, no. ...I Think it's Booty! own hands
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SPEC CONCERTS Present
with special guests:
Disco Biscuits Friday December 6th with f&..
Penn ID $5.00 without
Irvine Auditorium Corner of 34th and Spruce Streets Doors open 7:30
